(no subject)
By the by, that Exposing Satanism, yadda yadda was something a girl made up after her friend challenged her. She posted it on livejournal, and it got transferred to that exposingsatanism.org thing. At least, that's what I'm seeing. It might be the other way around, that the girl on livejournal stole it from exposingsatanism. If you look at the website, it's a little scary, and a little too in depth to all be a hoax. I'm not really sure what I think.
I have to do my Driver's Ed driving on Saturday. I'm in a state of constant pants-pissing as a result. I am terrified.
Anyways.
Away Message of the Day:
Crying: Crying the tears of someone who thought they were fixed but just surprised themselves by shattering once again.
That one right there? Is seriously emo. I don't even remember where I got it.
I think I have given all of you plenty of time to read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince so if you have not read it, don't read this entry.
SPOILERS AHEAD.
BEWARE.
THERE ARE SPOILERS.
YOU WILL FIND OUT HOW THE BOOK ENDS.
IF YOU ARE STILL READING AND DO NOT WANT TO KNOW HOW HBP ENDS, YOU ARE A MORON.
I HAVE WARNED YOU PLENTY OF TIMES, DO NOT BITCH ME OUT.
SPOLIERS:
Anyways. So anyone who has read the book knows, obviously, all that tripe between Dumbledore and Snape. Everyone now thinks Snape is evil. J.K. Rowling seems to be insinuating in her interviews that Snape is evil. I refuse to believe this.
I really don't think anyone as intellegent as Dumbledore would blindly trust Snape just because he apologised for being a Death Eater. Honestly, it seems like a load of drivel.
What I'm thinking (and I'm working off a girl's livejournal to better articulate my thoughts, so don't leave me a comment like "THAT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE THAT PAGE YOU RECCED ME" because I know. If I didn't agree with it, I probably wouldn't have shown you it and been like 'This makes so much sense!' Anyways, moving on. . . ) is that Dumbledore was going to die anyways. He said that he thought the potion he had drunk was going to leave the drinker alive only long enough for Voldemort to find out who it was.
That's why Dumbledore wouldn't let Harry drink the potion in the big stone thing. He knew he was expendable. He knew also that Harry would have to move on alone, without anybody holding his hand any longer.
I'm quite sure that Dumbledore also knew of Voldemort's plans to have Draco Malfoy kill him. With Snape having known, he would have reported it to Dumbledore. Dumbledore probably asked Snape to make the Unbreakable Vow.
Why? To prevent Draco from becoming a killer. You can tell from the way Draco acts in the Astronomy Tower that he really has no desire to kill Dumbledore. He's being baited with threats to his family's lives. Dumbledore doesn't want any of his students to become murderers. This is why he makes Snape make the Unbreakable Vow. He stalls Draco, not to save his own life, but to save Draco's conscience and hold off long enough for Snape to arrive to finish the deed.
When Snape enters the Astronomy Tower, what Harry sees him do is stare at Dumbledore in disgust. Both Dumbledore and Snape are highly astute Legilimens, they would be communicating through thought. Snape's disgust is likely not at Dumbledore, but what Dumbledore is asking him to do, to kill him. (I stole that entire paragraph's content from the girl on LJ, I hadn't even thought of this after I read the book).
That would also explain why Snape freaked the fuck out when Harry called him a coward. He just did something incredibly brave, but a coward is what Harry saw.
As for the locket, I've heard a lot of Regulus Black (though we don't know his middle name), but I'm thinking it might be someone we haven't met yet, or someone who was just mentioned in passing. Like how they mentioned Scrimgeour in OotP a few times, and almost nobody remembered him when they opened up HBP. Just look at how instrumental he's become. If it is Regulus, I'm going to be a titchy bit peeved (heh. Bad pun.) just because Sirius whinged about him being such a fucking coward and backing out of the Death Eaters when he got in too deep. I have a lot of respect for Sirius's opinions, I think.
Now, in lieu of that long-winded post, here is a link to where I got/managed to find fodder to articulate the theories about Dumbledore and Snape:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/garlandgraves/3409.html
She really makes Regulus and the locket seem very convincing, but for some reason I just don't buy it. I don't know why.
Got my report card today. Ninety-ninth Biology and Maths, ninety-eighth in English. I am a bit put out by the ninety-eighth in English.
Dear Xanga adverts,
I have no desire to MAXIMIZE my SEX DRIVE or BOOST my TESTOSTERONE.
Thanks,
Twitch
I'm driving on Saturday. I'm fucking terrified as hell. Terrified. As. Hell.
J.K. Rowling uses semicolons unecessarily. This is not a spoiler. She uses them in places they do not belong. This is not a spoiler. It gives me joy to sit around and go "Heh, Rowling was wrong. Heh." This is not a spoiler.
We got teacher number seven today at school. I think the whole class likes her a lot because she spent twenty minutes explaining how a square root is different from dividing by two. They are all really stupid.
There was then an amusing incident. The teacher was talking about how she is going back to college for the third time to get another degree in an effort to achieve a Ph.D. (I wasn't really paying attention at this point), and a bunch of students (I just accidentally typed 'stupids') started asking "Why would you want to do that?"
"So I can get a better job and teach college instead of high schoolers."
Some more students complain, so she proceeds to expound upon the fact that it is very important to continuously further our education, especially black students. Our teacher is black. Immediately, the guy who sits in front of me (the one with the camouflage truck and the 'Git R Done' hat) asks "Why shouldn't white kids further their education?"
"Black males between the ages of eighteen and twenty-nine are approximately thirty percent more likely to end up in prison than white males of the same age." (Excuse me if I have butchered this statistic, I didn't really start paying attention until the argument really got going.) "So?" asks Git R Done boy, "That doesn't mean white kids shouldn't keep learning."
"Well, the reason black males end up in prison is because they drop out of school before the age of eighteen."
"White people can go to prison, too!" At this point, Git R Done boy is really high on the defensive. I'm laughing on the inside. All of a sudden, out of the fucking blue, a girl cries out from the back of the classroom, "A lot of Hispanic people are in prison, too!"
Teacher (distracted): "Yes, Latinos are also on the rise. . ."
After this point she moves on with the lesson. It was a really bizarre conversation, to say the least.
Interesting fact: I think there's a boy in my class with twenty-third chromosome set XYY. What makes me think this? Children born with XYY often have a surplus of testosterone, resulting in high levels of agression, overgrowth (heavy weight gain), extra muscle mass, and/or extreme height. This guy is approximately seven feet tall. All during class he kept turning around to ask me "Can you see all right?" It was oddly hilarious.
I really don't think the teacher likes me very much, and this is why. She decided we needed to brush up on our perfect squares. She begins, "One squared is?" moves on to, "Two squared is?" and so forth, with the class responding with emotion equivalent to that of a board marker. Eventually she reaches eleven squared. I am dying. I just start rattling off "One twenty-one, one fourty-four, one sixty-nine, one ninety-six, two twen--" "HOLD UP, CALM DOWN. The rest of the class isn't quite there yet!!" She then proceeded to glare at me for the rest of the lesson, essentially, while I took notes straight out of the book and spent the rest of the time reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
Away Message of the Day:
Cutlet: '"You look like a cutlet. It makes me hungry. Can we eat?"
"Can we eat? Can we! Listen you-- you-- this is a Beach Community! Do you know what that means? It means we never do anything ever. We don't even have to eat if we don't want to. We can get other people to eat for us, and then spit the pre-chewed food into our drooling mouths!"
"I just want a sandwich. If you take away the chewing you take away my excercise for the entire week."'
ETA: AYE! (Because I got tired to leaving you comments). October twenty-eighth is official Shoebox dress-up day. If you would dress up with me, I would be most obliged. *Desires to be Remus*
Computer's being bloody arsing slow, damnit.
Interesting medical blather: Apparently, vaccinations cause every neurological disorder on the scale from autism to dyslexia. Tremendous. They just figured this out apparantly, and now most U.S. vaccinations are clean, but vaccines in other countries are infested with whatever's causing this tripe. U.S. autism rate is now something like one in every one hundred sixty-six children (I've also heard as much as one in five hundred, but 1/166 is what the news said, so we'll go with that). That's up tremendously from say, the twenties, where one in every couple hundred thousand children had autism.
"In 1993, less than five children per 1,000 were reported as autistic in USDE data. By 2003, that number was more than 25 per 1,000." These statistics may or may not be skewed due to higher autism awareness and/or misdiagnoses, but still. It's a little scary.
On the subject of medical-related stuff (you should be intrigued, it has nothing to do with a yeast infection whatsoever) I have apparantly gained three pounds in between two doctor visits. This pisses me off because I am definitely skinnier than I have been all year, am done growing, and I have still gained weight. Perhaps I have retarded eyes or something.
So today at school, the teacher for the other Algebra II class decided not to show up. Just freakin' out of the blue. As a result, we had a class of around thirty-six, thirty-eight-ish students. No empty desks. I was petrified. We also learned nothing, because the boys who used to sit in the back when our class was huge have now decided to sit in the front in order to better flirt with or pick on the teacher. They take up copious amounts of time harrassing the shite out of her. I took up copious amounts of time reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which I have just finished, hoo-rah.
Teacher also didn't know how to solve a bunch of the problems she assigned in the book, so I slacked around and Joon told everyone a story about how some arse in Dallas, Texas got a megaphone and went around to the midnight Harry Potter parties and shouted the ending of the book through the megaphone. It would be really hilarious if only teenagers read the book. However, little kids and old people also read them, so it's simply cruel.
Raucous boys in the front of the class were totally immature. Decided it would be acceptable to talk about the teacher's boobs (Honestly, they're nothing compared to her arse. It looks like she's stuffed a pillow in the back of her pants. *horffs*), and then proceeded to sing a loud chorus of some song about breasts. What is it with the boys in my class and breast songs? No idea.
Driving tomorrow. Terrified as hell. My mom took me driving today in the church park & ride lot, so I would have a bit of practice. Needless to say, I was a miserable failure. In the middle of the parking lot, I just broke down sobbing and wanted to get out of the car, but my mom wouldn't let me. It was scary as hell. I am so not ready.
I am drowning in a pile of onion rings.
Went driving today. Shoot me, please.
I should never be allowed on the road. I will ride public transportation for the rest of my life. I almost hit a squirrel, and when I tried to brake to avoid it, I slammed on the gas. It didn't get hit, luckily, but I got some major berating from Mr. Slade, who is terrifying.
Aye- Let us make up breast songs and we shall sing them loudly and be jolly.
ATTENTION: Aye and I are recruiting a James Potter and a Peter Pettigrew for October twenty-eighth, official Shoebox Project dress up day. You don't necessarily have to go to CHHS, but that'd probably be nice. Join us and we'll make the ladies swoon and wet their pants.
I went to Home Depot and Lowes and Pier One with my mum today, in preperation of the big move. My mom spent all the time in Home Depot looking at paint chips, so I played with the blinds and looked inside all the refridgerators and microwaves. I'd love to disassemble a microwave. I wonder how they work. One of the microwaves had a packet of papers wrapped in plastic inside, and I hoped a little that no children would look inside and then go home and think "Let's microwave all of Daddy's file folders! The people at Home Depot did it." I don't think most kids are that dumb, though I probably was.
At Pier One I smelled all the candles and danced a little in the aisles and sat on all of the chairs and sang under my breath and tried to spin a globe with my nose until my mother pulled me over by the door by the top of my arm and said to me sharply, "Stop it. People are looking at me like they're sorry for me." I guess I looked confused, because she elaborated, "They've got a look like 'Shouldn't you be watching your obviously mentally challenged son--daughter--son--daugh--. . . ?'" We left after that.
In Lowes my mum continued to look at paint chips, so I went for a bit of a walk. For a while I played with the light fixtures, and then I found some fountains, which were really pretty, but I got my hands soggy touching the water, so then my hair was wet and when I wandered into this entire aisle of mirrors I realised I looked a bit like a hedgehog. Then I found aisles of lumber and gutters and masonry and such that were hugely wide and enormously tall and nobody at all was in them and I had the best time watching the guys on the other side of the shelves cutting huge pieces of wood with buzzsaws. In the masonry section, someone had spilled a bag of sand, and I contrived to make a sand castle, but failed miserably because there was no water anywhere.
Suddenly, there was a rather loud bang, and I was startled, so I began to leave, but someone had also spilled a bag of dry cement. It had a lot more stick to it than the sand, so I made a dinosaur out of it, but without any legs. My hands got really dusty, and then I left and went for a walk around the gutters section and back into the cabinets when the overhead speaker came on. "Brittany please come to the Returns desk to meet your mother. Brittany please come to the Returns desk." My mum was what I like to call 'fucking incensed'.
Away Message of the Day:
Dance: "That is not dancing, you look as if someone just dumped a tank of pirhannas down your trousers!"
Nothing remotely interesting at all really happened today, save the fact that I slept in until three p.m. and that I have school tomorrow. And that isn't even something interesting that happened today, that's something boring that happens tomorrow.
I made a Sirius:
sirius.jpg
Anyways, I fill out a survey now out of sheer boredom.
A hilarious survey, because it's all about personification, which I'm terrible at. I could use some practice, though, so let's play the Watch Twitch Struggle With Words game.
1. If I were a month I would be: December, because I like the cold, and I like making fuzzy hats, which you can really only wear in December, and also one of my favourite bands is The Decemberists.
2. If I were a day of the week I would be: Wednesday. Hump day, because I like dirty jokes.
3. If I were a time of day I would be: One A.M., that's when I get all my important work done. Or three P.M. because that's bedtime, and I like sleep a lot.
4. If I were a planet I would be: A black hole, because they're not so much planet as total absence of planet . . . or anything else for that matter.
5. If I were a sea animal I would be: The giant squid, because nobody's ever caught one alive, but they know it exists.
6. If I were a direction I would be: South. It represents fire, and I'm a Leo, planet: Sun.
7. If I were a piece of furniture I would be: One of those beach chairs that take half an hour to open, and then once you finally sit down on them, they either close up and try to maim you, or sink so low you end up playing a spontaneous (and unwanted) game of Sand in Your Bits.
8. If I were a sin I would be: Sloth, gluttony, wrath, envy, pride, lust, greed. All seven, in that order.
9. If I were a historical figure I would be: Nobody important. Cleopatra's illegitimate daughter, or Napoleon's stunt double, or some such nonsense.
10. If I were a liquid I would be: Cyanide, the most effective little liquid in suicide salt pills. Also used in the gassings during WWII in death camps, and also put into the glasses of spies, who, during interrogation, could chew the end of the glasses, the toxins being released into their bodies and killing them before they could reveal any information. Either that or liquid arsenic (rat poison), which cannot frequently be detected in the body after poisoning, or detected in one's food or drink except for its faint smell of almonds, which only about thirty-five to fifty percent of the population are genetically predisposed to detect.
11. If I were a stone, I would be: Igneous rock, forged by fire, just because that sounds really cool.
12. If I were a tree, I would be: I wouldn't be a tree. More likely some kind of low-growing scrub grass in primary sucession.
13. If I were a bird, I would be: A tit. *cracks up*
14. If I were a tool, I would be: A wrench. Size: one sixteenth inch; least useful one in the entire tool kit, but useful for disassembling very small, useless things.
15. If I were a flower/plant, I would be: Low lying scrub grass, I already said this.
16. If I were a kind of weather, I would be: Foggy, high chance of accidents, avoid roads at all costs.
17. If I were a musical instrument, I would be: The castanets. Easier to play than a tambourine, but less showy and common.
18. If I were an animal, I would be: One of those wicked-awesome yellow and black centipedes that are all over this time of year. Either that or a crunch worm, because they smell like piss when you step on them.
19. If I were a color, I would be: Muddy brown, blue fringes.
20. If I were an emotion, I would be: Cold. I honestly don't know much about emotions except for sad, happy, angry. Bases. So I'll pick cold, because my feet are very cold right now, and I'm too lazy to go get some socks.
21. If I were a vegetable, I would be: A turnip . . . head.
22. If I were a sound, I would be: Station 99.9 on the radio, white noise static; or the sound a tape player makes when it's rewinding back to the beginning of a cassette. All useless noise, but it blocks out everything else.
23. If I were an element, I would be: Arsenic. Brilliant, deadly.
24. If I were a car, I would be: A bicycle.
25. If I were a song, I would be: "The Apology Song" by The Decemberists, or "Wrath of Hermione" by Harry and the Potters. Absolute nonsense songs.
26. If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Tim Burton. Scary, weird, breaks up the plot of anything he hasn't written himself.
27. If I were a book, I would be written by: Hopefully someone great and brilliant, but that's probably not the case. Some amateur writer you've never heard of, and who isn't very good. Maybe me.
28. If I were a food, I would be: Baking chocolate.
29. If I were a place, I would be: The sole of my own three left feet.
30. If I were a material, I would be: Nylon thread of the ply they use for pantyhose. Comes apart a little too easy, but people seem to think it's durable.
31. If I were a taste, I would be: Morning breath.
32. If I were a scent, I would be: Dry cement, not only because it hardly smells like anything, but if you do try to smell it, it all goes up your nose and can block your nasal passages by mixing with your mucous and forming regular cement. That and it almost sounds like semen. Again with the filthy jokes.
33. If I were a word, I would be: Squamous.
34. If I were a body part I would be: A hangnail.
35. If I were a facial expression I would be: Staring at the ground, biting my lip. Or at least, that's my favourite one.
36. If I were a subject in school I would be: Psychology. A study within itself.
37. If I were a cartoon character I would be: That bald kid from Xiaolin Showdown. (Though, if I were picking a character from any children's show, I'd pick Brum, because he rocks all arse straight to hell.)
38. If I were a shape I would be a: Dodecahedron. Have you ever read The Phantom Tollbooth?
Away Message of the Day:
Dancing: "It's dancing without movement, it's screaming without sound."
I just upgraded my internet browser to Mozilla Firefox, and I was wondering if anyone wanted to help me modify my skin to make it Firefox compatible? Aj said he would help, but he's out of the country for a couple of days/weeks/whatevers, and I really like this skin. Any help is greatly appreciated, thanks.
Had to write a note to my family about the new browser situation. It covers five Post-it notes. It reads:
"Attn Family: Instead of using the Internet Explorer icon please click the Mozilla Firefox icon to access the internet. This is not a new ISP (internet service provider) but rather a new browser with stronger popup & virus protection. Please try it for just 1 week and if you don't like it, switch back to IE on Mon."
You'd think that was pretty clear, yeah? I bet you anything by eight o' clock tonight, I will have been ambushed in the hallway at least seven times.
In other news, I still really freakin' hate my teacher. Bloody arseface, she is. Has no idea how to teach. As a result, I am now focused solely on learning directly out of the book. Bob, I hate that bitch.
Nothing else really remotely interesting at all happened today, except that Louisa and I spent our busride home making up acronyms for the word 'crap'. My favourite? Cool Rule Azul Pool, though at first I thought the word 'azul' was someone's name, spelled A-s-o-o-l. I am retarded, yes, thanks for asking.
I'm working on a new skin, but I still plan to use this as a base layout, because I can't be arsed to make a real one. Hellfire and botheration. Ah, well.
ATTENTION: OCTOBER TWENTY-EIGHTH IS OFFICIAL SHOEBOX DRESS UP DAY. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SHOEBOX IS, THAT'S OKAY (http://livejournal.com/community/shoebox_project/). AYE AND I WILL BE DRESSING UP AS SIRIUS BLACK AND REMUS LUPIN (Marauder's era), RESPECTIVELY. WE ARE NEED USE OF A JAMES POTTER AND A PETER PETTIGREW. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LOOK LIKE EITHER ONE OF THEM. PLEASE APPLY. THANK YOU.
Away Message of the Day:
Default Away Message: "I am a default away message."
As predicted, my mom woke me up today while I was napping to help her, get this, get onto aol.com. She is seriously the most technologically retarded person in the entire world. Then she persisted in calling me back into the room four more times, once because a message had popped up that said "This page is encrypted, do you want to proceed?", once because "Your stupid internet thing won't let me see this website." (because the website was under construction), once because the computer was being slow, and once because our internet connection stopped working, as it occasionally does. She seems to think this is the fault of the new browser. *sighs*
C'mon you guys, we need people for Shoebox dress up day. Oh, and Mandy/Ze, I found out about it through the Shoebox Project fans livejournal community. They set up a journal for it, and you can put pictures and stuff, it's going to be rad.
In other news, I might be going to a different school starting next year/junior year. It's in Durham, and I think it's a private school, and I can't remember the name, but the average graduating age is sixteen, and there are only a couple hundred students. I am really excited if I get to go, because I hate this school with a burning passion equivalent to that of a thousand suns.
I found a good quote today. In a knitting book, nonetheless. "Black holes are where God divided by zero." *nerds obsessively*
Nothing at all interesting happened at school. Nothing. At. All.
Away Message of the Day:
Dog in Pants: "Get our dog OUT of your pants, you pervert."
"What? He likes it. It's warm there."
Aye
This is a picture of Aye as a Hooter's girl, in order to stretch out the entry so I can read it until I get the code fixed.
This are brill: http://www.livejournal.com/community/hp100/382226.html
Cat woke me up at four thirty this morning. She seemed to think it was a good time to play "Bat the pom-pom ball around Twitch's face" game. I hurled her bodily from the room.
Obligatory margin-expanding Hooter's picture. I have about six hundred more of these, Kitt and I drew them up a couple months ago in preparation for a calender. If you don't want to see your face up here, well . . . that's too bad.
Teacher is a total fucking dipshit. Again. Despite the fact that yesterday after break, she marched into the room and announced "I'm not teaching this afternoon," threw some papers at us, and proceeded to play MineSweeper loudly on her computer, I was thinking Nobody can really be as stupid as she's letting on. Well I'll tell you, I was wrong as hell. I was trying to do an interest problem, compounded monthly. Our book does not have the formula for interest in it, unless it is constantly compounded interest. Compounded monthly and compounded constantly are two very different things. The formula for constantly compounded interest is Pe^(r)(t), where t is time in years. I was trying to do compounded monthly for ten years. She suggested I use the constant interest formula, but instead of raising it to ten, I raise it to 120. She is a FUCKING MORON.
We're moving on Saturday. I took down all my posters today. My room seems really empty. . .
I just finished the fourth Artemis Fowl book The Opal Deception. It wasn't really as good as any of the other ones. Maybe Eoin Colfer is losing his touch, I have no idea. Maybe I outgrew the books. It was bad. I don't know.
Max brought Louisa and I some cake today, and we were about to eat some on the bus, when the bus driver turns around and starts telling us off for eating it. I think she was pissed because Max didn't give her any food like he usually does, because she usually lets us get away with it. . .
I made a new dish today. Starchy Leftover Supreme, I call it. It's leftover white rice and potato chunks in a bowl, mixed up and covered in cheese and soy sauce, then melted for two minutes in the microwave. Then you add duck sauce. Despite how disgusting that sounds, it makes a remarkably tasty lunch.
Away Message of the Day:
Ears: "You cannot resist the lure of The Ears, coathangers of the soul . . ."
Max as Hooter's girl. Obligatory page expansion picture.
The bus came retarculously late today. So late, in fact, that Louisa and I had got up to walk back to her house and were halfway up the hill when the bus came by. I ran to try and see if we could catch it, but it didn't work out. Turns out everyone who DID catch the bus was ten minutes late for school, but that does mean I get to wake up ten minutes later tomorrow. Hoo-rah.
So today was pretty awesome by all standards. My teacher's an absolute nut. She decided it would be a good idea to dance all over the classroom like a fucking lunatic. She would say something, or finish a problem, then proceed to clap her hands and slide around backwards whilst singing to herself. Then while she was thinking, she would snap or tap her foot and hum under her breath, and when people complained about the work load, she starts singing "Sooooorry, I am sooooooooooooorry!!" It was kind of scary.
She also finished a problem on the board, and, after confirming it was right, wrote "YEAH BABY!!!!" on the board in huge letters. When people looked at her funny, she said, "I watched Austin Powers last night. And I didn't take my medicine this morning." Then she started to sing and clap again. It was terrifying.
During break, Ted was eating an Atkins bar. Dr. Atkins is some sort of evil corruption machine. I told him that and he says, "So? It has thirteen grams of protein (or some other ridiculous amount), and it tastes really good." "So if Hitler made Hitler bars, and they tasted really good, would you eat them?" "Yes."
After break, the teacher left for an hour. I'm . . . not really sure what she was doing. Probably playing solitaire in the library or something. After she left, there was trench warfare. All the guys in the class decided it would be a really good idea to bean each other with markers. They had terrible aim. I sat under my desk.
In any case, these two Chinese girls in the class started writing rude things on the board in Chinese, so all these guys came up and were like "Can you write this in Chinese? Can you write this in Chinese?" &c. &c.
Then a couple people started talking about languages, and one of the original writing girls (who is REALLY teeny and adorable, like a stuffed animal) is like, "I can count to three in Spanish!!" So everyone says, "Okay, let's hear it . . . " and she's like "Um. . . oo . . . uh . . . ah. . . er . . . oon . . . um . . . ?" Attractive guy: "Uno?" "YEAH! Um, uno . . . " It was oddly hilarious. Got on the topic of German. I said "I can say something in German!" "What?" "Fick dich." "What does that mean?" "Fuck you." And everyone kind of . . . goggled and laughed, because for most of them, those are the only words they've heard me say ever.
Oh, I have a pretty good story from yesterday. I was sitting in class, and I see this gorgeous spider crawl by. Medium sized, black, and not like a fat-bodied, spindly-legged spider, either. Like this beautiful, tapered legs that ended in a point . . . absolutely gorgeous thing with a white stripe on its back. Naturally, I am inclined to follow it. So I drop to my hands and knees and start crawling under the desks after the spider. This guy looked at me like I was dog shite on the bottom of his shoe, and I didn't catch the spider either. Lame.
Away Message of the Day:
Eat!: "I am nice people, I will not eat you."
Niella. Page expander. Man, am I ever glad she isn't here to see this. I fear for my spinal cord.
The teacher left our class today for another hour or so. Excuse? 'I haven't written the test that you are all supposed to take in ten minutes.' Result? More trench warfare.
I was drawing in class today, (A picture of this guy named O'Malley, who is a heroin addict from this book called The Cage by Roy Brown, in case you were wondering, because you should all read that book, it is quite good.) and the teacher goes, "BRITTANY!"
I sit straight up, startled. She mumbles something about number nine on the board, a problem which is already completed (I can rarely, if ever, understand a word my teacher says).
"Pardon?" I ask.
"Where are your glasses?"
My brain says to me 'That is a pretty weird question,' but I rarely, if ever, listen to my brain, so I start rooting around on my desk, producing my glasses case.
"Right here," I respond, opening the case, only to find that HOLY SHIT MY GLASSES ARE GONE. I start digging around on my desk, and finally find them under my binder. I hold them up, and go to put them on, because I figure that was the teacher's roundabout way of saying 'You should be looking at the board, not drawing heroin addicts in your notebook,' (This is how I learned not to assume anything, ever.) so I begin to put my glasses on.
"You don't have to put them on, I just noticed you weren't wearing them. You have very pretty eyes."
Why, God, why, is this constantly a topic of conversation between myself and anyone I ever encounter in my 'professional' experiences? THEY ARE JUST BLOBS OF GOO WITH CORNEAS AND RETINAS. Honestly. My eyes aren't even attractive. Jeez, do I hate people.
After school, Louisa came over to watch Brum (A British children's television programme about a small yellow car that saves the day twice in a half hour). She didn't seem as enthused about it as I am. Perhaps she simply doesn't understand the simple joys of a stolen golden toilet, or a runaway robot with a wig on.
Pretty good day overall.
Away Message of the Day:
Eating Jellyfish: "I am a subduer of mighty beasts!" he says, flopping down in the sand, a cloud of which settles in Remus's ear. "Although I cannot feel my left leg, and my right one feels like mince. Do they look swollen?"
"Don't say mince to me," Remus says forlornly. "Do you still have it? The jellyfish, I mean. I'll eat it if you still have it."
This is definitely one of my top favourite Hooters Page Expanders (tm) EVER.
So, I moved yesterday. Nothing very important got broken, but we don't have a fridge or a microwave. Well, we do have a fridge, but its dimensions are 3'x3'x3'. Which means the things we can keep in it are (quiz time!) A) Beer. B) Vodkas. C) A single clove of garlic. D) A tupperware container filled with as-of-yet unidentified meatstuffs. E) All of the above.
. . . If you guessed E, you know my family a little too well.
Anyways, I now have the entire top floor of the house to myself. It's basically a giant room. With a computer in it. I am not complaining, even if I do have to sit on the floor and type with the keyboard in my lap. Early onset of carpal tunnels syndrome is totally worth getting to avoid my brothers twenty-four hours a day.
Other than that, I went to see The Island with Kitt last night. It was pretty good, except at the end Kitt had dropped some quarters and resurfaced with a poptop, to which I said, "That's mine. Fell out of my pocket." She laughed, and then looked at the screen and exclaimed (VERY QUIETLY) "They're like rats!" So this evil looking satan-man turned around and shouts (VERY LOUDLY) "BE QUIET!" then turns around and hisses, "Jeez." Arsehole.
When we got out of the movie, NIELLA WAS WAITING OUTSIDE on visitation from her hellacious Christian camp. Apparantly she hates it there and is also very sick. Her voice was hilarious. I attacked her with underpants and pyjamas in order to express my affections.
We discussed attacking Kitt's froggie panties aunt, and how to best menace her at an airport, and Kitt and Niella told delightful stories about Nerd and Christian camps, respectively. It was delightful, since I haven't seen either of them in WEEKS AND WEEKS.
And today I made some ravioli and that's really it.
Away Message of the Day:
EMO: "So emo it'll melt your face."
Never fails to crack me up.
Wow, so it's been . . . what, four days since I last posted? That's a lot of days, considering it's me.
I don't think anything terribly interesting happened Monday, and the only interesting thing that happened Tuesday is Kitt's insane relatives showed up, which was exciting. Her aunt is pretty intimidating.
So yesterday after school I met Kitt and her relatives at the mall, but we pretty much ditched them and went off on our own. This would have been really awesome had we not gotten so waylayed. This is what happened. Kitt and I went into Charlotte Russe at my behest to look at the thong pit. Because there is nothing funnier than disgusting trashy thongs. While we were there, Kitt got a hat. Not a bad thing, right? Wrong.
So we were walking into one of the department stores, and I start messing with all the colognes. I sprayed some on my wrists, and they IMMEDIATELY turn a shocking pink and begin to swell. As in, within five seconds of application. I had some sort of crazy allergic reaction to it, apparantly. So I start spitting on my arms and rubbing them on my pants. I look like a retard. It's at this point Kitt decides she doesn't really like her hat and wonders if they will let her return it.
Problem: Kitt cut off the tags at the counter. Solution: 'Do you have the receipt?' Problem: No receipt. Solution: Store credit. Problem: Kitt hates everything in the store. Solution: We spend a solid hour in there, but then I get frustrated by the tremendously loud and bad music and go sit down with my hands over my ears. Problem: Kitt does not see me as she leaves the store. Solution: She bangs on the window once she does see me and we hightail it the fuck out of there. Ugh.
But then! More importantly, ENGINE DOWN. Very fabulous show.
Kitt and I met up with Elaine, Armeen, and Eliz outside the Cradle. Sarah showed up. ALL HER HAIR IS GONE. It looks adorable. She gave me a 'Pervy Hobbit-Fancier' button. It is fabulous. We discussed movies and Kitt's nerd camp experiences and how to make your hair grow faster by massaging it. The doors opened kind of late (they always do), but once we were inside, there were TONS of free newspaper magazine thingmies everywhere. And! A free disc which we all got one of, effectively eliminating all free discs.
This girl named Mary who I had met at Louisa's party showed up, and she was very nice. We all stole some posters and then Eliz and Armeen decided to play pool. Very badly. Very badly indeed.
Ben Davis played first, and it was basically a guy named Ben Davis with people from other bands kind of playing randomly around him. The bassist looked like a girl and had Eliz's (very distinctive) hair. They played a very short set, and not very togetherly (they had like five songs), probably because they were not a real band at all, and just some random people thrown together. Ben Davis had a very nice voice, though.
Then we were standing around waiting for Des Ark to come on, and some guy walks out and puts down a mat on the floor. I am thinking Is there going to be break dancing? when they start putting out other equipment, too. A drumset and a mike, and we all took turns touching one of the drums and giggling like hysterical maniacs. Then the dude and chick who had been setting up walk out into the middle of the crowd and say something about how "They are going to think we are that Dess-nark, or whoever. But we're not." and just start playing. Turns out they were Des Ark. They were very good. Ridiculously energetic, dancing into the crowd and things, and the girl (who did vocals and guitar) tried to make jokes or tell stories, but she wasn't particularly good at it.
However, at one point, she said, "My parents come to these shows and say 'How did we raise such an awful child?'" and this woman in the crowd shouts "HOW DID WE RAISE SUCH AN AWFUL CHILD?!"and the girl says "That would be my mom." And it was.
Anyways, the girl was really crazy, and kept leaning into the crowd and hopping around and crying out things like "GET ME MY BEER, THE ONE BEHIND MY OTHER BEER." But if you think she was crazy, you should have seen the drummer. I actually wondered aloud if when he was out on the street talking to people he would hit things really loudly in the middle of when they were talking, because he seemed overfond of that.
Next was Bella Lea. I still had BOUNDLESS amounts of energy left over from Des Ark because they hadn't really played long enough for me to expend the energy I had sapped out of their songs, so Kitt and I resolved to dance like maniacs. Unfortunately, Bella Lea has very few 'dance like maniac' songs.
We managed to pull it off pretty well, until in the middle of it Kitt's cellphone died. We couldn't find out what the hell had happened. Then she realized . . . there was a dime jammed in the bottom. A FUCKING DIME. I don't know if her phone is broken or not.
Anyways, Bella Lea was really really nice, and the keyboardist/guitarist (I just typed 'retardist')/vocalist chick had the most amazing voice. The bassist was the bassist from Engine Down, and also apparantly vocalist chick's brother, which was cool. Their bassist couldn't be at the show, so he had learned all their music in like three days. The girl (Maura?) said in this really cute voice "He's the best brother ever!"
Kitt's mom, aunt, cousin, and cousin's friend showed up around the end of Bella Lea, and stayed for the beginning of Engine Down, so I only got to see the beginning of their set, but I hear it was amazing. At the beginning, I think all the lights died. The stage lights went out. I'm not sure if they were broken or what, but it still looked quite cool because they ended up being lit from the front of the stage, which cast these very distinct shadows on the walls and ceiling above and around the stage. It was like watching ghost performers. I was absolutely entranced.
I tried to dance during their set, but the lights kept coming up on the crowd, who did not seem very enthusiastic at all. It is very easy to ignore a crappy crowd in the dark, but very easy to realise you look like a complete idiot among stock still people in the light. I sang along enthusiastically, anyways.
At one point in the set, the vocalist was talking and he goes, "I'm going to pull a Ted Leo here. *chord chord* So how *chord chord* are you all *chord chord* doing?" and the guy behind me starts cracking up and yells, "IT'S FUNNY 'COS IT'S TRUE." He was kind of weird.
Today I felt like a lot of shite and left school at break. My teacher was pretty cool about it. I talked to her in the hallway, and when I told her that I was going home sick and that I would take the homework quiz (it's how she checks our homework, don't ask) tomorrow, she just kind of patted my arm (which was uncomfortable) and said, "Don't worry about it, just feel better," which was very nice of her.
Away Message of the Day:
Evil: "I am the kind of evil that uses your bath towel and borrows your socks."
No page expander today, because I'm on a different browser. Also partially because the next one up is mine, and I am slightly apprehensive about that.
So yesterday my dad's friend was over, and he's looking at this picture of me and my brothers and he says "[My dad], I didn't know you had three boys." I was in the room. It is not that hard to look at a picture of me and the actual me and think, 'Well, it may look like a boy, but I talked to it, and it is definitely a chick.' Honestly. But it was actually pretty funny.
Today at school our teacher was semi-nice again and let us have snacks during our test. Not only that, but she gave us this big arse formulas sheet, so the test was basically an excercise in fill-in-the-blanks. Mega fucking easy.
During break a lot of people were conspicuously absent, so Elaine, Ted, Linda, and I ate all of Elaine's NO TRANS FAT SunChips and spent most of the time discussing marketing strategies for NO TRANS FAT Ramen Noodles and electrical bow ties. It was very amusing.
KITT HEY KITT. Are you able to come to Bishop Allen tomorrow? (Anyone else who wants to go [Please come with me! *wibbly eyes*] it's doors eight-thirty, show nine-thirty. Bishop Allen playing with We Are Scientists and Cities, eight dollars, tomorrow [Saturday] night.)
After school I spent about five or six hours on the computer with Aye working on a 'small' joint fiction project. We are both really enthused, even if it did take us an hour or so to get on track, and away from the subject of beetles named Father Christmas and mugs full of salsa.
My radio is not here. My music is not on this computer. In desperation, I have resorted to listening to the crap-for-shite on my brother's Itunes. My brother has tragically bad taste in music. I'm about to go download a bunch of crap for him.
Tomorrow I do my final day of Driver's Ed and get my Driver's Eligibility certificate. What does this mean? It means August tenth (my birthday) I am heading to the DMV to get my learner's permit. I am in a state of constant worry.
Today for dinner my dad brought home Chick-Fil-A. I ate it. It was delicious. My body did not agree. Seeing as how I have had no meat for about a month, my stomach is cramping something awful. I feel like I'm going to throw up. It was worth every bite.
No away message today, I'm on a different computer.
And with that I close (PLEASE COME TO BISHOP ALLEN THANK YOU).
Yeah that's pretty sexy.
So anyways, I took my last two hours of Driver's Education today, and if I do say so myself, I did pretty well. By pretty well I mean I mostly obeyed the speed limit and didn't run anybody over. I also got my Driver's Education Completion certificate. Though, as Niella so astutely pointed out, "You could kill sixteen people and they still have to give you that thing. It isn't like you get graded on it."
Anyways, NIELLA IS HOME. I'm really happy.
Left my dad's house today to come over to my mom's. I don't know how long it will be before I decide to go back there. t might be a pretty long time, but I just don't know.
Was not able to go to Bishop Allen. As a result, I am slightly heartbroken. Hopefully they will come back again in a year or so.
I had a pretty shitty day today. I think I might be very hormonal. I hope I didn't get pregnant from a toilet seat or anything.
Away Message of the Day:
Exposing: "http://www.exposingsatanism.org/harrypotter2.htm
In a particularly distasteful and lewd display, Potter tries to tempt the rightfully furious Angel by raising his pant leg and showing him his nude ankle. In this way the Harry Potter books contribute to the hidden gay agenda. When this temptation is refused, he has a malignant house spirit who embodies all the evils of stem-cell research curse the angel down."
ETA: It is about four A.M. and I am in a terrible temper. As a result, I am not only awake, but awake and watching television with the sound off and my music on as I peruse the vast internets (but mostly just porn). The subject of the television programme I am watching appears to be this boy who wanders around hotels getting randomly accosted by attractive ladies. This is disturbing
A) Because the boy is not particularly attractive.
B) Because the boy looks a bit like a lady himself.
C) Because I think this is a music video, and I also think I just saw said boy's O face.
D) This is totally unrelated, but my lip hurts a lot because I keep rubbing it with my shirt collar and there's not a lot of skin left on it now, I don't think.