Medley
Title: Medley
Author: Wyndewalker
Xover Fandom: Uhm, Marvel and DC Comics, and Star Wars?
Series: Karaoke
Summary : Lorne loves it when the conventions come to town because he can wander around in 'costume'.
Challenge: twistedshorts August-Fic-A-Day
Authors note: Complete and utter crack.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,025 according to Word
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Marvel Comics, DC Comics, Star Wars, Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the lyrics of any of the songs mentioned herein. All rights belong to their owners and I merely borrow the characters for your amusement.
Lorne hummed happily to himself while he finished up some paperwork. It had been a great day. One of the big comic conventions was in town which meant it was a lot easier for him to walk openly on the street. He’d even bought a ticket and spent some time there getting plenty of compliments on his ‘costume’. That had been a hoot. It was amazing how willfully blind humans could be.
Judging by the sounds coming through his office door the joint was rocking tonight and he hadn’t been called to do a reading yet. Making note of the final numbers, he closed the ledger with a happy sigh. Not only did everything balance but the club was running well in the black. All in all a good day.
Ready to start his night, Lorne slipped on his royal purple suit jacket and left the office. Whoever was on stage was doing a wonderful rendition of Michael Buble’s Haven’t Met You Yet. Humming along, he danced his way down the hallway to the club proper. He was halfway to the bar when what he was seeing actually registered.
Oh no.
No no no.
This couldn’t be.
Just as panic was starting to set Mario appeared in front of him.
“Take a deep breath, boss. It’s just the convention. It’s just a bunch of people in costumes pretending to be their favorite comic book characters. Or movie characters,” he amended three people in Jedi robes wandered by. “Come on. We’ll get you a drink at it’ll all be good. Right, boss?”
“Sure, yeah. A drink and it’ll all be good,” Lorne muttered letting himself be led to the bar.
“Thank you, thank you! You’re all awesome. Really, I mean it.”
Lorne looked over to see a dark-haired man wearing a rather realistic copy of the Iron Man armor with the helmet off take a bow before walking off stage. He shuddered quickly turning away. It was just a guy in a costume. That’s it. Just a costume. Sinking down onto one of the stools at the bar, he eagerly took the drink Mario handed him, downing it in two gulps. Just a costume, he repeated to himself, smiling tightly at the Wolverine look-alike sitting next to him. The guy just grunted at him, chewing on an unlit cigar, bottle of Labatt Blue in hand. Lorne whimpered. Just a costume. Just a costume.
“We are the Justice League and we’ll be singing a medley for you tonight.”
He knew he shouldn’t turn around. He knew it was a really bad idea. It was a colossally bad idea. The worst bad idea he could ever possibly have. He turned around anyway because it was a like a car wreck on the side of the road. No matter how many times you told yourself you weren’t going to look… you looked anyway.
Slowly Lorne turned around to find Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, and Aquaman standing on his stage. They all had microphones. This was not good. The music started.
No. Just, please, no.
“Young man, there a place you can go
I said young man, when you’re short on your dough
You can stay there and I’m sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.
It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
They have everything for young men to enjoy
You can hang out with all the boys.”
The Justice League was doing the YMCA dance on his stage. Worse, Mario was wrong. These weren’t just people from the convention in costume. The actual Justice League of Heroes was doing the YMCA dance on his stage. Suddenly the music changed.
Wonder Woman took center stage with the rest of the League standing behind her doing a classic backup singer hip bop.
"(Ooh) What you want
(Ooh) Baby, I got
(Ooh) What you need
(Ooh) Do you know I've got it
(Ooh) All I'm askin'
(Ooh) Is for a little respect when you come home (Just a little bit)
Hey baby (Just a little bit) when you get home
(Just a litte bit) mister (Just a little bit)
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care, TCB"
The music changed again with Green Lantern taking center stage this time, proving to Lorne that his hell had only just begun. Lorne blinked. The Green Lantern’s costume had shifted so that it now looked like he was wearing parachute pants.
Cold on a mission so fall them back
Let 'em know, that you're too much
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch
Yo, I told you
(You can't touch this)
Why you standin' there, man?
(You can't touch this)
Yo, sound the bell, school is in, sucka
(You can’t touch this)
Once more the music changed with the League moving so they were back in line together.
“Heeeey, Macarena!”
The Justice League was doing the Macarena on his stage. The Justice League was doing the Macarena on his stage. This apparently was the final straw for Lorne and he passed out.
*****
Lorne bolted upright with a gasp looking wildly around. One minute he was watching the Justice League do the Macarena on his stage and suddenly he was sitting up in bed. On his nightstand was his unripped ticket for the comic convention and a program. Flailing desperately, he finally located the remote control for his tv and turned it on wuickly flipping to a news channel. It was the morning of the first day of the convention.
A nightmare. The whole thing had been a nightmare. Finding his phone, he quickly dialed a number.
“Mario? Yes, I know we only closed a few hours ago. We’re not opening tonight. Scratch that. We’re not opening at all this weekend. Not until that convention is out of town. Everyone will get paid but we’re not opening. Just… We’re not opening. I’ll see you Monday.” Hanging up, he huddled in a ball on his bed. A nightmare. It had all just been a nightmare.
Lorne nearly cried when he caught himself humming Macarena.
Finis
Wasn't really sure how to tag this so I just selected all the ones that might apply. Feel free to retag.