Stuff.
Mom woke me up at 3PM. Wanted me to go to the store with her and Amy to get groceries. I was dead tired and felt like shit so I declined. Went and laid on the couch and tried to sleep some more. My heart is pounding. I feel lightheaded. I'm making myself sick worrying about this mess. I've gone over in my head so many times how to find this prick. Thought and planned out how I'd hurt him. How I'd kill him. Keep seeing in my head what possibly happened to Amy. These images haunt me. Mom checked out a bunch of books about rape and sexual assault and how to protect yourself in your home. She checked out similar books after she found out what my dad was doing to me. I learned today that Amy was given shots so that she wouldn't get any STDs. Now she has a yeast infection. I hope she doesn't get anything. That would just kill me and mom. As far as I know she won't get pregnant. I think they did something that told them she wasn't or something. I didn't ask or anything. I can't talk about this shit. Can only write about it. Depressed as fuck. I've never felt so depressed without being suicidal. Never been so angry. I never wanna stop being angry though. I just want it toned down a bit. It's ok to be mad, but pondering ways to kill this sicko is bringing me down, and not healthy. Ms. Davis hasn't emailed me back. Must not be on the computer. She's the one person I coud probably sit down and talk to. She's my best friend. I need her now, and she doesn't even know it yet. But she will. I've got other people helping me out now, even though I'll never see them in person. I'm just lucky I guess. Ok I'm gonna go. Later bitches.