1148: LJ Idol, Week 2: Three Little Words
Things I regret doing right this second: 1) Answering the phone when my sister called on Tuesday, 2) Saying yes to her request and doing so with feigned enthusiasm 3) Giving her beast of a dog my sock as a peace offering.
Now I’m cowering in the corner of my couch like I just saw a fucking spider sprint across the carpet while the dog thrashes my sock around like it’s something that poses an immediate threat to our safety. Scratch that; her safety. I’m pretty certain she doesn’t really care about mine especially since she nearly ripped the sock off of my foot before I gave in and threw it to her.
“Wanna watch Daisy?” My sister asked before launching into a ten minute explanation of how her perfect boyfriend was whisking her away on the perfect surprise vacation to the perfect paradise but she couldn’t dream of leaving her beloved perfect dog all alone in a kennel.
I should have said no but instead I fucking had to be a perfect sister and say “Sure, that’s fine!” with so much enthusiasm I can’t even envision how she didn’t sense how thoroughly insincere I was being.
“Oh how wonderful!” she cried out. I swear she thinks she sounds fucking impressive talking like that, but really it’s just laughable. “You’re such a doll! It works out great since you work at home you’ll have plenty of time to watch her unlike those places. I’m sure you two will have lots of fun together!”
So here I am, two days into watching the little beast and we have not been having a fucking ball, unless you count the one Molly brought in her little bag of toys (I’m telling you, it’s a diaper bag but she won’t admit it) which Daisy destroyed about 57 minutes after she arrived. I’ve been picking up ball bits since then, for the record.
Should’ve said no.
Since she’s been here I’ve also gotten almost zero work done. I know my sister is under the impression that I spend about 20 minutes out of my day working, but that is just not true…except for right now thanks to her beastly canine.
Now she’s tossed the sock aside and has started prancing back to me. Great, just great. “Now what, Daisy?” She cocks her head at me and actually looks sweet for the moment, but it won’t be long before she turns into a menace again.
Should’ve said no.
Any moment now she’ll be looking for the next thing she can…flop down on? Did she just…? Is she…sleeping? Alright now she actually looks sweet and innocent but I am not falling for this. This is my sister’s dog after all. Sweet and innocent means nothing to either of them.
Should’ve said no.
As if she could read my thoughts, Daisy looks up at me and starts running towards the couch with a mischievous look in her eyes. I knew this was all part of some evil plan she had been concocting. With little effort she leaps up onto the couch and makes her way towards me.
I swear if this dog thinks I’m going to wrestle with her on the couch (or anywhere else, for that matter) she’s got another think coming. She pauses for a beat and then curls up next to me, nestling her head against my leg. I start scratching her head and I swear, if this dog could purr she would be doing it. It’s like she’s transformed from a hyperactive monster to a sweet little angel in one fell swoop.
Alright, maybe she isn’t so bad.
___________________________________________________This fictional entry is written for Week 2 of
therealljidol. Thank you for reading!
Now I’m cowering in the corner of my couch like I just saw a fucking spider sprint across the carpet while the dog thrashes my sock around like it’s something that poses an immediate threat to our safety. Scratch that; her safety. I’m pretty certain she doesn’t really care about mine especially since she nearly ripped the sock off of my foot before I gave in and threw it to her.
“Wanna watch Daisy?” My sister asked before launching into a ten minute explanation of how her perfect boyfriend was whisking her away on the perfect surprise vacation to the perfect paradise but she couldn’t dream of leaving her beloved perfect dog all alone in a kennel.
I should have said no but instead I fucking had to be a perfect sister and say “Sure, that’s fine!” with so much enthusiasm I can’t even envision how she didn’t sense how thoroughly insincere I was being.
“Oh how wonderful!” she cried out. I swear she thinks she sounds fucking impressive talking like that, but really it’s just laughable. “You’re such a doll! It works out great since you work at home you’ll have plenty of time to watch her unlike those places. I’m sure you two will have lots of fun together!”
So here I am, two days into watching the little beast and we have not been having a fucking ball, unless you count the one Molly brought in her little bag of toys (I’m telling you, it’s a diaper bag but she won’t admit it) which Daisy destroyed about 57 minutes after she arrived. I’ve been picking up ball bits since then, for the record.
Should’ve said no.
Since she’s been here I’ve also gotten almost zero work done. I know my sister is under the impression that I spend about 20 minutes out of my day working, but that is just not true…except for right now thanks to her beastly canine.
Now she’s tossed the sock aside and has started prancing back to me. Great, just great. “Now what, Daisy?” She cocks her head at me and actually looks sweet for the moment, but it won’t be long before she turns into a menace again.
Should’ve said no.
Any moment now she’ll be looking for the next thing she can…flop down on? Did she just…? Is she…sleeping? Alright now she actually looks sweet and innocent but I am not falling for this. This is my sister’s dog after all. Sweet and innocent means nothing to either of them.
Should’ve said no.
As if she could read my thoughts, Daisy looks up at me and starts running towards the couch with a mischievous look in her eyes. I knew this was all part of some evil plan she had been concocting. With little effort she leaps up onto the couch and makes her way towards me.
I swear if this dog thinks I’m going to wrestle with her on the couch (or anywhere else, for that matter) she’s got another think coming. She pauses for a beat and then curls up next to me, nestling her head against my leg. I start scratching her head and I swear, if this dog could purr she would be doing it. It’s like she’s transformed from a hyperactive monster to a sweet little angel in one fell swoop.
Alright, maybe she isn’t so bad.
___________________________________________________This fictional entry is written for Week 2 of
therealljidol. Thank you for reading!