a new me, new life, new day, last year of life

[twiztedklown]

YOU know we all reach a point in our lives where we move on and i not going into details. I am back at home and i know its for the best but i can help thinking bout where i would be now and then with my old relationship. Whenever i am in lafayette i usually stop by the recruiting depot for army marines navy airforce. i look at it as a way to escape and start my life a complete new. and have a change of style. these past few weeks or so have been oooo so long i just need to escape my past my life and be someone new grow up be who I am and not who people want ME to BE. no one has ever accepted me for who i am and i doubt that anyone ever will. people in the past tell people that they hate me dont like me around. and i find out and they are all nice to me when im there but as soon as i leave i get talked about behind my back.i guess i am just that guy that does the dumb things and will always be that guy who has no true friends and will never be happy. i dont know all the the trends and i dont really care. I am an oldskool guy life my life by old time stuff like that people look at me and are pressuring me to do shit that isnt me. i work and try to make money but i say fuck it.. life is suppose to be enjoying not hated. I doubt ill ever find anyone that will ever like me or infact want to be my true friend that would be there for me when i need help. i am alwyays there for the people that need help but when i ask for help everyone turns a blind eye or doesnt even try to help me out. i dont understand why i am even writing this. its not like anyone will reply to this. bt its just on my mind and i need to git it off my back. i still have to shower and eat then head to work. yeah!!! work (sigh).. i dont understand why life can be simple and easy. In the past few months i have learned if you got money you got it made you got a relationship made cuz you can take em out and do things with the one you care about. i found that out the hard way. i sometimes talk to my buddy and ask him wonder who would sho up to my funeral.. and he says he would but i know he would cuz hes been there for me and i have been there for him. but if you think about it who would be at the funeral. people that say that they are your friends would be like oo that kids dead...... and keep going on with their lives. Life is not something that people cant through away. and i do it cuz my life isnt all that important. if you truely think about it i never get shit on this thing yet i still check.. i guess i am just a lonely, lost, little boy in a adult world. no one really cares what happens to me why when how or where it happens doesnt really matter. well if anyone reads this thanks input would be great email me at rasta_pasta69@yahoo.com if you ever wanna talk one on one.
peace david