May 17, 2002 22:27
Well this week went by fast. What else is new. Work, home, sleep, and work again. That is what my life consists of. Luckily Kender was here the first part of the week to keep me company. Ariel has not really been there for me lately. Our relationship is good, dont get me wrong, but us as a family isnt working right now. I feel like it is only ok for me to be happy with everyone. If I get upset or feel that one of the children need to be punished ariel comes running in and I get pushed out. I dont have a say in how they act and what they do, and because of this they know all they have to do to get what they want is cry for mom. It is 10:30 and cyria is running around and ariel is about to take a bath with her. This to me is COMPLETELY wrong. First of all now shae is going to feel bad because she doesnt get to stay up when she wants to, and second of all I was hoping to be able to spend some quality time with ariel and now after the bath she is going to be tired and want to go to sleep. What else is new. Her labito was up until the 4 days that she could get pregnant were over then we had sex once after that and nothing for a week now. I guess I am just frustrated and have no right to feel this way. But that is kinda the point. I dont really have a right to feel anything lately. I guess maybe I am feeling a little left out of the whole family togetherness thing because of work. Oh well fuck it right. Perhaps I should just shut the fuck up and go on doing what ever it is I do all day, let them do what ever it is they do all day, come home eat and put my ass to bed!