Aug 30 - Hey Taxi!
Title: Day 30 - Hey Taxi!
Author: acswatwst
Rating: FR-13
Crossover: BtVS / Ghost Busters (1975)/ Secrets of Isis/ Dr Who / Mary Poppins
Word Count: 944
Disclaimer: This is a derivative work. All BtVS characters and concepts belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox Television, and others. Funimation/NBCUniversal owns the original (1975) Ghost Busters and Secrets of Isis. All things Dr. Who are owned by the BBC. Mary Poppins is owned by Disney?
Note: Time skip. No time to write their escape. Maybe some other time.
Summary: Escaping from Mary Poppins was anti-climactic. ANd now they aren't quite where they started.
"Do you think Bert was one of those Time people?" Joyce said, following Missy and Isis down the empty hallway.
"Just a minion she picked up in some grimy version of London," Missy said. "She's an amateur."
"He wasn't the same kind of ghost," Isis said. "His glow was different."
"Did that kill them?" Joyce asked. "When you used your hand thing?"
"It put them out of phase," Missy said. "Will that kill them? Can't say. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to use this TARDIS without their interference, so it won't matter."
"When the guys use their ghost dematerializer, it's not clear what actually happens to the ghosts," Joyce said. "But they don't do that. I'm not sure they actually know."
"They don't," Isis said. "Eddy said they were told it sends the ghosts somewhere they can't come back from."
"Heaven?" Joyce said. "That's a real place, right?"
"There are different traditions of an afterlife," Isis said. "I can't tell you if any of them are real."
"Those were good times," Missy said, giggling to herself. "Departed spirits will believe almost anything." Stopping in front of a blank wall, she pointed her hand device at it and stared intently at it.
"I don't want to know what you did, do I," Joyce said, watching her.
"It was a masterpiece," Missy said, smirking at her. "Theta got so huffy. It was glorious. Even if he didn't want the army I made him."
"Once you take control, you can take us home?" Isis said. "We still have to find the missing detectives."
"If you're sure you don't want to come with me?" Missy said. "I've never had official companions before. At least not willing ones."
"You kidnap people a lot?" Joyce said, gasping when the wall turned into a doorway.
"It's a hobby," Missy said, stepping forward through the doorway. "This is certainly not a standard TARDIS. But it'll do."
Joyce looked round the brightly lit room. There was an odd crystal column in the center but it was otherwise empty. "How do you drive it?" she asked.
"You don't," Missy said. "And don't touch that!" she said to Isis who was examining the crystal column.
"It's alive," Isis said, frowning at the crystal, as lights flashed across its surface. "It wants to know who we are."
"You're just full of surprises," Missy said. "Don't answer it." She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against the column.
"What's she doing?" Joyce said, in a low voice.
"Arguing with this TARDIS," Isis said. "It wants to know what happened to Mary Poppins. It can't communicate with her."
"Hush," Missy said. "It's being difficult, but I need it to follow my orders. They can be obstinate." Missy placed both hands on the column.
"We don't actually know where she went," Joyce said. "Being 'out of phase' doesn't explain anything."
"No, it doesn't," Isis said. "I am not sure of the exact meaning but if you use a radio as an example, we're at frequency zero, and they're now at a different frequency."
"Yeah, that didn't help," Joyce said. "So, it's just some science mumbo-jumbo?"
"Pet, you have such a way with words," Missy said, grimacing. "They'll take you back, though apparently the building was destroyed. They were running low on energy and transformed it into something more useful."
"But you'll take us back? What will you do then?" Joyce said.
"Things to see, civilizations to collapse," Missy said. "I'll be around. We haven't discussed whatever happened to your memories. You aren't a Time Lord so that explanation won't work."
"What explanation?" Joyce said.
"Meeting yourself is not recommended," Missy said. "Causes awful headaches, among other things."
"We're here?" Isis said. The crystal column flashed through a series of colors.
"They have a mind of their own," Missy said, grimacing. "I'll have to fix that. You're where they think you should be. Now go, before they get any ideas."
A round door on the other side of the room opened.
"Bye," Joyce said, giving Missy an awkward wave.
"Just go," Missy said.
Joyce nodded and turned to follow Isis out of the TARDIS thing. The door closed behind her. Turning, she saw it silently fade from view.
"What was that about?" Joyce said, looking around. "Where are we?"
"The TARDIS decided we'd be safer away from Missy," Isis said. "It finds her amusing, if more chaotic than Mary Poppins."
"Missy did zap Mary and Bert with her thing without warning them," Joyce said. "And she didn't care that she might have killed them."
"She didn't," Isis said. "The TARDIS said they would eventually rephase back and expected to be entertained by Missy having to deal with them."
So you were serious about it being alive?" Joyce said. "Think we'll see them again?"
"Possibly," Isis said. "But now we need to find Patterson and Franklin. They should be around here somewhere according to the TARDIS."
"Where exactly are we?" Joyce said. They were in a long hallway with doors, like a hotel.
"The mansion," Isis said. "Slightly out of phase with regular time."
"Still not understanding that," Joyce said. "Are we stuck here?"
"No," Isis said. "Not if they still have Mary Poppin's scepter."
"I don't know how to use it, do you?" Joyce said.
"I'm sure we'll be able to figure it out," Isis said. "We need to find apartment 221B."
"What floor are we on?" Joyce muttered, looking at a door. "Four hundred? Does that mean we're on the fourth floor?"
"Let's try that way," Isis said, pointing down the hallway. "There'll be stairs or an elevator." Turning she started walking.
"Okay," Joyce said, following her.