On Living with Cerebral Palsy (Part 2)
First off, I realize I've been a bad LJ friend and haven't been commenting, and I'm sorry. I hope to do better in the future.
Thanks to all who commented on the last post. In my previous post on living with CP I only touched on a few of the issues, mostly dealing with how I've had to deal with various physical challenges. This post deals with the reactions of other people to my disability and how not to react to somebody who is different.
Pretty much until university, one scenario kept repeating itself. On a very regular basis (sometimes several times a day), I would have strangers come up to me and ask why I was limping. The basic conversation was something like this:
Stranger: "Did you hurt your leg?"
Me: "No. It's always like that."
Stranger: "What's wrong?"
Me: "I have Cerebral Palsy."
Stranger: "What's that?"
Me: "Brain damage that occurs at birth."
Stranger: "So what else is wrong?"
Me (getting severely annoyed by this point): "It affects all my left side."
Stranger: "How?"
and the conversation would continue until I was too annoyed, or the stranger got bored. Who goes up to a little kid (or a teenager for that matter) and decides to strike up a conversation about their limp? Having this happen regularly meant that there was no way I'd ever be able to forget my disability. My interactions with people became defined by my disability. I think this why I'm so uncomfortable around people.
Thankfully for whatever reason, these conversations have stopped. In fact, I find it interesting that nobody ever asks even if I've known the person for quite some time. I'm pleased that I don't have to explain myself, but that doesn't stop me from wondering why the change.
While people don't ask, reactions people have are more subtle but can be a much bigger problem. My undergrad program was a co-op program where we alternated 4 months of school and 4 months of work. So, there is a whole structure for applying to jobs and interviewing. Every job I got in undergrad was either through a phone interview or a transfer within the same company to a department I had worked with.
There is nothing so disheartening as seeing the interviewers' faces when I walked into the room. They would have this look of disappointment, pity, and fear. This reaction is why I decided to do a PhD after my Master's degree. Since I'm shy to begin with, I'm not exactly comfortable with interviewing, and adding that just makes me terrified. Finding jobs in my field is difficult enough without this.
Thanks to all who commented on the last post. In my previous post on living with CP I only touched on a few of the issues, mostly dealing with how I've had to deal with various physical challenges. This post deals with the reactions of other people to my disability and how not to react to somebody who is different.
Pretty much until university, one scenario kept repeating itself. On a very regular basis (sometimes several times a day), I would have strangers come up to me and ask why I was limping. The basic conversation was something like this:
Stranger: "Did you hurt your leg?"
Me: "No. It's always like that."
Stranger: "What's wrong?"
Me: "I have Cerebral Palsy."
Stranger: "What's that?"
Me: "Brain damage that occurs at birth."
Stranger: "So what else is wrong?"
Me (getting severely annoyed by this point): "It affects all my left side."
Stranger: "How?"
and the conversation would continue until I was too annoyed, or the stranger got bored. Who goes up to a little kid (or a teenager for that matter) and decides to strike up a conversation about their limp? Having this happen regularly meant that there was no way I'd ever be able to forget my disability. My interactions with people became defined by my disability. I think this why I'm so uncomfortable around people.
Thankfully for whatever reason, these conversations have stopped. In fact, I find it interesting that nobody ever asks even if I've known the person for quite some time. I'm pleased that I don't have to explain myself, but that doesn't stop me from wondering why the change.
While people don't ask, reactions people have are more subtle but can be a much bigger problem. My undergrad program was a co-op program where we alternated 4 months of school and 4 months of work. So, there is a whole structure for applying to jobs and interviewing. Every job I got in undergrad was either through a phone interview or a transfer within the same company to a department I had worked with.
There is nothing so disheartening as seeing the interviewers' faces when I walked into the room. They would have this look of disappointment, pity, and fear. This reaction is why I decided to do a PhD after my Master's degree. Since I'm shy to begin with, I'm not exactly comfortable with interviewing, and adding that just makes me terrified. Finding jobs in my field is difficult enough without this.