(no subject)

[andtheocean]

I need new eyeliner and I need the warmth of someone else's hand grasping onto mine. I need their lips on my cheek, on my neck, on my lips. I need their eyes to lock into mine and their lips to whisper those three words. I truly believe that when you feel this way about someone, you should grasp onto it with dear life, take a chance, fall. I'm not the happiest of children, but I'm not a child. I've always had a hard time with everything, I.E. life. I think, no, I know that this is what I need to truly feel happy. Things in my life have never been picture perfect, and this is no exception. Just like everything else in my fucked up version of the world, this isn't leaning the way I want it to. One of my best friends, add him, add a depressed me, add a confusion like no other. I wish there was someone who could tell me to do in times like these, none of my so called "friends", most of whom I dislike and/or have nothing in common with, have anything of importance to say. But then again, I'm always wanting more. I hate asking for this more than anything, and I don't throw this word around like every other word that flows off my lips or from my fingers, I need help. Help me, tell me what to do, be my guidance, be what I need to get what I need. And then I think I might just have to love you.
Because, honestly, I've thought about this for awhile, and I'm in deepshitlove with this boy. I didn't know if it fit here, but I need help.