(no subject)
Alrightyroo. A bunch of hilarious stuff happened today and yesterday, but it would take forever to put all that together, so today will be prominently featured and I'll occassionally throw in crap about yesterday. (THE SEQUENCE! The neurotic autist in me suffers.)
This morning in chorus, Nabors pretty much decided he just . . . wasn't going to come. So Mr. Webb came in, and FIRST THING HE SAID was, "You guys get to watch me dress." That is pretty gross. But then he let Megan and I leave, and we pretended we were . . . flying dinosaurs? Really we just lurched about and flapped our arms and talked up all the goss' (Katers actually calls it this. It would be sickening from anyone else, but it's Kate, so we let it slide. Because it's Kate, who got fired for letting feral kittens escape from the animal shelter, and often wakes up in the arms of a man named Flo. This is the longest paranthetic notation ever. I'm going to go back to whatever I was talking about now.) in the gazeba. Then we said the word gubernaculum about eighteen hundred times and talked up some more goss'. It was pretty much the morning o' gubernaculum. It was, in fact, bloody gubernaculous. (It is an adjective now. I will get it in a dictionary to preserve my sanity.)
On the way to Japanese with the teacher and her six breasts, I ran into Sarah who informed me Mr. Drago thought I was her. Speaking of Drago, I got callbacks for Monday. It is very exciting, though I know if I get cast I will be cast as the crotchety maid. I am very appreciative of the crotchety maid position.
So in Japanese with the teacher and her six breasts, I first and foremost picked on Karl (my favourite game ever) and then we watched Adam and Joe Go Tokyo which begins with two British men in strange outfits running through the streets of Tokyo, and when they finally meet, the following conversation ensues:
"Are you using new conditioner?"
"Why, yes!"
*DRAMATIC HEAD-SWISH*
It was really cool. They interviewed these weird people, most of whom are short, hyperactive Japanese men.
First they talk to the (Fish) Kun! That means fishman. He is a guy with an obtrusive hat in the shape of a pufferfish. He does not take it off. Not even in the shower, I promise. He's the single most excitable person ever.
Adam/Joe: So, when did you become interested in fish?
FISHMAN!: IN THE EIGHTH GRADE! MY FRIEND! DREW A PICTURE OF AN OCTOPUS ON MY NOTEBOOK!!!!! AND I WAS LIKE OOOOOHH, WHAT IS THAT!!?!?!?!?!?!
You can literally hear the bold and italics in his voice. He has the most ridiculously high-pitched voice, too, so it is like a high-pitched Pickens on crack.
Joe: *Dons a hat shaped like a shark*
FISHMAN: OOOOH!!!! JAWS!!!!
Joe: D'you like my hat, then?
FISHMAN: IT IS SO WONDERFUL!!! CAN I HAVE IT?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Joe: If you win the contest you can. So, they say you can identify any fish by simply tasting it.
FISHMAN!! hops about excitedly at this point and babbles unintelligibly in Japanese. So, they feed him some fish and ask him to draw it. He draws this elaborate picture then babbles on high-pitchedly in Japanese about how when the fish are less than twenty-four centimetres, they have stripes, and how as babies they look like bulldogs, and a bazillion other things. Meanwhile, Joe is drawing a picture of a filthy hippy from Phish to say what he thinks the fish is. Suddenly, FISHMAN!! shouts "GRUNT!!!! GRUNT GRUNT!! GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT!!" Indeed, 'tis the name of the fish. He won his hat.
Also included in this interesting video was the man who invented a game called GETS! Ask me, and I will demonstrate the gets-ing for you. It is the most entertaining thing ever, as the guy said, "One night, God came down to me at my bed and said, 'Tomorrow you have to say "GETS!" and point, like this.'" And the guy points. "The next day, I go on my show, and I say 'GETS!' and point, and then I did a small turn, like this." And he demonstrates. It's brilliant. In addition, there was a dance group composed of retired fat men with Jafros (TM Erin), and a crazed inventor of, 'nonsense' who had made a carp harp. That is right. A Carp Harp. Because he often has nightmares about fish. I often have nightmares about FISHMAN!
Fascinating sidenote: the Japanese teacher owns a pair of gets-ing hands. She said she would bring them in. Gets-ing hands are basically giant plastic Mickey Mouse looking hands with the pointer finger extended. I need a pair. For whapping people.
Math was boring loring zoring why haven't you changed the channel yet, but I got a ninety-eight on my test. Fuck yeah.
In Civics I got in a brilliant debate with Betsy over the war in Iraq, during which I was told that if I didn't agree with the government, I could go live in Canada and become a socialist. I totally beasted, and the class applauded. In a fashion similar to, "NOW THASSA LAWYAH!" boy, a kid in the back of the class shouts, "THAT WAS DEEP!!" People are awesome. Later in the class, Zack ('I look like a piece of crap' Zack, not Buzzi McFaggerson Zack) suddenly shouted, "I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND!" Apparently DeMarcus had asked him if he had a boyfriend? He then went on to say, "Well, who's your boyfriend?!"
DeMarcus: "Cliff."
Zack: "Have you put out your tape, yet?"
At this point, Cliff, who is the BIGGEST HOMOPHOBE EVER suddenly begins shouting, "THAT IS OBSCENE! MS. MARTINO! THIS IS TOTALLY OBSCENE!" It was bloody hilarious.
After Chemistry, as I was entering the toilets, this girl from my Civics class approaches me and goes, "Man that debate you had with Betsy was awesome!"
"Thanks."
"I mean, I had no idea what you were talking about, but . . . "
"Heh. *nervous laugh*"
We then enter our respective stalls, and as soon as her door clicks, I hear, "LA CUCARACHA! LA CUCARACHA! NAH NAH NAHNAHNAHNAHNAH NAH!!!" For the ENTIRE DURATION of my toilet-time. It wasn't even subtle cockroach-singing. Oh hell no, this was loud enough that you could hear it in the classroom next door. It was the most bizarre thing ever.
Lunch was tragic, as I purchased a turkey sandwich, thinking there would be minimal turkey, so I could give the meats to Audge and eat the rest myself. Alas, for I was wrong. There were three lettuce shreds, half a slice of slimy tomato, and literally half a pound of turkey. It was mad gross. Aye nearly spilled Pepsi all over me, and Kate told us a story about how her brother has to get some stuff attached to him because he's lost twelve IQ points since the age of six or some such. Aye also thinks my bag is her child. I am taking it away from her the next time she starts to pet it.
For English we were supposed to go to the library. I forgot, went all the way up to the trailers, and had to RUN to the library. I came in panting, glaring, and sweating all over the table. Gina goes, "That's hot. You should put that on a CD or something." I love Gina, but she got a nasty NASTY look from me. Ms. Lewis: jabbity jabbity JAB JAB JAB. Gavin and I had an involved discussion about how goth the entire world is (and how Gina is the gothest of them all). Garrett showed us all a website involving George Washington and his repertoire as a buttfucker extraordinaire. Really. http://uncyclopedia.com
In Latin, Eli blurted out, "I WANT A JUICE BOX!" Dr. Smith, "What on earth is a juice box?!" She did not know what a juice box is. Totally serious. It was the scariest thing ever. I decided to explain. "It is a cardboard cube . . . " "Rectangular prism!" Zandra interjects. "Yes, that. And the inside is covered with foil, and the outside is covered in wax, and its full of highly processed juice, and you stick a straw through a circular foil bit at the top and . . . that actually sounds really gross, doesn't it?" It did. Ian drew a helpful diagram, including the phrase 'DRINK HERE. NOT HERE. OR HERE.' Then we discussed the straws. "They come shrink wrapped, with glue on the back, and then the glue kind of tears the label off the box, which is depressing." "OH MY GOD I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!!!" interjects some random chick with voracious passion. Dr. Smith actually has decided to let us have juice boxes for the rest of the year if it will help us learn better and shut us up. She RULES.
Auditions after school were boring loring zoring why haven't you changed the channel yet, but Katie did really well (BY THE BY YOU HAVE A CALLBACK FOR MONDAY, KATIE.) and I suppose I did okay, too, because I also got one.
Then I hung out with Kitt, Alex, and Buzzi. We pretty much ate everything in sight, then resolved to put on crazy makeup (really just me and Kitt) and go hunt frosh, as is our Friday tradition. We went into the Lumina to bug Buzzi's coworkers, and this one girl was apparently making fun of us, but I couldn't tell (her voice was totally normal). Kitt, afterwards, told me, and then said, "You should ask people, like if you miss that someone's making fun of you." "But . . . I don't know I'm missing it. So you just have to tell me."
There were no frosh, but there was this one really drunk girl. Really freakin' drunk.
"Did I throw up?"
"Twice."
"Oh . . . *collapses in nearest lap*"
Part of it was probably faking, but it was a little scary.
We went down the the playground, and Kitt sang loudly, and I croaked (I have been coughing up blood ever since my two point five hour asthma attack Thursday night), and we all played on the swings. Then we went back to Kitt's house and watched Rita coverage with her mum. It was hilarious, just because Anderson Cooper is the worst news guy.
Important sidenote: I hate this ad:
Because that guy looks like a VAMPIRE VAMPIRE VAMPIRE (yes, I added the helpful caption).
Away Message of the Day:
Leopard: I'm performing the painting while wearing leopard-print undies ritual.
Basics: I feel like crap.
Details: Unable to attend work Saturday, Carrboro Music Festival Sunday.
Symptoms: Coughing up blood and snot, have lost voice, high fever, chills.
In other news, I made myself another, CHEER THE FUCK UP-type disc. Here's the tracklist, since I know you all care so much. I'm also willing to make copies of it for anyone interested.
I am a Genius; Similarly: That is Bollocks
1) The Thermals - No Culture Icons
More coloured liquid/no scent, no sin/more stained paper/more parts per million
http://www.thethermals.com/mp3s.html
2) Now It's Overhead - Hold Your Spin
You're the runaway/Were you born sideways/Did you rotate/And to hold your spin/Unafraid
http://www.nowitsoverhead.com/
3) Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
Now how I remember you/How I would push my fingers through/Your mouth to make those muscles move/That made your voice so smooth and sweet
http://neutralmilkhotel.net/
4) Wolf Parade - (You Are a Runner and I am my) Father's Son
I'll build a house inside of you/I'll go in through your mouth/I'll draw three figures on your heart/One of them will be me as a boy/And one of them will be me/And one of them will be me watching you run
http://www.subpop.com/scripts/main/bands_page.php?id=438
5) Bright Eyes - Lover I Don't Have to Love
I want a lover I don't have to love/I want a boy so drunk he doesn't talk
http://www.saddle-creek.com/home.html
6) Beep Beep - Misuse Their Bodies
You are safe for now/Some day the story will unfold/Until then you have to live with yourself/Press your lips to the cross
http://www.ilovebeepbeep.com/
7) Cursive - The Martyr
Sweet baby don't cry/Your tears are only alibis
http://www.cursivearmy.com/03/home.html
8) Desaparecidos - The Happiest Place on Earth
Opportunity, no, it don't exist/It's the opiate of the populace/We need some harder shit now/The truth's getting out/Every public school is a halfway house
http://www.saddle-creek.com/html/desa_frame.html
9) Evil Wiener - Black Cat
You ain't nothing but bad luck/Get out of my path
http://www.evilwienerworld.com/music.html
10) Troy's Bucket (CA) - I Never Thought
Listen up to all I have to say/I will, oh oh/Everything will be okay/I'll make the world turn around for us
http://myspace.com/troysbucket
11) Troy's Bucket (AZ) - Walking Backwards
I, I run out of things to say/And you, you've been no help/Why does it seem so fake/When you're all in it for yourselves?
http://www.myspace.com/fiveironfrenzyisawesome
12) Iron & Wine - Woman King
Blackbird glow/Raven wing/Under the red sun/My long closed mind/Two shirt sleeves/Waving as we go/A hundred years, hundred more/Some day we may see/A woman king/Sword in hand/Swing at some evil
http://subpop.com/scripts/main/bands_page.php?id=403
13) Sleater-Kinney - Jumpers
My falling shape will draw a line/Between the blue of sea and sky/I'm not a bird, I'm not a plane
http://www.sleater-kinney.com/index2.php
14) Catherine Zeta-Jones et al. - Cell Block Tango
You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic
I don't have a site for this, but you all probably know it anyways.
15) The Good Life - Notes in His Pockets
She's gotta drop the axe/Catch him in the act/With the shame around his ankles/And the guilt around his neck
http://www.saddle-creek.com/html/goodlife_frame.html
16) Paramore - Hallelujah
Holding on to patience wearing thin/I can't force these eys to see the end
http://www.paramore.net/
17) The Postal Service - We Will Become Silhouettes
Because the air outside will make/Our cells divide at an alarming rate/Until our shells simply cannot hold all our insides in/And that's when we'll explode/(And it won't be a pretty sight)
http://www.subpop.com/bands/postalservice/
18) Tegan and Sara - My Number
It's a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown/It's a silly time to learn to swim when you're going down
http://www.teganandsara.com/index.php
19) Cave In - Joy Opposites
He loves to hate/She hates to love/Lonely above/His dirty mind/Hers just stays clean/And sober
http://www.cavein.net/
20) Drew - To the Aiplane
Go ahead and waste the day/There's no one watching anyway/And no one left to tell you what you'll be if you grow up
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/music.php
21) Rosie Thomas - Pretty Dress
They'll be cruel/Cover up your ears and don't cry/'Cause you'll know much better than them/Some day
http://www.rosiethomas.com/
Yeah, so today I was watching America's Next Top Model with my mom, and there's this lesbian on there, Kim, and I say, "She's cool." My mother turns to me and says, "You should just get out with it already and tell me you're a lesbian." "I'M NOT A LESBIAN!!!"
Cor, my mother . . .
Away Message of the Day:
Like Bunnies: "You've never heard the expression 'shagging like bunnies'? Perfectly natural."
"But I'm thinking about the shagging part, and you're thinking about the bunny part. That's not right."
I made the play!!! That is my only interesting news for today.
Otherwise: I feel mostly like crap. Finally convinced my mom to purchase me some cough drops of many deliciousnesses. They are . . . of many deliciousnesses.
Today was a semi-lesbo dedicated day. In choir this morning Megan and I spent pretty much the entire time standing around going, "Llllllllllesbians" in a drawn out manner. Then discussing lesbian-related stuff as people stared at us oddly. Whoooooooo.
Pretty much the rest of the day was boring loring goring zoring why haven't you changed the channel yet until Latin, where we played Trasketball. (Three cheers, everyone.) Latin is somehow even more hysterical now that Dr. Smith has moved Louisa and Kate across the room. In Louisa's old seat now sits this kid Eli, who is pretty much the most fun to pick on ever. Ian and I spent the entire class forging a, "British-Scottish alliance" (Dr. Smith's words.) against Eli, who does not have a country. There is this kid who sits behind him and spends all class laughing whenever Ian prods Eli or messes with his stuff or makes a comment in a high-pitched voice. He is Switzerland, a.k.a. the Helvetians, makers of fine cheese and chocolate since wheneveryear.
Anyways, we played Trasketball and my team was Team Lesbos (We've had this lesson before. After me, everyone: "lez-boss".) and the other team was Team Sardes (a less-awesome island). And we won. So I got to write LESBOS WIN! on the board. Seeing as how I have the maturity of a five year old, this sent me into fits of laughter.
Also, I said the word 'wanker' in class today, and this one girl asked me what it meant, and I said, "Pretty much arsehole, but also one who wanks." She asked what wanking was, and I did not have the heart to tell her, nor did anyone else who knows what the word means. It was pretty unfortunate.
I spend pretty much all day doodling pretty much the same guy in all my notebooks.
I case any of you were wondering (you weren't), that thing all of those kids are holding is the Japanese character "Wa". Because the memory device is, "Wa is a wand." I need help, probably.
Away Message of the Day:
LOL: '"And Remus Lupin and Sirius Black are officially married. I believe it's Remus Black now, which I somewhat regret, because I find Sirius Lupin (Seriously Loopin') a hilarious name."
--This Sims Thing.
Excuse me while I go piss myself laughing.'
I don't really get that one anymore, but it was absolutely the MOST HYSTERICAL THING EVER when I first read it, I suppose.
My (four-foot-nine hyperactive Asian) Civics teacher today was talking about Federalists and Anti-Federalists . . .
"Anti-Federalists are composed of people like small farmers, and frontiersmen . . . that's people who live way out in the country, like on the range . . . " AND THEN SHE BEGINS TO SING WHILE BOBBLING BACK AND FORTH. ". . . where the deer and the buffallo roam . . . " The entire class stares at her and laughs nervously. "What, haven't you ever heard that song? And nowhere is heard, a discouraging word . . . " AND SHE JUST KEEPS GOING! Conclusion: My Civics teacher is some sort of sociopath.
Today in Chemistry we lit things on fire, and it was very pretty. They were pretty much mini fireworks shows and blue-green flames, except for this one thing-- magnesium metal. It lit up like a STROBE LIGHT. It was amazingly bright and GORGEOUS. Simply amazing.
During lunch, some scene kids strode past and said to Brie, "Heeeeeey big-boobed sophmore." Then the largest o' the scene kids proceeded to stand at the top of the stares and wobble while half-singing, "You've got big boooobs, you've got big boooobs." I nearly pissed myself.
Latin was, as is typical, hilarious. Today Ian and I made Frankenstein noises until Dr. Smith threatened to break out the duct tape. This one girl beaned Ian with the trasketball ball, and her face, 'just LIT UP!' I assume like a Christmas tree. Later Dr. Smith was describing an idiom which means 'get help'. " . . . For example, if your town was on fire, or your classroom were being assuaged with Frankensteins." Cue Frankensteinal groaning.
Away Message of the Day:
Loom: I loom. In a short way, Jesus, stop being picky. You can still be under five-eight and loom, can't you? You just have to pick your moments--when you're on steps, or the other person is in a ditch, or something.
I spent most of today drawing doodles of mangoes in superhero costumes.
I was busily drawing these lovely . . . creatures during Japanese, and I turn to Karl and ask him if he knows of any superheroes.
"Um . . . The Flash?"
"What does The Flash look like?"
"Dunno."
"Guess he's naked, then. Since he's The Flash."
During choir, we had an involved discussion about how frustrating it must be for Tyrannosaurus Rexes (Tyrannosauri Rex?) to wank. Teeny arms, you see. And imagine being the GIRL T-Rex . . . Yeah, that's what I thought.
Pretty much every day I am reminded of why I do not deserve a scanner by any stretch of the imagination.
ETA: Why Greg is possibly the most oddly hilarious kid in the entire world:
Auto response from Twitch: He stood in a hurry, folded the paper (to hide fourteen doodles of mangoes in wizarding superhero costumes) and bounded into the hall.
LifeIsGood169: only to find lord voldemort directly infront of him.
LifeIsGood169: He Dashed right. Although, sadly he ran right into a couple of lockers. He quickly fainted to the floor. Three long hours past, as the witches and wizards gathered around Harry Potters body. Finally, Harry woke. He squiggled and squired as though he was trying to leap to his feet, until he realized, Lord Voldemort had cut off his legs.
LifeIsGood169: He looked to his left..... There was snape (pronounced "Snap" according to my dad) twirling Harry's legs around in the air, like helecopter blades. "Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh." Harry then looked right. It was Hermiony beside him. Her body lay limp, as a starved and beaten dog. He could not take anymore. Voldimort had taken what had meant most to him. Harry drop his wand and closed his eyes as death drew toward his destiny. His soul floated into the air toward the everlasting images of his mother and father. They were reunited at last. The end.
P.S. It's your turn.... Make up a story... lol
Away Message of the Day:
Love and Hate: Why I hate people: " I think all war could be over if people had more ice cream and less . . . war?"
Why I love people: "Why's your neck so big, man? It's creeping me out."
So, it appears a lot of my away messages recently have been response-worthy. In the same vein as Greg's story about 'Snap' and the helicopter legs, Zeze the X also wrote a continuation of the mangoes message.
Auto response from Twitch: He stood in a hurry, folded the paper (to hide fourteen doodles of mangoes in wizarding superhero costumes) and bounded into the hall.
accio pensieve: where our one and only sirius black paraded to the kitchen to annoy several hundred houselves.
accio pensieve: (just continuing the story)
Later, I put up an away message complaining about my homework and why I don't ever want to do it ever and that I really need to be motivated. Aye and Elaine had something to say about that.
memeselfandAYE: fnar?
Auto response from Twitch: Motivate me, goddamnit. School is doing nothing for me right now. Even, "You'll never get into college," is doing nothing for me right now. I need a fucking incentive.
memeselfandAYE: i'll snog you if you get all A's.
memeselfandAYE: >)
. . . I suppose that's an . . . incentive? *cowers*
CANiPOKEYOURHAiR: yeah..seriously. I have no incentives to do anything. There'll be time for it later. grr. I agree with the motivation thing. I like the smell of caramelized onions
You have to love Elaine because she can't stay on one topic for more than fifteen consecutive seconds (I mean this in the nicest way).
Anyways, I went to Niella's mum's wedding on Saturday. That was pretty much awesome as hell. Mandy was there, too. Miss Tammy (or now, Mrs. Lehue) had the PRETTIEST DRESS and Niella and Des were wearing MAKEUP and had HAIRDOS. And their little brother and sister were wearing a tuxedo and a tiara, respectively. It was a really lovely ceremony.
More importantly, the food. It was so good. Holy crap, it was really good food. They had these pumpkin thingmies made out of peanut butter and chocolate that made awesome building blocks. I wanted to build a battlement so I could attack people with mango balls, but I never got around to it.
Mandy and I chased Niella around with cameras for the entire reception, because every time we took a picture she would make the most hilarious expression. There are literally three polaroids FULL of unattractive pictures of Niella's face.
Niella and Des threw melon balls at each other's mouths. At one point, both of them missed, so the other caught it. Simulatenously, they shoved the melon balls into their mouths, then gestured widely with their hands as if to say, "What now, bitch?" And they say they're nothing alike . . .
And then . . . WE DANCED. The cha cha slide, the electric slide, the chicken dance, and more. The best part, however, was the Niella&Des rap section of "One Two Step". Literally the most hilarious thing ever, perhaps only second to the "Don't you wish you girlfriend was hot like me?" dance.
Chyeah.
Then, Saturday night, I hung out with Niella, Kitt, AJ, Buzzi, and Ian. We attacked people with 'rhubarbs'. The word 'rhubarb' is now synonymous with 'retard'. AJ jabbed Buzzi in the arse with the stem of one and shouted, "DOES THIS SEEM FAMILIAR TO YOU?" We are literally four years old.
And now, what you are all really waiting for, here's a big chunk o' complaint. My English teacher is a RETARDED MONKEY. Here's why:
I wrote two drafts of a paragraph for English. On one of them, during in-class revisions, I drew a bird. When I got the copy back, this is what was on it.
WHAT THE HELL? And then, after my paragraph, there's this:
As if I would somehow be TOTALLY UNAWARE of the fact that she had ALSO graded the paper on TOP of my rough draft. Holy fucking crap.
Away Message of the Day:
Love: "It's a question that no one could answer for me. Dad tried, but he was never right, or at least it didn't ever seem right to me." "What is your question?" "I asked him what love really meant. And no, I'm not going to tell you his answer because I never liked it." "Do you see the stars?" "Yes." "There's your answer. Every one of those stars is pinned to the infinite velvet nothingness of the universe by love. Love is what holds them there, keeps them from crushing us under their weight. Love gives them their light, and it shines on all of us."
That one's a bit sappy and/or retarded, but I liked it at some point, probably when I was less cynical.
ETFUCKIN'A: [Username removed to prevent internet stalkers figuring out my last name], you have posted the first blog for your class and will receive extra credit (okay, you got to me!). Your blog is well written and your example of the philanthropist serves the statement well. I wonder if magnanimous behavior is inherent in all individuals? Some seem so morally connected to the common good, while others seem so selfishly distant.
Bloody fucking score. I definitely need the extra credit in English, and this just goes to show you that I am the KING of breaking teachers down. I fucking win. For any of you who have no idea what that thing is about, for our English class we have to write 'blog' responses to questions our teacher posts on the internet. Some retarded kid got extra credit for his (really grammatically and also content poor) blog, since it was the first one, and when El Lewis-o mentioned it in class, I said something like, "Yeah, I was so pissed, because I was this close to being the first comment." Also, mine was a lot better. This is why I win.
Hannah -- I have no idea who that kid on my icon is. I picked it up from some girl's livejournal, because I like the term 'smutty homosexual terrorist'. I assume it's just some random guy, but I'm probably wrong.
So, I probably did not mention this, but yesterday I woke up with my upper lip all swollen. I went downstairs to tell my mom . . .
Me: Hey mom, my lip's all swollen.
Mom: From what, MAKING OUT?!
Me: Actually, I was thinking allergies. Did I eat anything I'm allergic to?
Mom: BOYS?
In conclusion, I am allergic to boys. Woo-oo-oo.
Today was really . . . easy. Made fudge in math class, failed quiz miserably, can't bring self to care.
Rehearsal was rather spectacular. I really enjoy yelling, "SHUT UP!!" constantly.
I have mostly no homework, and some math homework that I'm ignoring because I hate math a lot right now.
After school, Gina was talking about gossip, and she goes, "So, Twitch, are you going out with anyone?"
"*Snort* Hell no."
"Why not?"
"I haven't dated anyone since the freakin' seventh grade."
"Why not?"
"I hate people. I'm simply not compatable with anyone."
"That's not true! You're compatable with Kitt."
Cue hysterical laughter.
Away Message of the Day:
Lumberjack: "I'M A LUMBERJACK AND I'M OKAY."
Today during Japanese the Tire-Lady brought in a woman named Misa, who spoke to us in Japanese. The extent of our class's collective vocabulary is things like numbers, name endings, a couple counters, a few objets, this/that is, and he/she/you/me. She talked about her family. We caught the numbers four and two. She talked about an assignment. We caught the word 'paper' and the number three. It was pitiful.
Oh, I think I forgot to mention this, but it is a good story. On Saturday, when Niella and I were walking, we saw three teenaged boys running in a triangular formation. Confused, I looked harder. Upon further inspection, we discovered the boys were carrying A LARGE WOODEN CROSS, presumably stolen from outside the gelato shop (it is used to hold up scarecrows around Hallowie). As we walked by, I shouted, "HEY, WHO YA' CRUCIFYIN'?" They looked at each other, and one, rather stoned, gestured to one of his cohorts and shouted back, "HE'S A JEW!" Totally hilarious.
Got a ninety on the math quiz I thought I failed and an eighty-one on the Latin quiz I thought I did well on. Bugger all.
In Civics, we played trasketball, which was terrifying. My entire class has Snausages for brains (really), so we all did pretty terrible. My team was composed mainly of smart people, and stupid Karl's team still beat us. Those arseheads. They mostly just stole questions from team 1 (which was TOTALLY RETARDED, they had no points). More importantly, a lot of funny crap happened.
At the beginning of class, this girl Antovia turns to Ms. Martino and says, "Hey, can I eat my cookies?" Ms. Martino, hilariously, responds with, "The trashcan can. You know, Oscar the trash can man from Sesame Street? He would love your cookies." She then proceeded to make the most terrifying chomping noises.
Later, when one team was trying to answer a question, Antovia sat across the room going, "NYEEEEET. NYAAAAAT. NYEEEEET." (Imagine wrong buzzer type sounds.) while a kid named Cliff sat over Karl's shoulder and patted him, shouting, "IT'S OKAY, WE'LL GET THEM ON THE REBUTTAL!" We were playing trashketball, for Bob's sake. What the hell.
Then in Latin, Dr. Smith passed back our (miserable, miserable grade) quizzes. She then asked, "Does anyone have any questions, like, about why they got something wrong?" Zandra responds with, "Because the verb means . . . something else." Dr. Smith flaps her arms furiously for a few seconds, then picks up the trashketball ball off her desk and motions as if she were about to throw it at Zandra. The class giggles, but then SHE DOES. My Latin teacher beaned a student with a trashketball ball. It was the funniest thing ever.
Later in class, Dr. Smith asked us what cultus meant. A couple students ventured, ". . . Cult?" And she shouted back, "NO! It's cul-chah!" "Cul-chah?!" "CUL-CHAH!" Apparently, she meant culture.
Ended up going to rehearsal for FIFTEEN MINUTES which was disgusting because my dad had to drive me all the way out there and my mom had to come pick me up fifteen minutes later. Shame on you, Mr. Drago. Shame shame shame. *shame toes*
Away Message of the Day:
Magically Delicious: "Sand treat talked?"
"I'm a Magic Wishing Crab, not a sand treat."