sooo confussseeddd
I was walking home at 10:30 last night in a skirt and tank top....in BOSTON...in APRIL. I feel like the weather is very symbolic of me right now. Just a little bit off. Anchor Splash is done, finally, and I think it went rather well. But, now that it's over, I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself. Marathon Monday was a drunken fun-fest. And, this weekend, Carlos comes and we have the DG spring formal. But, after that, I feel like what is next. I have FINALS which there is a lot more pressure on this year because I haven't been exactly scholastic this semester...and then summer - which I have NO IDEA what I'm doing. This whole semester has been kind of narrow minded on my part now that i think about it. The beginning was all about this person in my life I honestly thought I couldn't live without. I cried many nights and acted like a TOTAL GIRL. Now, it's all coming to an end and, OF COURSE, I question everything. I don't think I want to be home all summer. I mean I want to be in California, but not at home and certainly not in Sacramento surrounded by obscure family members, not being able to communicate, and constantly being surrounded by tequila and corona. I mean maybe I do...maybe I'm just wanting to be disastisfied with everything. I just don't want to make a mistake. But I also want to be happy....at least satisfied with my life. I have 3 weeks left here and I want to enjoy it all.