Caught in the middle of all this business...
So it comes down to this.
3 days left here at home, and then I pack up my stuff into my car and drive 100 miles north to my new home, for the next four years.
Lately it's just been a whirlwind of preparation...I don't really even feel like I should be writing this entry, becuase I didn't feel like I had much to write. But I'm forcing myself to...because this journal is like a digital camera that I can document my life in -- wait too long to capture it, and the moment's gone. You don't remember what pose you were in, and exactly how happy/sad/frustrated/mad/etc. you were at that very moment.
I have two full bags sitting in the living room, that contain most of my summer/fall/spring clothing. And I still need to pack my winter clothes, becuase my mom and I have agreed that after seeing today's weather, SB probably won't get very hot anymore. I didn't realize how many clothes I had accumulated until now. I'm such a girl, lol.
I switched my phone number onto Verizon and bought my laptop today. I love how it takes 2 months of full time work for you to earn money, yet it takes you 10 seconds (maximum) to spend it all with one swipe of your Visa or Mastercard. I'm pretty excited about my laptop though, it's got all this spiffy stuff on it, and the added bonus of using an Ethernet connection should make things fun.
But I'm blabbing about trivial things. What I really wanted to post was that my emotions at this time are changing like a chameleon. I'm scared, nervous, excited...it's all thrown together into this one big amalgam in my stomach. This move has been stressful, weird, and emotional -- and we haven't even gotten to Sunday yet! Sometimes I wonder what sort of toll this is taking on my mom. So far she's seemed okay with all that's going on...but I have no idea if she's really fine or if she's feeling torn up, etc. I wonder how I'm going to feel when the day actually comes, and I actually see my parents turn around and drive home. I had to say goodbye to my best friend last night, and it was so hard...we were both crying (just a little) becuase it really felt like it was the end, for some reason. 7 years of friendship, and we've only grown closer throughout the last 4 years, in high school. She told me we were soulmates, and that you couldn't separate us if you tried, that even if we were in different countries she'd fly to visit me. The only thing I remember thinking in my head was, "What is going on here? What am I doing?" It was a long time before I felt it was okay to see her drive off.
Alicia called me today while I was in Glendale, and we both agreed that we must get together for one last bit of insanity before I move...Saturday, hopefully. I realized, during that phone call, that I was going to miss her a lot and that not living half a block away from her was going to take some getting used to.
Staring at a billboard, I realized I was going to miss Los Angeles a lot...living here for 18 years, you get used to all the smog, traffic, culture, diversity, and business around you. There's always something going on in LA, good or bad, I guarantee you that.
Ahh. That's enough out of me for right now, my thoughts aren't being translated into words very well.
so this is how, oh this is how it comes to end
a meeting ground between everything and all that's been
so save me, so send me away from here
our time has come, you can barely deal with all your fears.
3 days left here at home, and then I pack up my stuff into my car and drive 100 miles north to my new home, for the next four years.
Lately it's just been a whirlwind of preparation...I don't really even feel like I should be writing this entry, becuase I didn't feel like I had much to write. But I'm forcing myself to...because this journal is like a digital camera that I can document my life in -- wait too long to capture it, and the moment's gone. You don't remember what pose you were in, and exactly how happy/sad/frustrated/mad/etc. you were at that very moment.
I have two full bags sitting in the living room, that contain most of my summer/fall/spring clothing. And I still need to pack my winter clothes, becuase my mom and I have agreed that after seeing today's weather, SB probably won't get very hot anymore. I didn't realize how many clothes I had accumulated until now. I'm such a girl, lol.
I switched my phone number onto Verizon and bought my laptop today. I love how it takes 2 months of full time work for you to earn money, yet it takes you 10 seconds (maximum) to spend it all with one swipe of your Visa or Mastercard. I'm pretty excited about my laptop though, it's got all this spiffy stuff on it, and the added bonus of using an Ethernet connection should make things fun.
But I'm blabbing about trivial things. What I really wanted to post was that my emotions at this time are changing like a chameleon. I'm scared, nervous, excited...it's all thrown together into this one big amalgam in my stomach. This move has been stressful, weird, and emotional -- and we haven't even gotten to Sunday yet! Sometimes I wonder what sort of toll this is taking on my mom. So far she's seemed okay with all that's going on...but I have no idea if she's really fine or if she's feeling torn up, etc. I wonder how I'm going to feel when the day actually comes, and I actually see my parents turn around and drive home. I had to say goodbye to my best friend last night, and it was so hard...we were both crying (just a little) becuase it really felt like it was the end, for some reason. 7 years of friendship, and we've only grown closer throughout the last 4 years, in high school. She told me we were soulmates, and that you couldn't separate us if you tried, that even if we were in different countries she'd fly to visit me. The only thing I remember thinking in my head was, "What is going on here? What am I doing?" It was a long time before I felt it was okay to see her drive off.
Alicia called me today while I was in Glendale, and we both agreed that we must get together for one last bit of insanity before I move...Saturday, hopefully. I realized, during that phone call, that I was going to miss her a lot and that not living half a block away from her was going to take some getting used to.
Staring at a billboard, I realized I was going to miss Los Angeles a lot...living here for 18 years, you get used to all the smog, traffic, culture, diversity, and business around you. There's always something going on in LA, good or bad, I guarantee you that.
Ahh. That's enough out of me for right now, my thoughts aren't being translated into words very well.
so this is how, oh this is how it comes to end
a meeting ground between everything and all that's been
so save me, so send me away from here
our time has come, you can barely deal with all your fears.