Summer
Ok, so Kev and I were just talking about this summer. He asked me if I think we're going to be ok this summer. I guess I never really thougth of it, I mean I thought we were going to be ok. I mean ya I know they're is going to be times wehre he's going out or whatever, but I guess I just thought that we were going to get to spend time together like we do now. I htought we'd go camping and on road trips, maybe go to the dells, chill out at the beach, go 4-wheeling, go fishing, go to camp, I mean I thought that this summer would be filled with fun times with each other. But then he starts talking about well what if I go out for like a whole week, and then I start saying stuff of the same nature, only difference is that I mean I dont WANT to go like more than like 3 days w/o seeing him, I mean he's my boyfriend, I dont want to go for days w/o seeing him. I'd like to look back and be able to be lke yea, i had a great summer with kev, not well i had an ok summer, but i didnt see kev that much..i mean summer is a time to go out and have fun and not worry bout school or snow or not being able to go here or there. I guess he just got me thinking now and it scares me. I mean he's never put me second in anything, and I dont want it to start now. And, then hes like well you said that this past summer wa sthe best summe of your life, and that was because I was partying, and hanging out w/friends, and just enjoying everything, and not spending anytime being mad or worrying about stupid stuff, and I mean that's what I want to do this summer, but I mean Kev is included in that. I mean I have so much fun when I am with Kevin, itsnot like I dont have fun when I'm not with him, but I mean when he is around me, I just enjoy laughing and hugging and cuddling with him, I just enjoy being with him. UHHHH..like seriously I dont even know what i"m thinking I just am scared to death that I am not going to be enough for Kevin to have fun with this summer, that even when he does spend time with me he's going to be looking forward to going out instead, that I am going to be just a burden rather than a fun time. I dont want to be that thing that holds him back and I never have wanted to be liek that. I want it to be ok for him to go out and I want it to be ok for him and I to go to different parties, and I want to keep on knowing that he wont' get tired of me, I mean it does scare me cause I know that he would never cheat on me, but I mean waht if he finds that "summer girl" that can like go everywhere with him, one that is beautiful and looks great in a bikini and enjoys drinking and doesnt have anything to do but chase boys and party all the time.....UUUUUUGHHHHHHGHHGHGHG..
Seroiusly I dont even know what to think. I never thought about this summer, I didnt think there'd be any problems, I didn't think about the idea that we'd fight or anything, I just thought that we'd have fun, go 4 wheeling, drink, hang out, whatever...I guess I never thought so far into it...
Should I have?????
Seroiusly I dont even know what to think. I never thought about this summer, I didnt think there'd be any problems, I didn't think about the idea that we'd fight or anything, I just thought that we'd have fun, go 4 wheeling, drink, hang out, whatever...I guess I never thought so far into it...
Should I have?????