(no subject)
I’m sitting there again, silently waiting. I don’t know what I’m waiting for, or why I sit here, day after day. Watching the people as they pass by, watching them flit from one place to another. Their worlds are hurried, their lives are rushed. They pass by things without even acknowledging them. They pass by me and they do not even notice. I can even get to know these people, learning about them by how they do the most simple things. I know that the woman next to me is about to be a mother, yet I can also tell that the child will not have a father as it grows.
She winces every time her fingers pass over her swollen belly.
It’s strange though, how the human mind works. For while some of these people think they have it the worst, while they sit there and mourn over the simple things that they have lost, then will never notice those around them. Those who are going through the exact same things, those who could relate to them.
Those who could help.
Humans are not always social creatures. Some of us are built differently; created to live alone. I’m one of the solitary people, I’m one of the few who can be perfectly happy with nothing and nobody, I’m one of the few who can live without love; without the comfort of touch, and without someone to hold me and stroke back my hair.
I lived like that at first, I was like any other person. My mother would shush me when I cried, she would smother me with kisses and sing to me at night when I could not sleep. My fear of the monsters that showed up in the strangest places, the simple monsters that only I could see. I knew they would get her though, because these monsters like to torture me. They take away the things I love, the things I want more than anything else. These monsters take it all away from me, and do not allow me the things I need most.
These monsters are my friends.
There is no love in this world anymore, as I sit and watch I see nothing but people who are only interested in one thing, themselves. Few every notice me, and even fewer actually meet my gaze, but when they do, I see nothing but coldness, and the hatred they have for me, and my kind.
They fear me.
And what have I done to them to deserve it? Nothing.
I simply sit here, tapping my fingers against the rough surface of the worn bench that I sit. Watching people as they bustle through the streets.
I only watch, I only wait.
For something that will not come.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers.
She winces every time her fingers pass over her swollen belly.
It’s strange though, how the human mind works. For while some of these people think they have it the worst, while they sit there and mourn over the simple things that they have lost, then will never notice those around them. Those who are going through the exact same things, those who could relate to them.
Those who could help.
Humans are not always social creatures. Some of us are built differently; created to live alone. I’m one of the solitary people, I’m one of the few who can be perfectly happy with nothing and nobody, I’m one of the few who can live without love; without the comfort of touch, and without someone to hold me and stroke back my hair.
I lived like that at first, I was like any other person. My mother would shush me when I cried, she would smother me with kisses and sing to me at night when I could not sleep. My fear of the monsters that showed up in the strangest places, the simple monsters that only I could see. I knew they would get her though, because these monsters like to torture me. They take away the things I love, the things I want more than anything else. These monsters take it all away from me, and do not allow me the things I need most.
These monsters are my friends.
There is no love in this world anymore, as I sit and watch I see nothing but people who are only interested in one thing, themselves. Few every notice me, and even fewer actually meet my gaze, but when they do, I see nothing but coldness, and the hatred they have for me, and my kind.
They fear me.
And what have I done to them to deserve it? Nothing.
I simply sit here, tapping my fingers against the rough surface of the worn bench that I sit. Watching people as they bustle through the streets.
I only watch, I only wait.
For something that will not come.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers.