here i am
im still here wondering why im always so fucking depressed, its like i can be happy for no more than 2 hours, but i guess its better than nothing, im happyer being depressed cuz im depressed so much, im more comfortable showing that emotion, its like i dont even care any more, my life sux in some aspects, i love my boyfriend a whole hell of alot, but cant really do any thing about it cuz im 16, and hes about the only person keeping me alive,heather, you help lots 2, but i think with out aj, i would be gone by now.... its liek, i cant take this shit any more, its like, i rather bleed right now and leave scarrs of unhappyness than sit here and fucking deel, the way my dad puts any thing i do is coping out, he dont care what the fuck it is, i do to relive stress, drugs, smoking ciggarettes, drink, cut, it dont matter, cuz i cant do any of those fucking things, cutting is my favorite but that i dont do cuz i make promises to the people i love, but what the fuck does it matter right? theres 4 people that accualy really care, but sometimes i really truly doubt that, no one knows what it feels like, no one really cares, except for 2 people that i know of, heather, and nick, 2 of the greatest friends ive got, but i cant see nick, only talk to him, and heather, i try to see her, but iehter i got plans, or she cant, so why bother to try, so mostly i just lay in my room in the dark, and think, usualy think about how twisted my life is, and how i wish it would change, the only aspects i like of my life is my friends, and some of them i cant stand, and heather, you know who that is.
one of my very best friends, Adam, died last year and on april 24th it will be exactly 1 year since his death, and i dont know if i can handle that but hey, what the hell can ya do. right?
one of my very best friends, Adam, died last year and on april 24th it will be exactly 1 year since his death, and i dont know if i can handle that but hey, what the hell can ya do. right?