(no subject)
i'm really lucky to have a job that's gives me indefinite family leave after working there just shy of six months. on top of that, my boss has been checking in with me from time to time to see how i'm holding up.
i've been in longview for about 3 weeks. i've seen mom go downhill in just a short amount of time. amanda came up today to give me a little break...sad to think i need a break from my mom, but honestly, its exhausting taking care of her all day; emotionally and physically. i think the hardest thing i've done though, aside from watching her deteriorate, making sure she's taking the right pills at the right time, preparing her meals and helping her bathe, is taking her to OHSU on monday for a second opinion from a new doctor by myself. i've been taking her to her chemo appointments pretty much by myself for the past year, but this was different. she has a hard time walking now from fluid retention, so i had to push her around in a wheelchair. i'm telling you, that's the toughest part out of anything else.
also, a conundrum: i called a realtor on monday to list mom's house. i need to get down to milwaukie to douche it out but in order to do that i have to leave mom for a couple days and at this point days is all she has left. however, if she passes before it sells i'm screwed; i can't make the mortgage. what to do?
its all just so fucked up.
to top it all off her husband is a giant ass. he's gone golfing every single day since i've been there. i mean, if you're spouse had days left on earth, wouldn't you spend as much time as you could with her? most of the time when he's home he just bangs around the kitchen. he notices one little speck on the counter and he's got to clean the whole thing. he loves to give my brother and i the silent treatment for who knows what reason. mom's sisters who visit from out of town on the weekends have to stay in motels despite the fact there are two extra rooms in the house in addition to the one i stay in because andy likes his privacy. seriously dude? you're just going to golf anyway, so who cares? he works till 4:30, comes homes, bangs around in the kitchen, golfs till dark, then comes home and finally visits with mom. i can't stand that douche bag. is douche bag one word? douchebag? oh, and one last thing: he constantly bugs my mom about her will and what's she's going to do with her possessions. seriously? fuck off andy. he's so fucking rich her insurance is a drop in the bucket. lay off already.
i'm in town tonight for one night because i had to remove myself from the situation for a little bit. play with my kitten. kiss patrick. tomorrow i'll go back and try to smile.
i've been in longview for about 3 weeks. i've seen mom go downhill in just a short amount of time. amanda came up today to give me a little break...sad to think i need a break from my mom, but honestly, its exhausting taking care of her all day; emotionally and physically. i think the hardest thing i've done though, aside from watching her deteriorate, making sure she's taking the right pills at the right time, preparing her meals and helping her bathe, is taking her to OHSU on monday for a second opinion from a new doctor by myself. i've been taking her to her chemo appointments pretty much by myself for the past year, but this was different. she has a hard time walking now from fluid retention, so i had to push her around in a wheelchair. i'm telling you, that's the toughest part out of anything else.
also, a conundrum: i called a realtor on monday to list mom's house. i need to get down to milwaukie to douche it out but in order to do that i have to leave mom for a couple days and at this point days is all she has left. however, if she passes before it sells i'm screwed; i can't make the mortgage. what to do?
its all just so fucked up.
to top it all off her husband is a giant ass. he's gone golfing every single day since i've been there. i mean, if you're spouse had days left on earth, wouldn't you spend as much time as you could with her? most of the time when he's home he just bangs around the kitchen. he notices one little speck on the counter and he's got to clean the whole thing. he loves to give my brother and i the silent treatment for who knows what reason. mom's sisters who visit from out of town on the weekends have to stay in motels despite the fact there are two extra rooms in the house in addition to the one i stay in because andy likes his privacy. seriously dude? you're just going to golf anyway, so who cares? he works till 4:30, comes homes, bangs around in the kitchen, golfs till dark, then comes home and finally visits with mom. i can't stand that douche bag. is douche bag one word? douchebag? oh, and one last thing: he constantly bugs my mom about her will and what's she's going to do with her possessions. seriously? fuck off andy. he's so fucking rich her insurance is a drop in the bucket. lay off already.
i'm in town tonight for one night because i had to remove myself from the situation for a little bit. play with my kitten. kiss patrick. tomorrow i'll go back and try to smile.