Memories of such a life that i will try!

[twistedtweety]

So when feelings are so strong that you are over your head with emotions all you want to do is express those feelings. Well for all this to work out I have to show none of those feelings all right at the beginning. I want to see where things are in a month and a month after that. I see us together and happy and maybe a year living with each other or maybe sooner. I know when I get my own place he will be there a lot more and maybe staying more often. I would really like that. I believe that I have said all my feelings with out doing any harm. Now I have heard his feelings and yes I know where you stand MY LOVE….That’s why I want you to give me a chance. But yes I really don’t want to be your rebound girl. That would kill me inside and I would hate you. You are still so sheltered from a lot of things and you don’t know how to take me sometimes and that is ok. I have lived a life that you maybe have not thought of anyone living. Yes a wait and wait for you to wake up in the morning to only message me to say good morning. Or I anticipate the moment you say you want to come see me or go out. I love the way you feel or touch me or cresses me, the simple of things that people forget and that is to look deep in to your eyes or just a simple thank you for absolutely nothing just for being there or being who you are and no I don’t want that to change unless you are changing for your self. I have thought about you so much that yes I’m so afraid that I don’t want you to be hurt or me be hurt and I don’t want to lose what we have. But I know there has to be time don’t know how much time so I guess that’s where taking it day by day comes in to play. And yes I can go on for ever for what I want to do for you, like I said in the car the other day I would love to give you the world. If you let me I would love to take you to Cali or out to Hawaii with me when I go. I would love to have you next me to when I cry or when I am happy or when I go out of state to just get away. And if I can’t give you the world I would like to show you it at least. My heart is more then willing and is open for all that you have to show me and would love to help you with all that you have on your shoulders. You have the cutest kids in the world and I know that they come first and I am willing to support you in that. I want to show you that I can be there for you at anytime or anywhere with anything you need or that I need. You are not use to a girl that can show or express so much emotions to you cuz you shy away from it and I know why you do cuz you don’t want to be hurt and that is so understanding. If I have to wait for a year for you to be ready then ill wait. No I have never done that for anyone. Nor have I had these feelings for anyone. I don’t even know what the feelings I have for you til we both feel them. I don’t want to pour my heart into you with only getting rejected, which hurts the most. I’m not afraid of life or what it holds or how things turn out or anything it has to bring. I am afraid of the rejection from you that you don’t want me and I have come to terms to that but god it still would hurt so bad. I long to say the words that are so hard to say. But the time has not stated that its time for it. So if I jump to fast then I will lose you. So as much as I want to say those three little words I will hold them back with some emotions. Which does change a few things since I cant show you all of them I can’t quite be me to the fullest but damn I will try. I love touching you, Looking at you and making you smile as much as you make me smile. I want to just be in the same room as you nothing more at times. I feel that happiness and joy that you only get when it’s really ment to be. I do not want you to be hurt by your ex anymore I wish for you to replace that pain that she gives you with the Love that I have for you omg I said it. But I don’t want you to forget that pain for that is a part of you and it would only take away what I so long to want and touch and feel. I see you but where am I in this world of yours plz say its next to you on your side backing you up with full content to move forward in life and thrive for what life has to give. Yes I have to say I would spoil your kids to the fullest only for the satisfaction that they would be happy. It’s not the items but for kids it is and I would love to show them the world too. As much as I can. As much as I would be supporting you I would be supporting your children and that I have no problems with. They would love what I could do for there life also.

On the side that I don’t want to think about it that I stand here waiting and waiting and you find someone else. Life would do that to me and I know I can’t recent you for it. There are a lot of pretty girls out there. But your not going to come across one like me that has a head on her shoulders and that knows what it is to be a companion or to show that person that you really care or take care of your self while still being there for the other person.

You have the motivation that I am looking for in a partner and you have the desire to help me as much as I am to help you. I see what we have but it’s just from what I see. I can’t see what you see because I am only me and I just hope that you can in time see what we have and please don’t forget me. When life does tell us what we are suppose to do or be promise me that I get to have you at least in my life so that I may call upon you to be my friend that I know is so close.

With all my heart I will be here for you,
Every ounce of joy I can give you,
You will have it,
Love is solicitude toward a person,
Let me do that for you.
I promise that I will not stray from my path,
And of all things that you open your heart me to,
For all I have done is open mine to yours.

I wish I could send this to you but that is where I know It would be broken. These are my feelings that I have to hold in.