Late night rants
Its almost 3 am...i know that doesn't seem too late, but when you've been working on the same paper since 7 it is. I really hate Latin American history, this is probably the worst paper I've ever written, seriously.
I just couldn't seem to focus, I'm so worried about so many things. I'm worried about being on meds and being "the girl on meds", I don't want that to be me, but I want to be happy and its been so hard for me to be happy lately.
I'm worried about Pete and his indecisiveness about giving me date that he's coming up, if he doesn't come I don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
I'm worried about Ryan and his girlfriend, and why it still upsets me when I see them together...I wish it wouldn't, it would make things so much easier.
I'm worried about work and boys at work...I've just got so much on my plate relationship-wise that I don't know if I can handle much more.
I'm worried about everything...I guess thats what the meds are for, but it will be weird not to worry.If I'm not worrying what am I doing? I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing, I mean it will change me but maybe its for the better.
I just want to be stable enough to be with someone, to be able to find someone, friend or more I really don't care but I need someone new, a fresh perspective. Everything around me is so wrapped up in everything else, everybody knows everything thats going on...I want to start over again.
Its now actually 3...he's been over at her place for hours and I'm pretending I don't care, the other he never called me back...not that I expected him to. Its funny, when I'm loved I overanalyze everything until I'm not loved anymore, and then I'm alone and I overanalyze even more. Its a rather vicious cycle. I just wish I could be ok with life, with the way things are...I just don't know how.
I just couldn't seem to focus, I'm so worried about so many things. I'm worried about being on meds and being "the girl on meds", I don't want that to be me, but I want to be happy and its been so hard for me to be happy lately.
I'm worried about Pete and his indecisiveness about giving me date that he's coming up, if he doesn't come I don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
I'm worried about Ryan and his girlfriend, and why it still upsets me when I see them together...I wish it wouldn't, it would make things so much easier.
I'm worried about work and boys at work...I've just got so much on my plate relationship-wise that I don't know if I can handle much more.
I'm worried about everything...I guess thats what the meds are for, but it will be weird not to worry.If I'm not worrying what am I doing? I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing, I mean it will change me but maybe its for the better.
I just want to be stable enough to be with someone, to be able to find someone, friend or more I really don't care but I need someone new, a fresh perspective. Everything around me is so wrapped up in everything else, everybody knows everything thats going on...I want to start over again.
Its now actually 3...he's been over at her place for hours and I'm pretending I don't care, the other he never called me back...not that I expected him to. Its funny, when I'm loved I overanalyze everything until I'm not loved anymore, and then I'm alone and I overanalyze even more. Its a rather vicious cycle. I just wish I could be ok with life, with the way things are...I just don't know how.