(no subject)
Last night was a wonderful night that had two very poignant moments: the culmination of a thought long in the making (then the losing of that thought) and then its phoenix like ascent rocketing into my mind once more with a pull of the hair (I love you kim!). Anyways, Ive discovered the very basal undertone of my relationship with nearly everyone in Port Angeles and it came from my childhood in a very interesting way. As a child I had instilled in me a good sense of philanthropy such that I was willing to bear the burden of anyone, the world, because I was living and able. This expressed itself in many ways, I loved cats very much, and in a very subtle sense it became a science for me to learn how to physically pleasure them in different ways by petting and the like, learning what they liked or what they didnt, how they changed over time and from cat to cat (like when some of them bite or lick the air when you scratch the notch of their tail and their ass, funny stuff). Well anyways, this transcribed over into dogs and being the undertone it was morphed my relationship with the world and its people. The giving and receiving of ecstasy in many different ways, emotional, physical, sexual (which is more an amalgam of the two)became a science and I loved doing that with people because it was a way to relate to them (though it does perpetuate a precedence of instant gratification and thats no good), and I grew to understand what was happening between the animals and myself and how our relationships changed or how they were always very similar (i'll touch on relationships more in depth in my next journal). Good lord its parenthases city...For some reason I dont feel I've beaten this dead horse enough yet, but its time I leave, I suppose I've got time, always time. Au revoir, mes amis, avez un bon jour.