August 31: After Love
Title: After Love
Series: Marry Me
Author: Vashti (tvashti)
Fandom: Marry Me (2022), BtVS
Character(s): Buffy Summers, Angel, Faith Lehane, Willow Rosenburg, Xander Harris, Oz, Rupert Giles
Rating: PG/FR-13
Summary: Pop star Buffy Summers, is set to get married to the love her life in front of 20 million of her best friends. Only for it to all fall apart instead.
Length: ~3,400 words
Disclaimer: Only the words are mine, and that’s probably up for philosophical debate.
Notes: Fusion story with the 2022 movie, Marry Me (spoilers in the link). It's not an amazing movie, but somehow it has sucked me in (thank you Amazon Prime for streaming it free...). If you haven't seen it, you *should* be able to read this and subsequent stories just fine. If you have seen it, you'll quickly notice that I am not slavishly following the script. Stuff in italics are lifted straight from the movie.
Someone stepped into Buffy's line of vision as she let her masseuse pummel her overworked muscles back into functionality. She looked up and smiled. "Hey Faith."
"Yo, B. Guess who I got on the phone for you."
"Angel!"
"Buffy!" was the equally warm reply from the phone in Faith's hand.
Levering herself on her elbows, Buffy turned to the masseuse and dismissed him with a smile. "Thank you so much, Andrew."
"Of course, Miss Summers." Andrew wrapped her in a blanket to keep her muscles warm then gathered his supplies. "Good luck tonight. And congratulations!"
"You dipwad," Faith said, sneering. "You don't say 'good luck' to a performer."
Andrew paled. "I thought that was just the theater."
Holding the blanket close to her chest, Buffy sat up more. She reached a hand out towards Andrew. "Don't let Faith get under your skin. I know what you were trying to say and I thank you so much, Andrew."
"Yes, of course, Miss Summers."
"Great. Faith, make sure my next appointment is in the calendar."
The dark-haired woman sighed deeply. "Sure."
"Thank you," Buffy said with a toothy smile. She knew the other woman was as dramatic as her curly dark hair. "Now gimme!" Buffy made grabby hands for the phone Faith still held.
"Almost forgot about lover-boy. Don't do anything I wouldn't," she added with a wink as she handed the phone over to boss and friend.
"And what exactly wouldn't you do?"
Faith tossed her a saucy smile as she walked backwards out of the room.
Buffy patiently watched both Faith and Andrew leave before she even glanced down at the phone in her hands. She couldn't help the goofy smile that pulled at her face as she wiggled her fingers at the man on the other end. "Hi."
Expression equally warm, Angel returned the simple greeting, adding. "I miss you."
"Me, too, but after tonight..."
"After tonight we run away forever, never to be seen or heard from again."
Buffy burst into delighted laughter. "And where exactly could the two of us disappear forever?"
Angel tapped his chin thoughtfully, pulling a giggle from his fiancee. "Hmm. Maybeeeee...Cleveland?"
"Ohio?"
"Sure. Would you look for you in Cleveland?"
"Never. Not in a million years."
Angel grinned. "There. It's settled. After the wedding and the concert, we run away to Cleveland and start our lives together as..."
"Husband and wife."
"Of course husband and wife, but what are we going to do with ourselves?"
"According to the internet, making beautiful babies who cry in harmony".
Angel snorted. "I can't believe you read those things."
Buffy shrugged, then settled herself prone on the massage table. "We have amazing fans. They're very excited for us. They want our fairytale to have a happy ending."
"The fans are great, but I know those aren't the only comments online, Buff. Even for someone as well established and beloved as you are. The bigger you are the more people feel like it's their right to take potshots."
"You're right. You're always right about these things. But it's fine! I’m fine. And you know why?"
"Why?
"Tonight the fairytale comes true."
"In front of a couple million of our best friends."
Buffy half-groaned, half-chuckled. "I know this was our idea, and I *do* want to share this with the fans, but I also wish we could just *get married*. The closer we get the more I wish it was just us."
"Nothing about our lives has been just us, Buff," Angel said not unkindly.
"You're too young to be this wise."
"It's the eyebrows," he said, waggling them.
Buffy dissolved into giggles.
*-*-*
Sitting carefully rigid as hair and makeup worked on her in tandem, Buffy rewatched the interview she'd done the day before with Hoda Kotb for Good Morning America.
Someone tapped Buffy's arm, startling her out of her circling thoughts. "Ms. Summers, please come this way for last minute fittings."
Buffy didn't know the young man, but she let him lead her to where she was supposed to go.
*-*-*
"This is it! Are you ready for tonight?" Willow, her friend and social media coordinator, asked as she drew Buffy into a fierce one-armed hug.
Buffy squeezed Willow tight. “I am absolutely *not* ready for tonight, but I also can’t wait. Is that normal?”
“You tell me, Four Times Married one.”
“It’s not four until I marry Angel.”
They quickly dissolved into giggles. “Okay, okay. We have to be serious. The fans are *dying* for behind the scenes deets. Are you ready to do a live?” she asked, wiggling her phone. "If it's too much, just say the word."
Buffy took a deep breath and smiled. “Let’s do this.”
*-*-*
There was nothing, nothing, like being on stage. No matter how big or small the venue, it always felt different full of people. There was an energy that came from being in their presence. From the stage, Buffy couldn’t see more than the lights of phone screens and the occasional shine on eyeglasses. But she could *feel* them. And it fed her. It was better than drugs and just as addictive.
Even the end of the first song did nothing to diminish her high. She and her dancers cascaded backstage to change into their wedding costumes while Angel sang his opener. They would do the rest of the concert together after they took their vows.
Willow almost collided headlong with her just as she reached her dressing room. "Oh em gee!"
"I know!" The squealed together. "Okay, okay. There's not a lot of time. Are you here to help or fangirl?"
"Can't I do both?" And with that, Willow was helping Buffy out of the skintight "Church" costume while the rest of the team got her gown ready.
"I think I say this every time, but you make a beautiful bride, Buffy."
Buffy took a seat. "Where's Xander?" Her tour manager.
"Probably stage directing."
"Oh no."
Willow giggled. "I'll get him. This is a concert, not a military exercise."
"Please use those exact words!"
The truth was that a concert of this size and complexity *was* like a military exercise, but Xander could go too far if he wasn't reeled in every now and then.
Buffy was felt as light and airy as the layers and layers of her wedding gown. It really was too much...just like the feeling in her chest. Was she really going to sing a ballad with Angel after they took their vows? What was she (something was wrong with the stage hands) thinking? No way she was going to make it through her (there were too many) vows without breaking down, (just standing there) how exactly was she going to remember actual--
"What is everyone looking at?" Buffy demanded as the veil was affixed to her hair. Everyone around her startled, but only hair and makeup managed not to look guilty. "What’s going on?" Buffy growled.
Before she could snatch someone’s phone, Xander appeared, sliding smoothly between her and the staff. "Come on, Buff. It's time. You're on."
Concert venues, no matter how spacious for concert-goers, were all a warren of narrow twisting hallways behind-the-scenes. With a production as involved as hers, backstage was full to bursting with people moving in all directions. Or they should have been.
Just like in hair and makeup, Buffy's eyes caught on the knots of people seemingly standing around doing nothing. But they weren't doing nothing….
Xander wouldn't let her slow down, but Buffy hadn't survived thirty years in the industry by being unobservant. No one was meeting her eyes.
Finally they were at the platform that would take her onstage. Alone.
Buffy met Xander's eye. "What's going on? Everyone's acting weird. Something is wrong. Tell me!"
Xander flushed. "We'll deal with it later."
"Deal with what? Xander, give me your phone." Like everyone else, he had his phone in his hand. And the screen was live.
"Buffy, it's nothing."
"If it's nothing then give me your phone."
He hesitated.
"Now!"
It took her mind a second to catch up to what her eyes saw. There was a headline she didn't bother reading, not when the video was so much more compelling. Faith. And Angel. Arms wrapped around each other. Dark heads nearly indistinguishable. Grasping at a door. Falling through it backwards. Together.
Then the video looped again.
The platform began to rise. Xander's phone began to fall. Their eyes met and he mouthed something but there was something wrong with Buffy's eyes...and her ears. Like when she got water in her ears. But how? How, when she felt bloodless and brittle.
Then she was on stage. A mic was pressed into her hands. Music was playing. And there were her dancers. Like a dream. A horrible dream.
"Can you stop the music..." She felt the press of all the eyes on her. A horrible dream.
"Can you turn up the house? Can we turn up the house lights?" She needed to see...
Buffy took a step forward and slipped. Murmurs, gasps. But it cleared her head a little. The stupid gown... She'd forgotten to lift the skirt so she could walk. Again.
Her dancers reached out to help her.
She was okay, and told them so. She continued to move down the set-piece, carefully holding the dress. "I'm told that 20 million people are supposed to watch me sing Marry Me to the love of my life...and then watch as we take our vows.
"So it's only natural that I should want to see who I'm talking to."
Finally downstage, Buffy smiled despite the strange mix of horror and numbness. Smiled at Xander, hovering in the wings. This, right here, with her fans, this had always been her home and her first true love. And as they always did, her fans lifted her up on the sound of their love.
"It's only natural that I say something, if not about marriage then about love. Because that's what we're all looking for, right?"
It was the wrong thing to say. Instead of clarifying things for her, suddenly she was thrown into memories of all her failed relationships (Angel the pop star, Alucard the rich European noble, Riley the soldier, and Parker the college student) and their one common denominator.
"We get so caught up in what we want our lives to be that we forget what our love actually is..."
Herself.
"...a lie. A fairy tale that you sold yourself so long ago that you forgot it wasn't real.
"But deep down you know."
She was equal parts hot and cold. Time was a rubber band stretching and snapping unpredictably. Had she been crying? Buffy's sinuses felt terribly stuffy but when her fingers fluttered over her face she was dry as stone.
There were stones in her belly. How could she have been so stupid?
"You realize that it wasn't love at all. You were just in love with the idea of who you wanted that person to be, you can't marry an idea." She turned to look at Xander, so he would know that she was calling the wedding off the way he'd always hoped she would, only to me Angel's eyes instead. She smiled. Smiled at him. Smiled and felt the stones churn within her as he walked away.
Buffy turned back to the audience. "You know they say if you want something different you have to do something different. So this time for the first time you make a different choice. You jump off a cliff so how you can't even see the fall."
The crowd shifted...parted...revealed a man with bright red hair holding a sign.
"And you just..."
A sign that read 'marry me' in big block letters.
"...say yes. Why not? Sure, I'll marry you. You." Buffy pointed at the redhead.
If Buffy thought Xander was being protective it was nothing compared to what her impulsive decision was pulling out of him. He even came onstage to berate her. "Have you lost your mind?"
More mindful of her very hot mic than he was, Buffy was pointing it down and towards the crowd to help drown out their conversation. "Careful Xan. The camera will be coming back this way any second.”
Xander swore but scarpered. It was all Buffy could do not to giggle. She hadn't been this calm and sure of her own reckless decision since she the time she had decided that the only way to save her then-teenaged baby sister from would-be kidnappers was to jump in front of their moving car. Doctors had wondered if she would live, let alone get onstage again. She never regretted it.
She was that sure again. And before she knew it she was that married. Buffy didn't even know his name, but she kissed him anyway. And again when it turned out he was a really good kisser.
At least he's a good kisser! Buffy reasoned as their lips met for a second and third time. She also now knew that he was small, slender, but also compact and sturdy feeling under her hands. His hands were surprisingly calloused at the fingertips. She felt like that should mean something to her, but she couldn't place it at the moment as they were hustled off stage.
"Have you lost your mind?"
"Not only did you already ask me that, but you are only allowed to snarl at me once per day," was Buffy's pointed reply to Xander's demand. "And you were already over your limit onstage."
"I get two when you're performing," he reminded her.
"Fine. You're over your limit now."
Before they could get into it, Willow appeared and joined the mobile madness. "Did you really just marry some rando?" she asked with her unusual tactlessness.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "He's not a rando. He's--"
"Oz," he smoothly supplied.
Buffy popped the P on her answering "Yup!" extra hard. Her new husband, Oz, chuckled. The stones in her belly melted a little at the sound.
Until they were stopped by Angel and his entourage. "Buffy..."
"Get out of my way. I don't want to talk to you."
"Let me explain."
"There's nothing to explain. You slept with my assistant and I had to find out from Page Six."
"Page six?" she heard Oz mutter behind her.
"We're done, Angel. Get out of my way.”
"Just let me explain. It was after that big fight in Vegas,"
"So this is my fault?" Her voice was full of furious how-dare-yous, but she did remember that night like sucker punch to the gut. Her hands clutched convulsively...and met the hand still held tightly in her own. Buffy threw a glance at Oz.
"No, Buffy. That's not what I mean," Angel said, reaching for her.
Only for it to be intercepted by Oz coming to stand between them. "She asked you to leave."
The change in Angel was immediate. Fury that Buffy had rarely seen during they're relationship contorted his beautiful face into something almost unrecognizable. "And who do you think you are?"
Oz stood his ground. "I didn't know anything about either of you until a few days ago--"
"Yeah right."
"--but it doesn't take a super fan to see deeply you’ve hurt her. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, but tonight you're going to pretend you had every intention of being a good husband by putting yourself second and--"
"Buffy," she smoothly inserted.
"--and her needs first." He turned unerringly to Xander. "Lead the way." Oz retook Buffy's hand Together they followed her manager past her gobsmacked ex-fiance.
More than a little shocked herself, Buffy once again tripped over the ridiculous hemline of her dress. Oz immediately stopped and she waved off his concern. "This dress is going to be the death of me," she muttered as she lifted it. They were moving again in seconds.
The SUV came into view, surrounded by a flashing sea of paparazzi . Their entire entourage slowed.
"I hope not."
"Huh?" Buffy turned to look at Oz.
Who was watching the madness ahead with unflinching calm. "I that your dress won’t be the death of you. It would really suck to become a husband and widower on the same night. Very Lifetime special presentation."
That startled a laugh out of her.
"And nothing that lovely should ever cause you harm." He squeezed her hand. "I think they're ready for us."
*-*-*
The ride to her apartment was largely silent. Buffy had had to let go of Oz's hand to wrestle herself and her dress into the SUV. She missed it. But whether it was Oz specifically or the heavy weighted reassurance of another hand in hers, Buffy couldn't say.
They pulled up outside the private underground entrance. Xander was already waiting. Between herself, Xander, the bodyguard who had ridden shotgun and Oz they managed to get the yards of champagne tulle out of the car without ripping anything. Buffy carefully held up the hem.
She half turned to close the door and talk to Oz. "My driver will take you anywhere to want to go."
" good." And he did look relieved. It occurred to Buffy that he might not know where they were, that maybe he was in as much shock as she was.
"We'll talk."
"Sure. Yeah. We should do that. Tomorrow is Saturday?"
Buffy turned to Xander, who nodded in confirmation. "Yup."
"I should probably give you my number."
"Give it to Xander. No room for a phone in this thing."
"How does something that voluminous not have pockets?"
"Right? Thank you! Anyway... Thank you again,--"
“Oz.”
She smiled at him, ignoring the way it hurt. “I remember.”
“Actually it’s Daniel. Daniel Osbourne.”
“I like Oz better.”
“So do I.” He smiled. She ignored the way it hurt and turned to go. “I’m sorry about that whole thing with the ex. I know you can take care of yourself.”
Buffy shrugged. “It was nice. To be protected.”
“You gonna be okay?” he called to her.
She smiled and turned away.
Willow was waiting for her by the elevator. Together they got her safely back into her apartment. It was dark save for the lights of New York shining through her floor-to-ceiling windows. “Do you need anything?”
Buffy shook her head, smiled, and ignored the way it hurt. Frowning, Willow gathered her friend into a hug. “Call me if you need me.”
“Mmm.”
The walk across her penthouse suite never felt so long. The dress, the dress she had agonized over, was never so heavy. Like every other bad decision in her life, it dragged on her.
Somehow she she found herself veil off but still dressed, sitting on the end of the chaise in her bedroom, skipping through late night television, watching herself make perhaps the worst decision of her life in at least three languages.
“Buffy… Willow told me where to find you”
“Giles.”
It was like she had been waiting for him, like his presence was the signal that it was finally safe to fall apart. Her hands went to her mouth to stifle the sound she could feel in her chest as her mentor rushed to her side.
“Oh my dear girl,” he said, kneeling at her feet.
“I messed up. I let everyone down.” Her voice was unsteady. “Fans, sponsors, the team… Everyone. The lawyers are going to have a field day.” She started to laugh but it immediately turned into a sob.
Giles gathered her in his arms.
“Why do I always do this? Mom would be--”
“No, Buffy.” Giles drew back to look her firmly in the eye. “No matter how you feel or what anyone says, never ever think for one moment that Joyce was anything but proud of you. I know you’re thinking about that one horrible time. But I also remember her bringing a proverbial baseball bat to an executive director’s meetings when they were trying to kill your career. Angel is lucky your mother isn’t here or he’d be singing in a higher register forever.”
That got a teary laugh out of Buffy. “Thank you…” But it couldn’t last.
“We shall work this out,” Giles said, pulling Buffy close again. “Don’t you doubt it.”
Fin
Notes2: First of all, this story was about 1,500 words longer. I will definitely be posting the longer version on AO3 at some point. Second, it's taken me waaaaaay too long to get this together. Not the story's fault, for once. Purely me. My own suckiness notwithstanding, it's been a great FAD anyway. You guys (mods, writers, readers) make it something to look forward to every year.
Series: Marry Me
Author: Vashti (tvashti)
Fandom: Marry Me (2022), BtVS
Character(s): Buffy Summers, Angel, Faith Lehane, Willow Rosenburg, Xander Harris, Oz, Rupert Giles
Rating: PG/FR-13
Summary: Pop star Buffy Summers, is set to get married to the love her life in front of 20 million of her best friends. Only for it to all fall apart instead.
Length: ~3,400 words
Disclaimer: Only the words are mine, and that’s probably up for philosophical debate.
Notes: Fusion story with the 2022 movie, Marry Me (spoilers in the link). It's not an amazing movie, but somehow it has sucked me in (thank you Amazon Prime for streaming it free...). If you haven't seen it, you *should* be able to read this and subsequent stories just fine. If you have seen it, you'll quickly notice that I am not slavishly following the script. Stuff in italics are lifted straight from the movie.
Someone stepped into Buffy's line of vision as she let her masseuse pummel her overworked muscles back into functionality. She looked up and smiled. "Hey Faith."
"Yo, B. Guess who I got on the phone for you."
"Angel!"
"Buffy!" was the equally warm reply from the phone in Faith's hand.
Levering herself on her elbows, Buffy turned to the masseuse and dismissed him with a smile. "Thank you so much, Andrew."
"Of course, Miss Summers." Andrew wrapped her in a blanket to keep her muscles warm then gathered his supplies. "Good luck tonight. And congratulations!"
"You dipwad," Faith said, sneering. "You don't say 'good luck' to a performer."
Andrew paled. "I thought that was just the theater."
Holding the blanket close to her chest, Buffy sat up more. She reached a hand out towards Andrew. "Don't let Faith get under your skin. I know what you were trying to say and I thank you so much, Andrew."
"Yes, of course, Miss Summers."
"Great. Faith, make sure my next appointment is in the calendar."
The dark-haired woman sighed deeply. "Sure."
"Thank you," Buffy said with a toothy smile. She knew the other woman was as dramatic as her curly dark hair. "Now gimme!" Buffy made grabby hands for the phone Faith still held.
"Almost forgot about lover-boy. Don't do anything I wouldn't," she added with a wink as she handed the phone over to boss and friend.
"And what exactly wouldn't you do?"
Faith tossed her a saucy smile as she walked backwards out of the room.
Buffy patiently watched both Faith and Andrew leave before she even glanced down at the phone in her hands. She couldn't help the goofy smile that pulled at her face as she wiggled her fingers at the man on the other end. "Hi."
Expression equally warm, Angel returned the simple greeting, adding. "I miss you."
"Me, too, but after tonight..."
"After tonight we run away forever, never to be seen or heard from again."
Buffy burst into delighted laughter. "And where exactly could the two of us disappear forever?"
Angel tapped his chin thoughtfully, pulling a giggle from his fiancee. "Hmm. Maybeeeee...Cleveland?"
"Ohio?"
"Sure. Would you look for you in Cleveland?"
"Never. Not in a million years."
Angel grinned. "There. It's settled. After the wedding and the concert, we run away to Cleveland and start our lives together as..."
"Husband and wife."
"Of course husband and wife, but what are we going to do with ourselves?"
"According to the internet, making beautiful babies who cry in harmony".
Angel snorted. "I can't believe you read those things."
Buffy shrugged, then settled herself prone on the massage table. "We have amazing fans. They're very excited for us. They want our fairytale to have a happy ending."
"The fans are great, but I know those aren't the only comments online, Buff. Even for someone as well established and beloved as you are. The bigger you are the more people feel like it's their right to take potshots."
"You're right. You're always right about these things. But it's fine! I’m fine. And you know why?"
"Why?
"Tonight the fairytale comes true."
"In front of a couple million of our best friends."
Buffy half-groaned, half-chuckled. "I know this was our idea, and I *do* want to share this with the fans, but I also wish we could just *get married*. The closer we get the more I wish it was just us."
"Nothing about our lives has been just us, Buff," Angel said not unkindly.
"You're too young to be this wise."
"It's the eyebrows," he said, waggling them.
Buffy dissolved into giggles.
*-*-*
Sitting carefully rigid as hair and makeup worked on her in tandem, Buffy rewatched the interview she'd done the day before with Hoda Kotb for Good Morning America.
Someone tapped Buffy's arm, startling her out of her circling thoughts. "Ms. Summers, please come this way for last minute fittings."
Buffy didn't know the young man, but she let him lead her to where she was supposed to go.
*-*-*
"This is it! Are you ready for tonight?" Willow, her friend and social media coordinator, asked as she drew Buffy into a fierce one-armed hug.
Buffy squeezed Willow tight. “I am absolutely *not* ready for tonight, but I also can’t wait. Is that normal?”
“You tell me, Four Times Married one.”
“It’s not four until I marry Angel.”
They quickly dissolved into giggles. “Okay, okay. We have to be serious. The fans are *dying* for behind the scenes deets. Are you ready to do a live?” she asked, wiggling her phone. "If it's too much, just say the word."
Buffy took a deep breath and smiled. “Let’s do this.”
*-*-*
There was nothing, nothing, like being on stage. No matter how big or small the venue, it always felt different full of people. There was an energy that came from being in their presence. From the stage, Buffy couldn’t see more than the lights of phone screens and the occasional shine on eyeglasses. But she could *feel* them. And it fed her. It was better than drugs and just as addictive.
Even the end of the first song did nothing to diminish her high. She and her dancers cascaded backstage to change into their wedding costumes while Angel sang his opener. They would do the rest of the concert together after they took their vows.
Willow almost collided headlong with her just as she reached her dressing room. "Oh em gee!"
"I know!" The squealed together. "Okay, okay. There's not a lot of time. Are you here to help or fangirl?"
"Can't I do both?" And with that, Willow was helping Buffy out of the skintight "Church" costume while the rest of the team got her gown ready.
"I think I say this every time, but you make a beautiful bride, Buffy."
Buffy took a seat. "Where's Xander?" Her tour manager.
"Probably stage directing."
"Oh no."
Willow giggled. "I'll get him. This is a concert, not a military exercise."
"Please use those exact words!"
The truth was that a concert of this size and complexity *was* like a military exercise, but Xander could go too far if he wasn't reeled in every now and then.
Buffy was felt as light and airy as the layers and layers of her wedding gown. It really was too much...just like the feeling in her chest. Was she really going to sing a ballad with Angel after they took their vows? What was she (something was wrong with the stage hands) thinking? No way she was going to make it through her (there were too many) vows without breaking down, (just standing there) how exactly was she going to remember actual--
"What is everyone looking at?" Buffy demanded as the veil was affixed to her hair. Everyone around her startled, but only hair and makeup managed not to look guilty. "What’s going on?" Buffy growled.
Before she could snatch someone’s phone, Xander appeared, sliding smoothly between her and the staff. "Come on, Buff. It's time. You're on."
Concert venues, no matter how spacious for concert-goers, were all a warren of narrow twisting hallways behind-the-scenes. With a production as involved as hers, backstage was full to bursting with people moving in all directions. Or they should have been.
Just like in hair and makeup, Buffy's eyes caught on the knots of people seemingly standing around doing nothing. But they weren't doing nothing….
Xander wouldn't let her slow down, but Buffy hadn't survived thirty years in the industry by being unobservant. No one was meeting her eyes.
Finally they were at the platform that would take her onstage. Alone.
Buffy met Xander's eye. "What's going on? Everyone's acting weird. Something is wrong. Tell me!"
Xander flushed. "We'll deal with it later."
"Deal with what? Xander, give me your phone." Like everyone else, he had his phone in his hand. And the screen was live.
"Buffy, it's nothing."
"If it's nothing then give me your phone."
He hesitated.
"Now!"
It took her mind a second to catch up to what her eyes saw. There was a headline she didn't bother reading, not when the video was so much more compelling. Faith. And Angel. Arms wrapped around each other. Dark heads nearly indistinguishable. Grasping at a door. Falling through it backwards. Together.
Then the video looped again.
The platform began to rise. Xander's phone began to fall. Their eyes met and he mouthed something but there was something wrong with Buffy's eyes...and her ears. Like when she got water in her ears. But how? How, when she felt bloodless and brittle.
Then she was on stage. A mic was pressed into her hands. Music was playing. And there were her dancers. Like a dream. A horrible dream.
"Can you stop the music..." She felt the press of all the eyes on her. A horrible dream.
"Can you turn up the house? Can we turn up the house lights?" She needed to see...
Buffy took a step forward and slipped. Murmurs, gasps. But it cleared her head a little. The stupid gown... She'd forgotten to lift the skirt so she could walk. Again.
Her dancers reached out to help her.
She was okay, and told them so. She continued to move down the set-piece, carefully holding the dress. "I'm told that 20 million people are supposed to watch me sing Marry Me to the love of my life...and then watch as we take our vows.
"So it's only natural that I should want to see who I'm talking to."
Finally downstage, Buffy smiled despite the strange mix of horror and numbness. Smiled at Xander, hovering in the wings. This, right here, with her fans, this had always been her home and her first true love. And as they always did, her fans lifted her up on the sound of their love.
"It's only natural that I say something, if not about marriage then about love. Because that's what we're all looking for, right?"
It was the wrong thing to say. Instead of clarifying things for her, suddenly she was thrown into memories of all her failed relationships (Angel the pop star, Alucard the rich European noble, Riley the soldier, and Parker the college student) and their one common denominator.
"We get so caught up in what we want our lives to be that we forget what our love actually is..."
Herself.
"...a lie. A fairy tale that you sold yourself so long ago that you forgot it wasn't real.
"But deep down you know."
She was equal parts hot and cold. Time was a rubber band stretching and snapping unpredictably. Had she been crying? Buffy's sinuses felt terribly stuffy but when her fingers fluttered over her face she was dry as stone.
There were stones in her belly. How could she have been so stupid?
"You realize that it wasn't love at all. You were just in love with the idea of who you wanted that person to be, you can't marry an idea." She turned to look at Xander, so he would know that she was calling the wedding off the way he'd always hoped she would, only to me Angel's eyes instead. She smiled. Smiled at him. Smiled and felt the stones churn within her as he walked away.
Buffy turned back to the audience. "You know they say if you want something different you have to do something different. So this time for the first time you make a different choice. You jump off a cliff so how you can't even see the fall."
The crowd shifted...parted...revealed a man with bright red hair holding a sign.
"And you just..."
A sign that read 'marry me' in big block letters.
"...say yes. Why not? Sure, I'll marry you. You." Buffy pointed at the redhead.
If Buffy thought Xander was being protective it was nothing compared to what her impulsive decision was pulling out of him. He even came onstage to berate her. "Have you lost your mind?"
More mindful of her very hot mic than he was, Buffy was pointing it down and towards the crowd to help drown out their conversation. "Careful Xan. The camera will be coming back this way any second.”
Xander swore but scarpered. It was all Buffy could do not to giggle. She hadn't been this calm and sure of her own reckless decision since she the time she had decided that the only way to save her then-teenaged baby sister from would-be kidnappers was to jump in front of their moving car. Doctors had wondered if she would live, let alone get onstage again. She never regretted it.
She was that sure again. And before she knew it she was that married. Buffy didn't even know his name, but she kissed him anyway. And again when it turned out he was a really good kisser.
At least he's a good kisser! Buffy reasoned as their lips met for a second and third time. She also now knew that he was small, slender, but also compact and sturdy feeling under her hands. His hands were surprisingly calloused at the fingertips. She felt like that should mean something to her, but she couldn't place it at the moment as they were hustled off stage.
"Have you lost your mind?"
"Not only did you already ask me that, but you are only allowed to snarl at me once per day," was Buffy's pointed reply to Xander's demand. "And you were already over your limit onstage."
"I get two when you're performing," he reminded her.
"Fine. You're over your limit now."
Before they could get into it, Willow appeared and joined the mobile madness. "Did you really just marry some rando?" she asked with her unusual tactlessness.
Buffy rolled her eyes. "He's not a rando. He's--"
"Oz," he smoothly supplied.
Buffy popped the P on her answering "Yup!" extra hard. Her new husband, Oz, chuckled. The stones in her belly melted a little at the sound.
Until they were stopped by Angel and his entourage. "Buffy..."
"Get out of my way. I don't want to talk to you."
"Let me explain."
"There's nothing to explain. You slept with my assistant and I had to find out from Page Six."
"Page six?" she heard Oz mutter behind her.
"We're done, Angel. Get out of my way.”
"Just let me explain. It was after that big fight in Vegas,"
"So this is my fault?" Her voice was full of furious how-dare-yous, but she did remember that night like sucker punch to the gut. Her hands clutched convulsively...and met the hand still held tightly in her own. Buffy threw a glance at Oz.
"No, Buffy. That's not what I mean," Angel said, reaching for her.
Only for it to be intercepted by Oz coming to stand between them. "She asked you to leave."
The change in Angel was immediate. Fury that Buffy had rarely seen during they're relationship contorted his beautiful face into something almost unrecognizable. "And who do you think you are?"
Oz stood his ground. "I didn't know anything about either of you until a few days ago--"
"Yeah right."
"--but it doesn't take a super fan to see deeply you’ve hurt her. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, but tonight you're going to pretend you had every intention of being a good husband by putting yourself second and--"
"Buffy," she smoothly inserted.
"--and her needs first." He turned unerringly to Xander. "Lead the way." Oz retook Buffy's hand Together they followed her manager past her gobsmacked ex-fiance.
More than a little shocked herself, Buffy once again tripped over the ridiculous hemline of her dress. Oz immediately stopped and she waved off his concern. "This dress is going to be the death of me," she muttered as she lifted it. They were moving again in seconds.
The SUV came into view, surrounded by a flashing sea of paparazzi . Their entire entourage slowed.
"I hope not."
"Huh?" Buffy turned to look at Oz.
Who was watching the madness ahead with unflinching calm. "I that your dress won’t be the death of you. It would really suck to become a husband and widower on the same night. Very Lifetime special presentation."
That startled a laugh out of her.
"And nothing that lovely should ever cause you harm." He squeezed her hand. "I think they're ready for us."
*-*-*
The ride to her apartment was largely silent. Buffy had had to let go of Oz's hand to wrestle herself and her dress into the SUV. She missed it. But whether it was Oz specifically or the heavy weighted reassurance of another hand in hers, Buffy couldn't say.
They pulled up outside the private underground entrance. Xander was already waiting. Between herself, Xander, the bodyguard who had ridden shotgun and Oz they managed to get the yards of champagne tulle out of the car without ripping anything. Buffy carefully held up the hem.
She half turned to close the door and talk to Oz. "My driver will take you anywhere to want to go."
" good." And he did look relieved. It occurred to Buffy that he might not know where they were, that maybe he was in as much shock as she was.
"We'll talk."
"Sure. Yeah. We should do that. Tomorrow is Saturday?"
Buffy turned to Xander, who nodded in confirmation. "Yup."
"I should probably give you my number."
"Give it to Xander. No room for a phone in this thing."
"How does something that voluminous not have pockets?"
"Right? Thank you! Anyway... Thank you again,--"
“Oz.”
She smiled at him, ignoring the way it hurt. “I remember.”
“Actually it’s Daniel. Daniel Osbourne.”
“I like Oz better.”
“So do I.” He smiled. She ignored the way it hurt and turned to go. “I’m sorry about that whole thing with the ex. I know you can take care of yourself.”
Buffy shrugged. “It was nice. To be protected.”
“You gonna be okay?” he called to her.
She smiled and turned away.
Willow was waiting for her by the elevator. Together they got her safely back into her apartment. It was dark save for the lights of New York shining through her floor-to-ceiling windows. “Do you need anything?”
Buffy shook her head, smiled, and ignored the way it hurt. Frowning, Willow gathered her friend into a hug. “Call me if you need me.”
“Mmm.”
The walk across her penthouse suite never felt so long. The dress, the dress she had agonized over, was never so heavy. Like every other bad decision in her life, it dragged on her.
Somehow she she found herself veil off but still dressed, sitting on the end of the chaise in her bedroom, skipping through late night television, watching herself make perhaps the worst decision of her life in at least three languages.
“Buffy… Willow told me where to find you”
“Giles.”
It was like she had been waiting for him, like his presence was the signal that it was finally safe to fall apart. Her hands went to her mouth to stifle the sound she could feel in her chest as her mentor rushed to her side.
“Oh my dear girl,” he said, kneeling at her feet.
“I messed up. I let everyone down.” Her voice was unsteady. “Fans, sponsors, the team… Everyone. The lawyers are going to have a field day.” She started to laugh but it immediately turned into a sob.
Giles gathered her in his arms.
“Why do I always do this? Mom would be--”
“No, Buffy.” Giles drew back to look her firmly in the eye. “No matter how you feel or what anyone says, never ever think for one moment that Joyce was anything but proud of you. I know you’re thinking about that one horrible time. But I also remember her bringing a proverbial baseball bat to an executive director’s meetings when they were trying to kill your career. Angel is lucky your mother isn’t here or he’d be singing in a higher register forever.”
That got a teary laugh out of Buffy. “Thank you…” But it couldn’t last.
“We shall work this out,” Giles said, pulling Buffy close again. “Don’t you doubt it.”
Fin
Notes2: First of all, this story was about 1,500 words longer. I will definitely be posting the longer version on AO3 at some point. Second, it's taken me waaaaaay too long to get this together. Not the story's fault, for once. Purely me. My own suckiness notwithstanding, it's been a great FAD anyway. You guys (mods, writers, readers) make it something to look forward to every year.