I found this on the other computer
Allen emo fic. Like. Really emo. With a dash of suicide and Noah.
---
Allen walked dejectedly through the dark silent halls of the new Headquarters. He had managed to slip away from Link using the powers of the 14th and now he wasn't sure what he was doing.
Central had been worse lately, not like they had ever been kind in the first place, but it seemed like they had moved him from the category of 'potential threat' to 'dangerous animal.' They had tried upping the security but Komui had somehow managed to deflect it, and now they just wouldn't let him go on missions.
He had been feeling depressed lately, and though Link may have noticed no one else really did because they had been so busy. Even having just one Exorcist unable to go out on the field made things so much more difficult, especially since General Cross had vanished, presumably dead.
Sure they got another Exorcist, but Timothy was just a child and not much use in the field. It also tied up General Tiodell because he was training the boy. All in all the war was not looking up for their side.
Allen wandered into a room, looking for a place to just sit, and discovered it was an old examination room. He almost chuckled. Even in a new building there was still evidence of things that had happened in the old HQ. Well, he supposed that if they said everything had to be moved everything had to be moved.
He sat on one of the examination tables, looking around the dimly lit room. There really wasn't much there. The bed, a small rolling table with a few surgical tools on it, some drawers and a cupboard with clear windows that showed vials and jars on the shelves.
Sighing, Allen closed his eyes letting his thoughts run wild. They had been getting more and more depressing lately and he mused over the things that had happened and what made him re-think his views. Mana, Cross, The 14th and how they all fit together to make one large skewed picture.
It had started with Cross and his revelation about how Allen of all people was going to become a Noah. A Noah. The idea was almost so absurd it was laughable, but the seriousness of it presented itself in any reflective surface. There were also the blackouts and the scar across his torso from his own sword.
Looking back on that particular predicament Allen was reminded of the only other time he had been able to damage someone with the sword. It had been meant to 'purify' the Noah from a person, but instead it had awakened it in Tyki. Allen wondered if he had done the same thing to himself. If the shock of almost being erased made it try to make itself more clear, more able.
Allen chuckled humorlessly as he thought about his future. Whatever it was. If there was even one to look at. Turn into the 14th and kill his friends. Stay an Exorcist under suspicion forever. Try to run away.
That last thought had been occurring more lately. He could, if he really wanted, get on the Ark, kick off anyone who happened to be on, close all the Doors and be there forever. Though then he would be trapped with himself, trapped with his thoughts. If he did transform into the 14th no one would be there to hurt, but he wasn't sure if he would be in control of himself. That way he could possibly end up doing things he would regret if he ever got in control again.
Or...or there was a less literal way of running away. He looked over at the scalpel he had noticed earlier on the tray and then glanced at his non-innocence laden arm. Mana had told him to keep walking. He hadn't mentioned anywhere specific so Allen could just walk right into death and still follow what the man who had been the closest thing he knew to a father had said.
Allen smiled, a slight glaze coming over his eyes, and picked up the scalpel.
---
Kanda cursed steadily under his breath as he stalked through the halls. Stupid bean sprout. Why couldn't he just stay where he was supposed to? Kanda was already pissed that his workload was higher with that moron not able to go on missions. With him not going out he didn't think it would have made much difference if he was dead.
"Fucking runt, where are you?" he muttered and slowed his pace when he thought he heard a sigh and incomprehensible murmur from one of the rooms he just passed.
Turning around slowly, he didn't like to backtrack, he walked back and looked into the room. He blinked once, not quite sure if he was seeing what was inside correctly, and then he stopped to take it all in.
He had found Allen, though he didn't really recognize the boy under all the blood. His cursed eye was missing, presumably the bloody ball on the examination bed. The boys arms were red, slick with blood and there he was holding a scalpel up to his throat.
When Allen saw the other teen he lowered the scalpel for a moment and smiled. "Well at least they won't have to look for me long."
Kanda looked the boy over, not really seeing how he could stop him, not that he really wanted to. He had figured that out long ago, and it wasn't like he would care if the boy vanished. Sure the Ark would go away and it would take longer to go on missions again, but that was irrelevant.
Seeing that the teen wasn't going to reply to him he just shook his head with a smile, blood dripping off his chin in steady drops as he raised his hand again.
Allen put the scalpel up to his neck for the last time and turned to look at Kanda. "You know, I never really hated you."
Kanda shifted under the gaze. It wasn't that someone was looking at him like that, it was that the stupid runt was looking at him like that. It was not the sort of expression he should have, and it seemed like he was waiting for something.
"Yeah, so?" he managed to say nonchalantly.
Allen smiled sadly, "I just thought you'd like to know." and with that he dug in the scalpel with a slight cough, blood flecking out, and drug it across his throat.
He didn't collapse right away, it was more of a stumble as he fell to the ground, his lifeblood spilling quickly on the cold stone floor creating a puddle of dark red liquid. Kanda hadn't moved, was still seemingly impassive to the spectacle in front of him as Allen twitched on the floor for a few more minutes before his eyes clouded over. With one last breath, bubbles forming in the blood Allen died.
Without a word Kanda turned around and walked out of the room.
---
It took an entire day for Kanda to tell anyone that he had found Allen. They panicked when he told them what had happened and rushed him to take them to the room. Maybe he had been mistaken, maybe their Exorcist was still alive.
Kanda knew better though. He knew when someone was dead.
Leading them to the room he pointed at it as he got to it and walked away, they had interrupted his breakfast and he wasn't at all pleased and wanted to get back to it.
He stopped though when he heard them exclaim in shock, and not the shock of finding a dead body. It was more like the exclamation of not finding a dead body. And that was exactly it.
Allens corpse was gone. The eye was still on the bed, the blood still on the floor, the scalpel still where it had fallen. Everyone was in confusion and shock.
They didn't notice when a dark form walked up behind them, only Kanda could see it. See him.
The others only noticed the laughter, the smile, the blood when it was over.
Kanda watched silently as Allen, no, The Fourteenth walked slowly past him, turning to him with a smile for a moment before going higher in the Order to find more people.
He had his goal. He had his sacrifice. He had himself.
---
End
---
Allen walked dejectedly through the dark silent halls of the new Headquarters. He had managed to slip away from Link using the powers of the 14th and now he wasn't sure what he was doing.
Central had been worse lately, not like they had ever been kind in the first place, but it seemed like they had moved him from the category of 'potential threat' to 'dangerous animal.' They had tried upping the security but Komui had somehow managed to deflect it, and now they just wouldn't let him go on missions.
He had been feeling depressed lately, and though Link may have noticed no one else really did because they had been so busy. Even having just one Exorcist unable to go out on the field made things so much more difficult, especially since General Cross had vanished, presumably dead.
Sure they got another Exorcist, but Timothy was just a child and not much use in the field. It also tied up General Tiodell because he was training the boy. All in all the war was not looking up for their side.
Allen wandered into a room, looking for a place to just sit, and discovered it was an old examination room. He almost chuckled. Even in a new building there was still evidence of things that had happened in the old HQ. Well, he supposed that if they said everything had to be moved everything had to be moved.
He sat on one of the examination tables, looking around the dimly lit room. There really wasn't much there. The bed, a small rolling table with a few surgical tools on it, some drawers and a cupboard with clear windows that showed vials and jars on the shelves.
Sighing, Allen closed his eyes letting his thoughts run wild. They had been getting more and more depressing lately and he mused over the things that had happened and what made him re-think his views. Mana, Cross, The 14th and how they all fit together to make one large skewed picture.
It had started with Cross and his revelation about how Allen of all people was going to become a Noah. A Noah. The idea was almost so absurd it was laughable, but the seriousness of it presented itself in any reflective surface. There were also the blackouts and the scar across his torso from his own sword.
Looking back on that particular predicament Allen was reminded of the only other time he had been able to damage someone with the sword. It had been meant to 'purify' the Noah from a person, but instead it had awakened it in Tyki. Allen wondered if he had done the same thing to himself. If the shock of almost being erased made it try to make itself more clear, more able.
Allen chuckled humorlessly as he thought about his future. Whatever it was. If there was even one to look at. Turn into the 14th and kill his friends. Stay an Exorcist under suspicion forever. Try to run away.
That last thought had been occurring more lately. He could, if he really wanted, get on the Ark, kick off anyone who happened to be on, close all the Doors and be there forever. Though then he would be trapped with himself, trapped with his thoughts. If he did transform into the 14th no one would be there to hurt, but he wasn't sure if he would be in control of himself. That way he could possibly end up doing things he would regret if he ever got in control again.
Or...or there was a less literal way of running away. He looked over at the scalpel he had noticed earlier on the tray and then glanced at his non-innocence laden arm. Mana had told him to keep walking. He hadn't mentioned anywhere specific so Allen could just walk right into death and still follow what the man who had been the closest thing he knew to a father had said.
Allen smiled, a slight glaze coming over his eyes, and picked up the scalpel.
---
Kanda cursed steadily under his breath as he stalked through the halls. Stupid bean sprout. Why couldn't he just stay where he was supposed to? Kanda was already pissed that his workload was higher with that moron not able to go on missions. With him not going out he didn't think it would have made much difference if he was dead.
"Fucking runt, where are you?" he muttered and slowed his pace when he thought he heard a sigh and incomprehensible murmur from one of the rooms he just passed.
Turning around slowly, he didn't like to backtrack, he walked back and looked into the room. He blinked once, not quite sure if he was seeing what was inside correctly, and then he stopped to take it all in.
He had found Allen, though he didn't really recognize the boy under all the blood. His cursed eye was missing, presumably the bloody ball on the examination bed. The boys arms were red, slick with blood and there he was holding a scalpel up to his throat.
When Allen saw the other teen he lowered the scalpel for a moment and smiled. "Well at least they won't have to look for me long."
Kanda looked the boy over, not really seeing how he could stop him, not that he really wanted to. He had figured that out long ago, and it wasn't like he would care if the boy vanished. Sure the Ark would go away and it would take longer to go on missions again, but that was irrelevant.
Seeing that the teen wasn't going to reply to him he just shook his head with a smile, blood dripping off his chin in steady drops as he raised his hand again.
Allen put the scalpel up to his neck for the last time and turned to look at Kanda. "You know, I never really hated you."
Kanda shifted under the gaze. It wasn't that someone was looking at him like that, it was that the stupid runt was looking at him like that. It was not the sort of expression he should have, and it seemed like he was waiting for something.
"Yeah, so?" he managed to say nonchalantly.
Allen smiled sadly, "I just thought you'd like to know." and with that he dug in the scalpel with a slight cough, blood flecking out, and drug it across his throat.
He didn't collapse right away, it was more of a stumble as he fell to the ground, his lifeblood spilling quickly on the cold stone floor creating a puddle of dark red liquid. Kanda hadn't moved, was still seemingly impassive to the spectacle in front of him as Allen twitched on the floor for a few more minutes before his eyes clouded over. With one last breath, bubbles forming in the blood Allen died.
Without a word Kanda turned around and walked out of the room.
---
It took an entire day for Kanda to tell anyone that he had found Allen. They panicked when he told them what had happened and rushed him to take them to the room. Maybe he had been mistaken, maybe their Exorcist was still alive.
Kanda knew better though. He knew when someone was dead.
Leading them to the room he pointed at it as he got to it and walked away, they had interrupted his breakfast and he wasn't at all pleased and wanted to get back to it.
He stopped though when he heard them exclaim in shock, and not the shock of finding a dead body. It was more like the exclamation of not finding a dead body. And that was exactly it.
Allens corpse was gone. The eye was still on the bed, the blood still on the floor, the scalpel still where it had fallen. Everyone was in confusion and shock.
They didn't notice when a dark form walked up behind them, only Kanda could see it. See him.
The others only noticed the laughter, the smile, the blood when it was over.
Kanda watched silently as Allen, no, The Fourteenth walked slowly past him, turning to him with a smile for a moment before going higher in the Order to find more people.
He had his goal. He had his sacrifice. He had himself.
---
End