The Force Shall Set Me Free
Title: The Force Shall Set Me Free
Author: kerrykhat
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: PG
Summary: Corusca sits in an empty chamber, focusing on the words Sidious had repeated to her over and over again since her training began.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and related characters; Lucasfilm owns "Star Wars" and related characters; I own nothing.
Word Count: 1290
Author's Note: Response to the prompt, "anger" at tth100. Part of the Broken Chains verse.
Corusca sits in an empty chamber, legs crossed, eyes closed. Sidious had instructed her to meditate on the Sith Code, to internalize it and make it part of her. Only when she understood its meanings could she continue her training to more advanced techniques. He didn’t need to tell her what would happen if she failed. In the months since her training began, her master made very clear that failure is something rewarded only with punishment.
So here she is, on the abandoned planet she’s started thinking of as home, waiting for Sidious’ return from Coruscant. Perhaps, once she mastered this, he would take her back with him. Determination filling her, she sinks into a trance, focusing on the words Sidious had repeated to her over and over again since her training began.
Peace is a lie. There is only passion.
That, perhaps, is the hardest for her to accept. She knows that peace exists. She felt it, back before. After she died for Dawn, to save her from a fate she had no part in choosing. She remembers being warm and safe and loved. That memory helped sustain her throughout her enslavement to Krayn when anger wasn’t enough.
But then, the peace had only been temporary. She had only been surrounded by it for a short period of time before being ripped away. And its loss claws at her every day that she is here in this hell. Even after months of being alive again, colors were still too bright, noises too loud, edges too sharp. Everything just reminds her what she had lost and could probably never regain. If peace is truly real, something that could be obtained, then it wouldn’t be a temporary thing whose lost grated at her day after day.
Passion, though. Passion is real. Something she can hold onto. Hate, love, joy, grief. Passion is everywhere. Someone had told her once that without passion, they would be truly dead.
If peace is temporary, Corusca decides, flipping through her memories and examining them one by one, passion was eternal. It would be with her no matter what, and the day she truly lacked passion in any sense would be when she died.
Through passion, I gain strength.
That is easy enough for Corusca to accept. Before, when she had been the Slayer, had been called Buffy Summers, passion fueled her. She remembers telling another girl to use anger, to let it drive her fighting. She made it through Angelus and Drusilla alive. Kendra didn’t. Without anger, without her passion for life, she would be dead several times over.
But passion without tempering would burn through her and leave her an empty shell. Angelus was all passion and fire, and though it served him well, in the end it wasn’t enough. She needs to be in control of her passions, to steer them on the correct course. Left untamed, they would leave her as vulnerable and weak as if she ignores them.
Corusca remembers one of the times when she let passion undo her: when she lacked the follow through to kill Angel when she had the chance. Her lack of mastery had led to death and suffering. It had been a moment of weakness she couldn’t allow to happen again.
If she wanted to be strong and survive, she would need to find ways to temper her passions. She would not be ruled by them again. Corusca would be strong. Failure and weakness were not options. To be a Sith is to be a master of oneself; at least, that’s what Sidious tells her.
Her passions give her strength, but only if she’s strong enough to control them and not let them control her instead.
Through strength, I gain power.
Only through being strong, through surviving could Corusca gain power. A smile curls on her lips. Out of all the tenets of the Sith, this is one that resonates the most with her. The weak die. The strong survive. Power belongs to those who fight for it, who demonstrate that they deserve to wield it. Not just through mastering the Force, but through mastering others.
That was something Buffy had been too weak to see. She had been stronger, better than the others. Faith had seen it, through, but had lacked conviction to fully follow through. Corusca, on the other hand, didn’t. She had been weak, been deprived of any power other than what she claimed for herself. She isn’t about to let that happen again. She needs to be strong enough to seize power when she encounters it. Otherwise, she’s no better than the girl she used to be.
Through power, I gain victory.
Victory without gain is meaningless. Victory without demonstrating her superiority is as bad as a defeat. She may be able to beat Sidious occasionally in combat, but without the power to truly end him and claim the title of Master, the victory is worthless.
Corusca remembers before, back when she had been fighting evil day in and day out. She had won battles, yes, but in the end, it never stopped. It just kept coming and coming, and in the end she hadn’t been strong enough. Maybe, if she had truly embraced the power within her, she could have ended the fight and claimed a true victory over the Hellmouth.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
Sidious, when instruction her, said that a Sith strives for constant perfection. Through victory, through power and strength and passion, a Sith could break through the restrictions they and others put on them. Only the Sith’ari, the order’s founder, had achieved this level. Everybody else fought to match and exceed his example.
Despite dying and being reborn in this dimension, Corusca can feel the weight of her past pressing on her. Her memories of before draw her back when she should press forward; restrain her when she should be reveling in freedom. If she wants to fulfill her potential and move beyond what she is now, she needs to destroy those chains. Burn them and revel in the flames. The problem is, however, that detaching herself is nearly impossible.
In her mind’s eye, she pictures Buffy Summers standing before her. Corusca wants to reach out and strangle the girl, punish her for her weakness and her inability to truly leave her be. She moves towards her, but draws short. In the shadows stands Dawn and those she once called friends. Destroying Buffy’s ghost would mean destroying them as well. She tries to hold on to memories of betrayal and hurt, and for several moments, it works. But when she reaches Dawn and Tara, her resolve falters. Dawn is part of her, made from her, and the urge to protect her is still strong. And Tara, who never harmed her, who comforted Buffy, just stares at her with sad, knowing eyes.
Corusca pushes down the memories. She knows that there will come a day that she will be strong enough, powerful enough, to truly bury those ghosts. That isn’t today. The chains of the past still bind her, but not forever. One day, she knows, she’ll break them and never look back.
The Force shall free me.
Opening her eyes, Corusca takes a deep breath and smiles. Yes. One day, once she masters the Force and makes it into her servant, she will be free. Free from memories and Sidious and the lingering sense of weakness. Free from the girl she despises and can’t seem to escape. The Force has given her so much already, and one day, once she finishes reforging herself, it will give her the ultimate reward.
Freedom.
Author: kerrykhat
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: PG
Summary: Corusca sits in an empty chamber, focusing on the words Sidious had repeated to her over and over again since her training began.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and related characters; Lucasfilm owns "Star Wars" and related characters; I own nothing.
Word Count: 1290
Author's Note: Response to the prompt, "anger" at tth100. Part of the Broken Chains verse.
Corusca sits in an empty chamber, legs crossed, eyes closed. Sidious had instructed her to meditate on the Sith Code, to internalize it and make it part of her. Only when she understood its meanings could she continue her training to more advanced techniques. He didn’t need to tell her what would happen if she failed. In the months since her training began, her master made very clear that failure is something rewarded only with punishment.
So here she is, on the abandoned planet she’s started thinking of as home, waiting for Sidious’ return from Coruscant. Perhaps, once she mastered this, he would take her back with him. Determination filling her, she sinks into a trance, focusing on the words Sidious had repeated to her over and over again since her training began.
Peace is a lie. There is only passion.
That, perhaps, is the hardest for her to accept. She knows that peace exists. She felt it, back before. After she died for Dawn, to save her from a fate she had no part in choosing. She remembers being warm and safe and loved. That memory helped sustain her throughout her enslavement to Krayn when anger wasn’t enough.
But then, the peace had only been temporary. She had only been surrounded by it for a short period of time before being ripped away. And its loss claws at her every day that she is here in this hell. Even after months of being alive again, colors were still too bright, noises too loud, edges too sharp. Everything just reminds her what she had lost and could probably never regain. If peace is truly real, something that could be obtained, then it wouldn’t be a temporary thing whose lost grated at her day after day.
Passion, though. Passion is real. Something she can hold onto. Hate, love, joy, grief. Passion is everywhere. Someone had told her once that without passion, they would be truly dead.
If peace is temporary, Corusca decides, flipping through her memories and examining them one by one, passion was eternal. It would be with her no matter what, and the day she truly lacked passion in any sense would be when she died.
Through passion, I gain strength.
That is easy enough for Corusca to accept. Before, when she had been the Slayer, had been called Buffy Summers, passion fueled her. She remembers telling another girl to use anger, to let it drive her fighting. She made it through Angelus and Drusilla alive. Kendra didn’t. Without anger, without her passion for life, she would be dead several times over.
But passion without tempering would burn through her and leave her an empty shell. Angelus was all passion and fire, and though it served him well, in the end it wasn’t enough. She needs to be in control of her passions, to steer them on the correct course. Left untamed, they would leave her as vulnerable and weak as if she ignores them.
Corusca remembers one of the times when she let passion undo her: when she lacked the follow through to kill Angel when she had the chance. Her lack of mastery had led to death and suffering. It had been a moment of weakness she couldn’t allow to happen again.
If she wanted to be strong and survive, she would need to find ways to temper her passions. She would not be ruled by them again. Corusca would be strong. Failure and weakness were not options. To be a Sith is to be a master of oneself; at least, that’s what Sidious tells her.
Her passions give her strength, but only if she’s strong enough to control them and not let them control her instead.
Through strength, I gain power.
Only through being strong, through surviving could Corusca gain power. A smile curls on her lips. Out of all the tenets of the Sith, this is one that resonates the most with her. The weak die. The strong survive. Power belongs to those who fight for it, who demonstrate that they deserve to wield it. Not just through mastering the Force, but through mastering others.
That was something Buffy had been too weak to see. She had been stronger, better than the others. Faith had seen it, through, but had lacked conviction to fully follow through. Corusca, on the other hand, didn’t. She had been weak, been deprived of any power other than what she claimed for herself. She isn’t about to let that happen again. She needs to be strong enough to seize power when she encounters it. Otherwise, she’s no better than the girl she used to be.
Through power, I gain victory.
Victory without gain is meaningless. Victory without demonstrating her superiority is as bad as a defeat. She may be able to beat Sidious occasionally in combat, but without the power to truly end him and claim the title of Master, the victory is worthless.
Corusca remembers before, back when she had been fighting evil day in and day out. She had won battles, yes, but in the end, it never stopped. It just kept coming and coming, and in the end she hadn’t been strong enough. Maybe, if she had truly embraced the power within her, she could have ended the fight and claimed a true victory over the Hellmouth.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
Sidious, when instruction her, said that a Sith strives for constant perfection. Through victory, through power and strength and passion, a Sith could break through the restrictions they and others put on them. Only the Sith’ari, the order’s founder, had achieved this level. Everybody else fought to match and exceed his example.
Despite dying and being reborn in this dimension, Corusca can feel the weight of her past pressing on her. Her memories of before draw her back when she should press forward; restrain her when she should be reveling in freedom. If she wants to fulfill her potential and move beyond what she is now, she needs to destroy those chains. Burn them and revel in the flames. The problem is, however, that detaching herself is nearly impossible.
In her mind’s eye, she pictures Buffy Summers standing before her. Corusca wants to reach out and strangle the girl, punish her for her weakness and her inability to truly leave her be. She moves towards her, but draws short. In the shadows stands Dawn and those she once called friends. Destroying Buffy’s ghost would mean destroying them as well. She tries to hold on to memories of betrayal and hurt, and for several moments, it works. But when she reaches Dawn and Tara, her resolve falters. Dawn is part of her, made from her, and the urge to protect her is still strong. And Tara, who never harmed her, who comforted Buffy, just stares at her with sad, knowing eyes.
Corusca pushes down the memories. She knows that there will come a day that she will be strong enough, powerful enough, to truly bury those ghosts. That isn’t today. The chains of the past still bind her, but not forever. One day, she knows, she’ll break them and never look back.
The Force shall free me.
Opening her eyes, Corusca takes a deep breath and smiles. Yes. One day, once she masters the Force and makes it into her servant, she will be free. Free from memories and Sidious and the lingering sense of weakness. Free from the girl she despises and can’t seem to escape. The Force has given her so much already, and one day, once she finishes reforging herself, it will give her the ultimate reward.
Freedom.