It's Complicated 1/1
Elena hates the way that he looks at her. She hates that he doesn't get that she loves Stefan. It's always going to be Stefan.
She hates that she's so afraid to tell him that she's known that he loves her since the very first incident with Elijah. She'd been on vervain. Of course she'd been on vervain. Her necklace had been gone.
She hates that she actually kind of likes the way he feels about her. She hates that it makes her feel something. She hates that it's not even as simple as breaking up with Stefan. She loves Stefan, she wants to be with him.
If she didn't, she wouldn't be. But she does. She doesn't want to be with Damon.
She doesn't want to like the fact that people like her. Okay, guys like her.
Maybe she's special, maybe it's because she looks like Katherine--maybe it's her very blood that makes her so attractive. Her blood shouldn't make her a bitch though.
She hates that she can't just tell him that she loves him as a friend.
She hates herself when she says, "I like you just the way you are," when she doesn't.
She hates the way he feels about her, the way he treats her friends, the way he treats humans in general. She doesn't like the man he is--except when he's good.
He almost killed her brother. She can't love him. but she almost could. Maybe. Almost. She hates herself for that too.
She hates the fact that everything is so hard. That she hurts people--Matt and Damon aren't the only casualties. They aren't the only ones to love her without getting much in return. She doesn't mean to string them along. She never meant to.
When Matt fell in love with Caroline, she thought she was home free. At least there's that, right? At least it was only Damon.
She wishes he would fall in love(but not with one of her friends, because she actually feels . . . jealous when she sees Caroline and Matt together). It’s easier for her when Caroline falls for Tyler, and Elena doesn’t have to see it anymore.
She feels like an idiot when Bonnie and Damon decide they’re in love with each other.
She feels jealous and angry, and she hates them both. (She doesn’t really, but she wishes she did.)
She hates the way that she’s so confused all the time, and that she can never say any of it aloud, because it would make her a bad person.
She hates the fact that she not nearly as nice as she’s supposed to be. Perfect Elena, all the time. It’s an act she doesn’t even try to put on. She doesn’t feel that way inside. She just feels lonely and mean, and tired of all of the vampires, and the drama, and the fact that she can’t just grow old with the only person who matters. Stefan.