People always let you down...
Not a story, obviously, but just something worth writing - at least to me.
I've had this nagging, sinking feeling in my stomach for the past few weeks and have been trying, in vain, to pinpoint what has been putting a drag on me. For no certain reason, I came to a realization today - it was this sad feeling that people will always let you down.
I think I should start by saying that I don't think my family has let me down, and I don't think they will, but I know that, even within my family, people have let brothers, sisters, parents down. So I can see how that would work.
Mostly who I am talking about right now though are your friends, your colleagues - the people you interact with on a daily basis with whom you form a certain kinship. You give a little and they give a little back - theoretically. You form a mutual bond that, ideally, warms to both. And it all works out great - in the beginning. Then people become selfish, as they have a right to be, and you get let down.
And that's not to say that I haven't let others down either - I think we all do this. But I try my hardest not to let others down because I know how bad it feels to be let down yourself.
Is this why we exalt people like Mother Teresa and the Dalai Lama? Because they so willingly give so much of themself and actually expect nothing in return? We all like to think we are that selfless...but we're not. We expect reciprocation, and when we don't get it, we are disappointed.
Perhaps that's the lesson of it all - you can be disappointed or you can just move on and be the bigger person. I think what's dragging me down now is that I've been the bigger person in so many instances that I'm sick of it. I want to ride freely on the low road for once and reap the benefits with none of the guts.
Maybe when I get out of school - it's always my mantra. Maybe when I get out of school I'll make the right decision and make friends who will give to me as much I to them. I feel like I am a great friend and, often, I get nothing in return. It happens, I know. Life is rough. But it's hard to imagine that there is nothing I deserve in return to all that I give to my friends.
People always let you down.
I've had this nagging, sinking feeling in my stomach for the past few weeks and have been trying, in vain, to pinpoint what has been putting a drag on me. For no certain reason, I came to a realization today - it was this sad feeling that people will always let you down.
I think I should start by saying that I don't think my family has let me down, and I don't think they will, but I know that, even within my family, people have let brothers, sisters, parents down. So I can see how that would work.
Mostly who I am talking about right now though are your friends, your colleagues - the people you interact with on a daily basis with whom you form a certain kinship. You give a little and they give a little back - theoretically. You form a mutual bond that, ideally, warms to both. And it all works out great - in the beginning. Then people become selfish, as they have a right to be, and you get let down.
And that's not to say that I haven't let others down either - I think we all do this. But I try my hardest not to let others down because I know how bad it feels to be let down yourself.
Is this why we exalt people like Mother Teresa and the Dalai Lama? Because they so willingly give so much of themself and actually expect nothing in return? We all like to think we are that selfless...but we're not. We expect reciprocation, and when we don't get it, we are disappointed.
Perhaps that's the lesson of it all - you can be disappointed or you can just move on and be the bigger person. I think what's dragging me down now is that I've been the bigger person in so many instances that I'm sick of it. I want to ride freely on the low road for once and reap the benefits with none of the guts.
Maybe when I get out of school - it's always my mantra. Maybe when I get out of school I'll make the right decision and make friends who will give to me as much I to them. I feel like I am a great friend and, often, I get nothing in return. It happens, I know. Life is rough. But it's hard to imagine that there is nothing I deserve in return to all that I give to my friends.
People always let you down.