August 22, 2015 - Addams (FR-13)
August 22, 2015 - Addams (FR-13)
Alt Title: Day 22 - Addams
Author: mmooch
Chapter Summary: When Morticia discovers that she’s pregnant, the Addams family decides it’s time to go home.
Crossover: Harry Potter, The Addams Family
Rating: FR-13.
Word count: 629
Challenge: for the livejournal 2015 August Fic-a-Day Challenge.
Timeline: Storywise - Spring/Summer of 1982
Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. HP characters belong to JK Rowling. The Addams Family characters belong to Charles Addams, Filmways and MGM Television (through The Program Exchange). I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
The Shrieking Shack
“Thank you for agreeing to meet us here, Headmistress,” Gomez said by way of greeting Buffy. “We have a lot to finish before we leave.”
Buffy smiled, despite her nerves being on edge in this house. The reputation of the house didn’t concern her - especially since she had talked to the Marauders about some of the supposed ‘haunted’ sounds that Remus was responsible for during his transformations. No, it was the fact that the Addams family lived there for several months and had time to add who knows what kind of nightmarish creatures/plants/crimes against nature and humanity…all in the name of making it more ‘homey’.
“I hear from Hagrid that congratulations are in order,” she said. “You and Morticia are expecting a baby?”
“It’s wondrous news, isn’t it?” Gomez asked rhetorically. “But that means we need to go home; she said that she’d rather have the comforts of home during her pregnancy: her own bed of nails, the family rack, the--”
“I assume there was more to your invitation than just telling me that you were going back to the States,” Buffy interjected before she could hear anymore. She got the impression that S&M people would get freaked out by this couple.
Her comment drew him from his wistful daze. “Precisely!” he exclaimed. “I have two propositions to make which concern the school. I’d like to go into business with you…in a manner of speaking. From my understanding, the school governors are squeamish about the Acromantula colony being so close to the school. Cowards, the lot of them! They’d make a wonderful challenge for the students!”
Since Buffy agreed with the governors on this one, she remained silent.
Before he went on a tangent about weak-willed wizards raising scaredy-cat children, Gomez made his proposal, “I would like to take the Acromantula to one of our family islands and breed them. While I have the funds to purchase them outright, I thought it might be more beneficial if I purchased them by giving the school 1% of the product and 25% of the profit from the ranch.”
Buffy thought she understood, but asked for clarification, “By product, you mean…?”
“Venom, silk, meat,” Gomez confirmed.
She nodded in relief. “So no baby monster spiders.”
“No,” he answered with his trademark grin. “What do you think?
It took Buffy about a second and a half to reach her decision. “You’ve got a deal, Gomez,” she said, holding her hand out to shake his.
The board might scream that she didn’t negotiate a higher percentage, but to her this was a win-win. The school got rid of a major threat to the area, and would receive money for agreeing to the idea. The loss of profits didn’t compare to the risk of a student dying when one of the spiders decided it wanted something tastier than a sheep.
“Marvelous! While I have you in such an agreeable mood, I’d like to steal your groundskeeper - but just during the summers; you can have him back for the school years. Hagrid and Fester get along famously, and Fester mentioned a project he wanted Hagrid’s assistance with. Would that be acceptable to you?” Gomez asked.
“If Hagrid wants to work with your brother, I have no problem…as long as it isn’t anything illegal,” Buffy added because she somehow felt it was necessary to qualify her statement.
“Not in the slightest,” Gomez assured her. Technically, he was telling the truth since laws didn’t reach the island where Fester and Hagrid would hold their breeding experiments. But it was just as well that he didn’t tell Buffy what they planned to cross. ‘For a Slayer, she seemed rather skittish as well,’ Gomez thought. ‘She might be scared of the Quintaped/Acromantula hybrid they were planning.’
A/N: This one was for you, Harry
Alt Title: Day 22 - Addams
Author: mmooch
Chapter Summary: When Morticia discovers that she’s pregnant, the Addams family decides it’s time to go home.
Crossover: Harry Potter, The Addams Family
Rating: FR-13.
Word count: 629
Challenge: for the livejournal 2015 August Fic-a-Day Challenge.
Timeline: Storywise - Spring/Summer of 1982
Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. HP characters belong to JK Rowling. The Addams Family characters belong to Charles Addams, Filmways and MGM Television (through The Program Exchange). I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
The Shrieking Shack
“Thank you for agreeing to meet us here, Headmistress,” Gomez said by way of greeting Buffy. “We have a lot to finish before we leave.”
Buffy smiled, despite her nerves being on edge in this house. The reputation of the house didn’t concern her - especially since she had talked to the Marauders about some of the supposed ‘haunted’ sounds that Remus was responsible for during his transformations. No, it was the fact that the Addams family lived there for several months and had time to add who knows what kind of nightmarish creatures/plants/crimes against nature and humanity…all in the name of making it more ‘homey’.
“I hear from Hagrid that congratulations are in order,” she said. “You and Morticia are expecting a baby?”
“It’s wondrous news, isn’t it?” Gomez asked rhetorically. “But that means we need to go home; she said that she’d rather have the comforts of home during her pregnancy: her own bed of nails, the family rack, the--”
“I assume there was more to your invitation than just telling me that you were going back to the States,” Buffy interjected before she could hear anymore. She got the impression that S&M people would get freaked out by this couple.
Her comment drew him from his wistful daze. “Precisely!” he exclaimed. “I have two propositions to make which concern the school. I’d like to go into business with you…in a manner of speaking. From my understanding, the school governors are squeamish about the Acromantula colony being so close to the school. Cowards, the lot of them! They’d make a wonderful challenge for the students!”
Since Buffy agreed with the governors on this one, she remained silent.
Before he went on a tangent about weak-willed wizards raising scaredy-cat children, Gomez made his proposal, “I would like to take the Acromantula to one of our family islands and breed them. While I have the funds to purchase them outright, I thought it might be more beneficial if I purchased them by giving the school 1% of the product and 25% of the profit from the ranch.”
Buffy thought she understood, but asked for clarification, “By product, you mean…?”
“Venom, silk, meat,” Gomez confirmed.
She nodded in relief. “So no baby monster spiders.”
“No,” he answered with his trademark grin. “What do you think?
It took Buffy about a second and a half to reach her decision. “You’ve got a deal, Gomez,” she said, holding her hand out to shake his.
The board might scream that she didn’t negotiate a higher percentage, but to her this was a win-win. The school got rid of a major threat to the area, and would receive money for agreeing to the idea. The loss of profits didn’t compare to the risk of a student dying when one of the spiders decided it wanted something tastier than a sheep.
“Marvelous! While I have you in such an agreeable mood, I’d like to steal your groundskeeper - but just during the summers; you can have him back for the school years. Hagrid and Fester get along famously, and Fester mentioned a project he wanted Hagrid’s assistance with. Would that be acceptable to you?” Gomez asked.
“If Hagrid wants to work with your brother, I have no problem…as long as it isn’t anything illegal,” Buffy added because she somehow felt it was necessary to qualify her statement.
“Not in the slightest,” Gomez assured her. Technically, he was telling the truth since laws didn’t reach the island where Fester and Hagrid would hold their breeding experiments. But it was just as well that he didn’t tell Buffy what they planned to cross. ‘For a Slayer, she seemed rather skittish as well,’ Gomez thought. ‘She might be scared of the Quintaped/Acromantula hybrid they were planning.’
A/N: This one was for you, Harry