Fic: Around the Marvel Universe in 31 Days #13
Title: Around the Marvel Universe in 31 Days
Author: JoeHundredaire (joehundredaire@tthfanfic.org)
Rating: PG-13/FR15.
Disclaimer: Right, I actually went and checked to be sure this time… Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel: the Series, and all associated characters belong to Fran and Kaz Kuzui. With a myriad of writers, artists, and editors, actual rights are a nightmare when you go near a comic book universe. Suffice it to say that Marvel Entertainment LLC owns all of the property printed in their comics, along with the television and movie adaptations of said same property. Not mine, don't sue, and so forth and so on.
Summary: Dawn decides to disregard the Scoobies' advice and have a heart-to-heart with a vengeance demon. Adventures ensue.
Joe's Note: Psst. Hey tchizek. Guess what? I'm about to dís you, three times over…
"So, do you always walk around blabbing top secret information to strangers, or am I special?"
"The way I see it, why not tell you what you want to know? Who the fuck are you going to tell?"
"Someone? Anyone?"
"And then since you don't actually exist in this universe, there won't be anybody to notice when SHIELD makes you disappear. Permanently."
"Oh. Heh. Yeah." Dawn took a bite from her donut - a Boston kreme that was decidedly not fat-free that she'd accepted just to shut Faith up - and studied the memorial in front of her. It was one of the major differences between California and New England: the age of… well, everything. Sunnydale, for instance, had been founded in 1899. Boston, on the other hand? Dawn was pretty sure some of the city's potholes dated back that far. Shifting from foot to foot as she stared at the bronze relief sculpture, Dawn let out a resigned sigh as Faith's hand remained on her right ass cheek. As long as Faith kept providing useful exposition, though, she supposed she couldn't complain too much. Quid pro quo and all that. "Any chance you know what the story is between Nat and Wanda? Because I've just got this feeling that it goes beyond the whole 'she's an evil mutant and I'm a do-gooder' thing."
Throwing her head back, Faith laughed loudly at that. And laughed. And laughed some more. When she finally regained control, Faith took a deep breath, opened her mouth… and then started laughing again. Throwing her hands up in the air, Dawn turned and stalked away. Not only was standing in one place incredibly unpleasant in the frigid Bostonian February, but she was kinda curious about the sprawling park that Faith had brought her to. She was halfway down the walking path to an interesting-looking bronze fountain by the time Faith finally caught back up with her. "Sorry! Sorry! It's just… wicked hilarious. All right, so, you know how Wanda can use her powers to give people makeovers?"
Dawn paused at the question, meeting Faith's eyes before looking quite pointedly down at herself. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure I do."
"…right. So okay, Nat and I are out on a mission last summer. SHIELD got intel that Magneto's children were running around Venice, so we flew over there to find out what they were up to." Raising her left arm, Faith gestured to the bracelet she was wearing. "It was my first mission with this, which locks me into a human form twenty-four seven. So Nat let me do a lot of the intelligence-gathering for her, kinda as a way to make up for SHIELD keeping me locked in different bases for over a decade. Oh, don't look at me like that; it wasn't like they could let me go to school with the other kids when I kept spontaneously turning into a rainbow. Anyway, I was Intelligence Girl for the mission, which meant I was the one who tracked the twins down… and found out that they were just on a two week romantic getaway. Kinda gross, but obviously not illegal."
Holding up a hand, Dawn cut Faith off as she offered a correction… and a shudder of disgust. "Try really, really gross."
Faith shrugged. "I dunno, she's wicked hot. The gross part for me is that she's dating a boy. Now her and Lorna, on the other hand? Or you and Emma? I'd be cool with that." Pinching the bridge of her nose, Dawn sighed. No. Nyet. Nice no-ing you. Even if her new twin sister did have an ass that… no! No, no, and a world of no! "Where was I? Oh, right, so I track the twins down and we're talking and SHIELD's listening in… and then Nat gets wicked pissed because I'm about ready to let them get back to their date. So she comes hauling ass across the city by jumping from roof to roof, drops into the alley we're in, and then-"
♪ Here come the Men in Black, Men in Black! It's the MIBs! Here come the MIBs! ♪
"Hold up, I gotta take this." Faith's hand dipped into her pocket and she pulled out an iPhone of her own, accepting the call and toggling the speakerphone. "Yo."
"Agent Lehane. We're getting some interesting readings from near your location." The bland male voice didn't belong to someone that Dawn had met so far, but was obviously someone Very Important by the way Faith came to attention. "To be precise, it appears to match the signature of the Einstein-Rosen Bridges that Doctor Foster observed in Puente Antiguo. The terminus should be fairly easy to find; please make your way there with all possible haste. If it's Thor, ask him to accompany you back to where Agents Romanova and Morse are. If it's not, perform a threat assessment and requisition additional assets as necessary."
Eyes widening, Faith began looking around wildly, eventually settling on a point off to Dawn's right. Following the brunette's line of sight, Dawn found herself staring at… a tornado wrapped around a beam of rainbow light? What the hell? "All possible haste, sir?"
"Yes."
With that final word, the call disconnected… and Faith let out a whoop before stuffing her phone back into her pocket and tearing the bracelet off her left wrist. "Next stop: the pot of gold!" Sweeping Dawn up into her arms, Faith flexed her legs and launched herself skyward, corkscrewing as she rose into the air. "It's probably just Thor having the aim of a twelve-year-old, but if it's not? I'm praying it's Sif. I saw a few shots of her from when she was in New Mexico… yowza. Talk about a heavenly figure."
Clinging to Faith's shoulders, Dawn did her best to keep from wetting herself as the ground went whipping by at a high rate of speed. "Wait, Thor and Sif as in the Norse gods? Hahaha no. Turn around and fly me in the opposite direction. Because the last time I got up close and personal with a god, things ended badly. Like, people dead sort of badly."
"Sorry, but my chain of command goes Fury, Coulson, Nat, and then whichever pretty girl I'm trying to get with this week. Besides, we're out of time. They're already here." Faith nodded, directing Dawn's attention forward as a thicker pulse of light raced down the rainbow beam, hitting the ground with a thunderous boom and sending a cloud of dirt racing outward in every direction. "Now c'mon. Maybe if we're lucky, it'll turn out to be hot blond chicks in chainmail bikinis or something." Circling the impact site, Faith waited for the energy beam and its accompanying tornado sheath to disappear before diving downward into the middle of the dust cloud. That proved to be a remarkably bad idea as they landed neatly in the middle of three women, all of whom whirled around and brought well-maintained and very lethal-looking melee weapons to bear on the glowing girl. "Well fuck."
Well they weren't all blondes and none were wearing chainmail, Dawn mused, but they were certainly all hot. Directly in front of them, the tip of her golden sword pressing against Faith's throat, stood a statuesque redhead who was easily a head taller than Dawn herself. Her outfit was definitely the kind of thing Dawn would have associated with a mystical warrior woman: a mix of silver armor and sapphire fabric, accompanied by dark brown leather pants and knee-high boots. Off to the left and a few steps behind the pair stood an equally tall and even bustier woman with her blond hair cut in a chin-length bob. Her outfit was decidedly less practical, though: a sleeveless white top with what could only be described as a cleavage window cut into it, a knee-length skirt made of red leather strips woven together, and furry boots that looked like they'd been made out of a wooly mammoth or something. And in a positioning mirroring the blonde's off to Dawn and Faith's right was a significantly shorter Latina who seemed remarkably uncomfortable in a blue overbust corset and brown leather skirt, both of which were trimmed with tan fur.
The sword remained pressed against Faith's throat for a few seconds longer before retreating, its red-haired owner slipping it into a sheath on her back. "The Deathwatch is upon you, Faith Lehane. Live well, and you might someday join our ranks." Stepping forward, she held her hand out to Dawn. "But you, Dawn Summers… Heimdallr the All-Seeing requests your presence. Immediately."
Dawn chuckled nervously as she looked around. Badass chicks that ran errands for the gods and recruited women to join their number… she was willing to bet good money that she was dealing with valkyries. And given there were three of them compared to one of her, and she didn't even know how to use her mutant powers properly yet? Resistance was quite likely futile. "Sure. What the hell? Everyone else seems to want to talk to me today. Why not a Norse god?" Wiggling out of Faith's arms, she dropped to the ground and took a step forward, accepting the redhead's hand. "So, you know who I am. Do I get to know who you are?"
"…my apologies. I suppose that after a while, you start taking for granted that everyone in Asgard knows everyone else." The redhead jerked Dawn forward, pulling the brunette close and wrapping both arms around her. "I am Brynhildr Budlidóttir. You may call me Brynhildr."
That was a mouthful. And a faceful, Dawn thought with a blush, turning her head to the side so that it - rather than her face - was pressed against Brynhildr's breasts. The blonde valkyrie actually laughed and winked at her as she approached, bringing her hand down on Dawn's shoulder with wince-worthy force. "And I am Kára Halfdandóttir."
The last valkyrie announced her presence by pressing up against Dawn's back, snaking an arm around the brunette's waist from the right. There was a loud snicker followed by the distinctive simulated shutter noise that accompanied the use of an iPhone's camera, but Dawn forced herself not to react. She could get Faith back later, when a freaking god wasn't asking to see her. "My name is Charisse Kennedy. Gotta say, you and Faith were the last people I expected to see here. Where's Buffy?"
Dawn's eyes widened, but Brynhildr spoke before she could respond. "Heimdallr. Open the Bifröst." And the world went all Faith-colored around her as something latched onto Dawn and yanked her upward.