(no subject)
I'm going to apply for Cambridge. Not that I'm in any way expecting to get in, but yeah. If I don't apply I won't get that certainty that only a rejection can give me. 'Whatifs' are shit.
Plus, it would be amusing if I got past the first round and had to ask my school for a few days off so I can go to England for the interview. It's unlikely, I know, but the look on my teachers' faces would be priceless.
I'm also going to apply for Leiden, but I'm not counting on getting let in there. Does having a Gymnasium diploma give you any kind of head start? Does anyone here know? I hope it does, else it's five years of hearing about that whiny bitch Dido for bugger all.
Gerk, university. It's disturbingly close. I'm sort of hoping that I'm going to have to stay here in Holland, because it'll be easier. But I also really want to be able to go to university in England, just for that wonderful feeling I get from making a fresh start. And I'll be able to say the letter 'w' without sounding like prat.
I'm really not all that fussed about the prospect of having to do my exams. If I fail, I fail. Tough shit. Get to spend another year living for free. I'm pretty sure I'll scrape through, though, bearing in mind my wonderful reaction to stress. It's the stuff that comes after that that I'm worried about. Yes, I know that it's a year away, but I've got to start messing around with it now. I get nervous just thinking about all the applications, all the long-term effects a single error can cause. I think it's making me blotchy.
Say I do get into Cambridge or Leiden. That'd be fun. Cambridge more so, but I'm not that delusional. What are the chances that I'm just going to mess it up completely? I shudder at the thought of the workload. At my current school I've managed to scrape by, doing only the stuff that is really nessecary or the stuff I particularly enjoy. I'm positive that there will be a shitload more if/when I get accepted anywhere.
And I'm not going to grow anymore, am I? I'm 18 now, I'm not going to get another growth spurt, methinks. I was always hoping for one. I've got hips, knees and elbows that are too broad for me to be this short! Fuckers. And my face is stuck like this too. I wasn't hoping for my nose to miraculously shrink or anything (that's up there with Cambridge) but I don't know. Maybe the whole face could have shifted a little to become more flattering. I wasn't expecting it, but there was always that possibility. But not anymore. Now I'm stuck, with only plastic surgery to make me look less... 'unique', let's say that so as not to be too self-depricating.
Oh and don't even get me started on the tax and bank crap. I wish I could hire a proffessional mourner to pull her hair out at the loss of my childhood. Yes this is over-dramatic seeing as I am only 18 but I don't care. Right now I'm just having a bit of a stress-out over the loss of safe procrastination.
The world seems a lot less enjoyable now. At least I have silly rock music to cheer me up.
Plus, it would be amusing if I got past the first round and had to ask my school for a few days off so I can go to England for the interview. It's unlikely, I know, but the look on my teachers' faces would be priceless.
I'm also going to apply for Leiden, but I'm not counting on getting let in there. Does having a Gymnasium diploma give you any kind of head start? Does anyone here know? I hope it does, else it's five years of hearing about that whiny bitch Dido for bugger all.
Gerk, university. It's disturbingly close. I'm sort of hoping that I'm going to have to stay here in Holland, because it'll be easier. But I also really want to be able to go to university in England, just for that wonderful feeling I get from making a fresh start. And I'll be able to say the letter 'w' without sounding like prat.
I'm really not all that fussed about the prospect of having to do my exams. If I fail, I fail. Tough shit. Get to spend another year living for free. I'm pretty sure I'll scrape through, though, bearing in mind my wonderful reaction to stress. It's the stuff that comes after that that I'm worried about. Yes, I know that it's a year away, but I've got to start messing around with it now. I get nervous just thinking about all the applications, all the long-term effects a single error can cause. I think it's making me blotchy.
Say I do get into Cambridge or Leiden. That'd be fun. Cambridge more so, but I'm not that delusional. What are the chances that I'm just going to mess it up completely? I shudder at the thought of the workload. At my current school I've managed to scrape by, doing only the stuff that is really nessecary or the stuff I particularly enjoy. I'm positive that there will be a shitload more if/when I get accepted anywhere.
And I'm not going to grow anymore, am I? I'm 18 now, I'm not going to get another growth spurt, methinks. I was always hoping for one. I've got hips, knees and elbows that are too broad for me to be this short! Fuckers. And my face is stuck like this too. I wasn't hoping for my nose to miraculously shrink or anything (that's up there with Cambridge) but I don't know. Maybe the whole face could have shifted a little to become more flattering. I wasn't expecting it, but there was always that possibility. But not anymore. Now I'm stuck, with only plastic surgery to make me look less... 'unique', let's say that so as not to be too self-depricating.
Oh and don't even get me started on the tax and bank crap. I wish I could hire a proffessional mourner to pull her hair out at the loss of my childhood. Yes this is over-dramatic seeing as I am only 18 but I don't care. Right now I'm just having a bit of a stress-out over the loss of safe procrastination.
The world seems a lot less enjoyable now. At least I have silly rock music to cheer me up.