Well heres an update, most likely the last on internet I own...
So first things first I lost my job, I way be homeless give or take a week or 2, I'm desperately trying to get my licence this week, thankfuly I still have SOME work that will most liekly alot to making around 350-400 a month while remaining un employed, the rent here in this god forsaken home I live in is still 600$ a month so basicly no matter what.... I will have to be leaving or finding ANY work whatsoever within the next 30 days....
To be perfectly honest... I sat down on a rainy day about 3 years ago and looked at the way our econ was going the way our government was spending $$ and the way ive barely managed to scrape anything of a life out of the complete nothing Ive been given. And knew i would be trying to learn to fly and spread my wing beyond living in constant hell in the CENTER of a huricane.
My Father is a complete failure in every single thing he has ever done in his life... the most I will likely recieve from him and his passing are his debts and thated be more than I remember him giving me so far...
My Mother throughout 90% of my life was a struggeling alcoholic and despite everything she has done to achieve enlightenment out of the darkness I cant loudly say ive gotten much help from her minus some help with bills and utilities over this past year...
I'm tired.... I'm 21 years old and looking to my birthday in March and I'm mentally and often Physically exhausted all the time. I wanted to go to college I had the brains and if not all the time the drive to at least get a 2 year degree and by then I suspect I would have gone into some comupter tech. field and majored. I'm once again without work, with no real job to note in any resume, no savings to live through for a few weeks or even days and no future to look to in any way.
I had a dream about weather me being alive was a good idea... funny I found myself questioning... I dont know what to do, I dont know where to turn, or how to make anything of this... I might as well be dead to the world.
Sincerely- Colin
PS: The internet might be gone as of next week thus I may or may not be back in a week to a year, bye world.
To be perfectly honest... I sat down on a rainy day about 3 years ago and looked at the way our econ was going the way our government was spending $$ and the way ive barely managed to scrape anything of a life out of the complete nothing Ive been given. And knew i would be trying to learn to fly and spread my wing beyond living in constant hell in the CENTER of a huricane.
My Father is a complete failure in every single thing he has ever done in his life... the most I will likely recieve from him and his passing are his debts and thated be more than I remember him giving me so far...
My Mother throughout 90% of my life was a struggeling alcoholic and despite everything she has done to achieve enlightenment out of the darkness I cant loudly say ive gotten much help from her minus some help with bills and utilities over this past year...
I'm tired.... I'm 21 years old and looking to my birthday in March and I'm mentally and often Physically exhausted all the time. I wanted to go to college I had the brains and if not all the time the drive to at least get a 2 year degree and by then I suspect I would have gone into some comupter tech. field and majored. I'm once again without work, with no real job to note in any resume, no savings to live through for a few weeks or even days and no future to look to in any way.
I had a dream about weather me being alive was a good idea... funny I found myself questioning... I dont know what to do, I dont know where to turn, or how to make anything of this... I might as well be dead to the world.
Sincerely- Colin
PS: The internet might be gone as of next week thus I may or may not be back in a week to a year, bye world.