i found this...
this is something i guess i wrote a while back...its dated 5-23-03. it was on my computer...and its so eerie...and powerful...i just thought i'd share it with you all...please i really want comments on this one...seriously
i know your not there...and i never have any idea if you ever read
these things that i write to you....but whatever...un-assurance is
all i seem to have lately!! i got no one else to talk to...and
since you don't talk to me...this is the next best thing...
fuckin!
my life is so sad and pathetic these days....fuck!...not a single day
goes by that i don't think about you! think about everything between
us...think about you and your beautiful face...damn!
i never told anyone this...but just after we met...i thought we were
meant to be together...that god had graced me with the absolute
perfect person in the world....and that you were almost to good to
be true...that somehow it would all get fucked up!
BOldRObo: look at me now...
BOldRObo: i didn't want contentment...or perfection...i just wanted
someone who wanted me back....
BOldRObo: i just wanted to have what i see all over the place....i
just wanted to be loved...and then you came along...and i thought
that i could aspire to be anything greater than what i believe me
life to be! well...
BOldRObo: and after everything i am and everything i do...after
everything turns to shit in my life....and the only reason i get up
in the morning is to go to work...you ask me how my life is now??
I'd answer..."what fucking life"!! if it weren't for my jobs, i'd
have blown my brains out months ago...
BOldRObo: when everyone you thought was your friend pisses you off
till you can't stand them anymore....and the one person who could
make all that go away refuses to talk or see you...what do you do?
BOldRObo: you tell me what i should do...and i'll do it!
BOldRObo: anything to take my mind of this shitty fucking exsistence
that i only half-lead anyway...fuck everything...
i know your not there...and i never have any idea if you ever read
these things that i write to you....but whatever...un-assurance is
all i seem to have lately!! i got no one else to talk to...and
since you don't talk to me...this is the next best thing...
fuckin!
my life is so sad and pathetic these days....fuck!...not a single day
goes by that i don't think about you! think about everything between
us...think about you and your beautiful face...damn!
i never told anyone this...but just after we met...i thought we were
meant to be together...that god had graced me with the absolute
perfect person in the world....and that you were almost to good to
be true...that somehow it would all get fucked up!
BOldRObo: look at me now...
BOldRObo: i didn't want contentment...or perfection...i just wanted
someone who wanted me back....
BOldRObo: i just wanted to have what i see all over the place....i
just wanted to be loved...and then you came along...and i thought
that i could aspire to be anything greater than what i believe me
life to be! well...
BOldRObo: and after everything i am and everything i do...after
everything turns to shit in my life....and the only reason i get up
in the morning is to go to work...you ask me how my life is now??
I'd answer..."what fucking life"!! if it weren't for my jobs, i'd
have blown my brains out months ago...
BOldRObo: when everyone you thought was your friend pisses you off
till you can't stand them anymore....and the one person who could
make all that go away refuses to talk or see you...what do you do?
BOldRObo: you tell me what i should do...and i'll do it!
BOldRObo: anything to take my mind of this shitty fucking exsistence
that i only half-lead anyway...fuck everything...