(no subject)
I feel like I keep having the same thoughts and coming back to the same conclusions and I wonder if I've ever really grown up all that much. Or do I just change the way I live but think the same things? I still get stressed about money and finding a good job for the fall and what I'm going to do next summer and what will I do when I graduate. I remind myself to only think about today, and maybe tomorrow, because planning too far ahead takes away from today. You don't want to be here in the future so you say the presents just a pleasant interruption to the past. How am I supposed to plan and live at the same time? Life is such a balance of contradictions. It's always you in my big dreams. I find that I'm scared at a lot of the things I think and feel because I could be judged for them. No different than I judge the people around me. I also find that when I run I think about everything and things just fit together and seem simple because my mind is somewhere else. The more I think about life and decisions the more I realize that everyone is on the pursuit and that we all just want to be happy, and that makes me feel some sort of cosmic connection to everyone else, if only for a little bit.