A tired beyond tired.
I am so freakin' exhausted.
I thought, mistakenly, that parenting just a 9 year old instead of both a 9 year old and a 1 year old baby, would be so much easier. In fact it is not. Partly because having his brother taken away by the Evil Court System has Big Guy, and us, terribly sad and confused. And partly because now he gets to fully express his limitless needs for attention and has no little brother to distract himself with. I am tired emotionally, mentally, physically, and in every other way. I am utterly worn out. I haven't been feeding myself enough, sleeping enough, socializing at all, paying bills and doing paperwork enough, working enough. Right now it feels like the only thing I've been doing (more than) enough is playing catch, spending inordinate amount of time at playgrounds, and fighting tooth and nail to get Big Guy to take his meds in the morning.
I thought, mistakenly, that parenting just a 9 year old instead of both a 9 year old and a 1 year old baby, would be so much easier. In fact it is not. Partly because having his brother taken away by the Evil Court System has Big Guy, and us, terribly sad and confused. And partly because now he gets to fully express his limitless needs for attention and has no little brother to distract himself with. I am tired emotionally, mentally, physically, and in every other way. I am utterly worn out. I haven't been feeding myself enough, sleeping enough, socializing at all, paying bills and doing paperwork enough, working enough. Right now it feels like the only thing I've been doing (more than) enough is playing catch, spending inordinate amount of time at playgrounds, and fighting tooth and nail to get Big Guy to take his meds in the morning.