Because I have nothing better to do...
I was looking through the "intimacy" section of a favourite vegan products provider when I noticed they stopped carrying a certain type of condom. Why? The company now participates in animal testing which raises the question.. OH MY GOD WHAT ARE THEY DOING WITH THOSE CONDOMS?! Yeah yeah they could be testing other products on animals but I find the idea of a little harmless bestiality to be a lot more palatable for my delicate(perverted) mind.
I also came across the following:
Vegan Lubricant Flavored Party Pack (naturally flavored)
on backorder
$9.95
Tell a Friend About this Product
Welcome to the party! You can now sample six different Flavored Lubricants. This container makes a great gift for friends or a purse size travel pack for your favorite flavor encounters.
These flavored lubricants will provide a playful and healthy complement to your fun.
Sugar-free formula can be used for body massage and intercourse.
No artificial flavoring means a great natural taste.
Preferred by women.
Convenient travel size.
Latex-compatible & Water-based.
Tube contains 6 x .2 oz pillow packs
Ingredients: glacier water, vegetable glycerin, hemp seed oil, guarana extract, siberian ginseng extract, hydroxyethyl-cellulose, sodium benzoate, tetrasodium EDTA, grapefruit seed extract, damiana extract, natural flavor.
Glacier water? Guarana? Ginseng? Yuppie? Do people still use that term?
That was my second thought, actually. My first thought was "No artificial flavours! I bet this stuff doesn't taste like poison like everything else I've tried! And glacier water! Awesome! I'm never drinking spring water again! Guarana? That'll give me more energy to su.."
I guess I'm one of them or, as Joey puts it when I customize food or complain, a "Picky White Person."
Haha.. I had Andre try to find a synonym for "yuppie" and this is what he found:
3 entries found for yuppie.
Main Entry: chronic fatigue syndrome Part of Speech: noun Definition: disorder involving extreme fatigue and weakness Synonyms: chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome, fatigue disease, fatigue syndrome, myalgic encephalomyelitis, post-viral fatigue syndrome, postviral syndrome, yuppie flu Source:
Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.1.1)
Copyright © 2005 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
lol I can't believe they put that in the dictionary..
They also sell dental dams, a "Yuppie's" answer to Saran Wrap:
These Dams are a silky thin sheet of lightly scented, natural latex designed for pleasure and peace of mind.
Never again will you need dental dams, plastic wrap, modified condoms, latex gloves or other improvised devices that may not adequately protect you against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
Dental Dams Flavoured - 3 pack
A natural sheet of latex 10" x 6" in size specially designed as a barrier.
Choose: Vanilla or Wildberry
And the only condoms they have left in stock are Maxi(large). You won't find delusions of grandeur in the vegan community..