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Complications in life seem to take over everything. Why does everything have to be so complicated?? Like when you like a girl, you have to act like you don’t like them just so they will like you... What is up with that? Why can't you just go and ask them "hey would like to go hang out sometime", or something like that. But no you have to play this stupid game of not paying attention to each other and then maybe she will tell one of her friends to go and ask you out for her. Why do most girl love to play games with people?? Does it make them feel good to toy with guys or leading them on then all of a sudden "oh hey sorry I kind of like someone else now"...:( I mean don't get me wrong guys toy with girl just the same but its stupid. People just get hurt or up set and then other people start spreading rumors about each other and make this big mess for someone else to clean up... ITS GAY!!! And people change because of it. I changed because of it. What was once as clear as day has now become dark as night. I do believe happiness can last, but not forever. I have forgotten what it feels like to truly be happy. I mean I have fun and get happy about stuff every so often but I used to be able to just sit down and say "I'm happy with my life right now, things can't get any better"... There was a time when I could do that, but that seems like such a long time ago. People would always tell me that I was too soft, that I could not take pain and sorrow. That I was to weak and would get hurt to easily. This caused me to change, to become someone else. To become stronger and able to take pain. But this also made me angry and cold hearted. It made me change into a bad person, and the person I am today. I’ve met new people, people like me. But to be apart of them you have to be like them. They helped change me. My closest friends have told me that I have changed but not in the good way. That now I look at the bad side to everything and that I can hardly smile anymore. I do not like who I’ve become but I have to be this way because if not I am too weak and soft. The pains of the past still haunts me but I do not show it anymore. But they do come back when I go to sleep sometimes. But they are just a memory long to be forgotten. I will try to see with my heart but it feels that my heart has stopped talking to me. Maybe someday I will become a better person again, but for now I am who I am...
I am - %#&!@x
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