(no subject)
so bleh. ive been so tired latley. today i was cranky and i dont know why. just everything seemed to be getting to me today. i think its just that ive had ALOT on my mind. thinking alot about my grandparents. and about how much i hate gary. and about going to the doctor. i think im more concerned about that than i should be but still for someone who is as broke as me and cant afford to see the doctor any old damn time i want and now i have them telling its important and i need to go, im concerned. i havent been getting enough sleep. my parents are going bankrupt and i feel worthless because i cant do anything to help them financially but yet they are always having me run errands for them when my time is stressed enough as is... between work and gabrielle and everything. just bleh. just so much on my mind and i am having a hard time coping with it all. i need to vent out some frustration in some way and i know ive been getting mad and i cant help it i have nothing i can do...
bleh i did like 5 loads of laundry at my moms house today and then got gabrielle her prize for the week for being good. and then went grocery shopping. so when i got home i had a ton of stuff to bring up the stairs into my apt. 2 baskets of laundry... and alot of bags of grocerys. it took 5 trips. and my neck and shoulders are already stiff and sore because im stressed out like crazy and now they hurt even more. i put everything away and that took awhile. gabrielle was so good too she tried to help me carry stuff and put stuff away. heh. and im in such a horrible mood i was yelling at her to get out of my way, jeez i feel pathetic. like im gonna break down and cry at any given moment. im hopeless. i miss cody and i know ive been kinda mean to him but i cant help it ive been that way to everyone and i feel bad afterwards but jeez... being stressed it hard. and it seems like im always there for everyone when they need someone to talk to but when im down i cant bring myself to talk to anyone about anything. i am pathetic. im going to go before i have a breakdown.
bleh i did like 5 loads of laundry at my moms house today and then got gabrielle her prize for the week for being good. and then went grocery shopping. so when i got home i had a ton of stuff to bring up the stairs into my apt. 2 baskets of laundry... and alot of bags of grocerys. it took 5 trips. and my neck and shoulders are already stiff and sore because im stressed out like crazy and now they hurt even more. i put everything away and that took awhile. gabrielle was so good too she tried to help me carry stuff and put stuff away. heh. and im in such a horrible mood i was yelling at her to get out of my way, jeez i feel pathetic. like im gonna break down and cry at any given moment. im hopeless. i miss cody and i know ive been kinda mean to him but i cant help it ive been that way to everyone and i feel bad afterwards but jeez... being stressed it hard. and it seems like im always there for everyone when they need someone to talk to but when im down i cant bring myself to talk to anyone about anything. i am pathetic. im going to go before i have a breakdown.