(no subject)
2010.
i fell asleep at 10:30 new year's eve. oops. i've just never really been into it. needless to say, 2009 was the worst year of my life, but i'm also sad to leave it. maybe it's weird, but i feel like i'm leaving mom behind in 2009. she's not coming with me into the new year. sometimes it hits me all at once that she's gone. that she's not coming home. she's not napping. or on vacation. she's dead and i'll never see her again. life just isn't as sweet without her in it. at least i started dreaming about her again.
i finally bought a car but i've really regretted it! i bought it on impulse when i was really down the other day. it's a 1971 VW Beetle with a million tiny things wrong with it. why did i buy it? it's not road trip ready, which is the whole reason i need a car. it's cute. that's why. ugh, i'm so dumb.
tuesday i start recording again.
i'm taking winter term off.
i'm sick of working graveyard.
i miss my mom.
here's to a new year?
i fell asleep at 10:30 new year's eve. oops. i've just never really been into it. needless to say, 2009 was the worst year of my life, but i'm also sad to leave it. maybe it's weird, but i feel like i'm leaving mom behind in 2009. she's not coming with me into the new year. sometimes it hits me all at once that she's gone. that she's not coming home. she's not napping. or on vacation. she's dead and i'll never see her again. life just isn't as sweet without her in it. at least i started dreaming about her again.
i finally bought a car but i've really regretted it! i bought it on impulse when i was really down the other day. it's a 1971 VW Beetle with a million tiny things wrong with it. why did i buy it? it's not road trip ready, which is the whole reason i need a car. it's cute. that's why. ugh, i'm so dumb.
tuesday i start recording again.
i'm taking winter term off.
i'm sick of working graveyard.
i miss my mom.
here's to a new year?