Only Diamonds Can Cut This Shit
This is absurdly fucking hard. It has been one WEEK and already I'm feeling so defeated. I don't have it in me to just give up and stop fighting but Jesus CHRIST, I need something to feed off of. I need some spark of positiveness or whatever the hell word is needed there. I need SOMETHING to make me feel like I'm making some progress. It's not even the doing that wears me out and drains me, it's just the reaction or lack thereof. The recognition I guess. Maybe I'm having too much goddamn expectation for only one WEEK. But God I couldn't have done anything better. And I want to just put my major plan into action and make it or break it but its too fucking RISKY. If you're looking back on this reading this: DONT FORGET HOW DIFFICULT THIS IS. IT IS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY TOO.
I don't care about those other stupid situations. They're out of my mind. They're not in my focus. The whole reason this bullshit is happening is because I lost focus and lacked commitment. I'm driving myself INSANE with all of this. God dammit. I just want to say FUCK IT to all this being patient and waiting and pull out to trump card so bad but I know it would be a fucking mistake. This is crap. This makes me want to slam my head into a wall saying "YOU IDIOT. YOU FUCKED IT UP. SO SUFFER FOR IT" Hmph...I'm sure someone else is saying that anyways. But someone HELP ME.
It's going to take something spectacular which is what I'm relying on, but god dammit HELP ME. I was distracted. I was fucking greedy. I really do deserve this stupid assed feeling...but jesus please not much longer. Just SOME sort of progress PLEASE. I just can't handle this cold shoulder.
I don't care about those other stupid situations. They're out of my mind. They're not in my focus. The whole reason this bullshit is happening is because I lost focus and lacked commitment. I'm driving myself INSANE with all of this. God dammit. I just want to say FUCK IT to all this being patient and waiting and pull out to trump card so bad but I know it would be a fucking mistake. This is crap. This makes me want to slam my head into a wall saying "YOU IDIOT. YOU FUCKED IT UP. SO SUFFER FOR IT" Hmph...I'm sure someone else is saying that anyways. But someone HELP ME.
It's going to take something spectacular which is what I'm relying on, but god dammit HELP ME. I was distracted. I was fucking greedy. I really do deserve this stupid assed feeling...but jesus please not much longer. Just SOME sort of progress PLEASE. I just can't handle this cold shoulder.