Aug 19, 2022 - Cousin Buffy (FR-13)
Aug 19, 2022 - Cousin Buffy (FR-13)
Author: mmooch
Summary: **Part of the 2022 August Fic-a-Day Challenge** The gang is surprised by the blonde cousin coming to visit…specifically the fact she isn’t Penny’s cousin.
Crossover: Big Bang Theory
Rating: FR-13
Word count: 1110
Challenge: for the livejournal 2022 August Fic-a-Day Challenge Also for TTH Challenge #6681 Big Bang Buffy
Timeline: post AU season 4 for BtVS (Glory/Dawn storyline never happened, but Riley still took off); Season 3 for BBT
A/N: I have a horrible leg cramp today which is making it hard to concentrate on writing, so you’re getting this instead of an update to any of the other stories. Call it pain-crack. POV is sort of wonky as the pain meds are kicking in.
Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. BBT characters belong to CBS et al. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
Sheldon and Leonard’s apartment
After finding out about the experiment tampering, Sheldon opened the apartment door, planning to confront Leonard about it, but was stopped by a petite blonde standing there. She appeared to be quite annoyed, but he didn’t even know her, so how could he have annoyed her?
“Where’s Howard?” she snapped. Ah, that clarified things slightly; it was Howard that upset her. That seemed far more likely, given his habit of making obnoxious passes at any woman, much less one as attractive as this one - given social norms of the time.
“He’s in there; please don’t get his blood on my floor,” Sheldon requested, moving around her to continue on his original quest.
While he knocked on Penny’s door, he could hear the woman yelling at Howard, but not for the expected reason. “What the hell are you doing here instead of going home as soon as you landed? You know how much your mom has been freaking out these past months! It’s the whole reason I agreed to come visit. Get your ass in gear and let’s get moving!”
The conversation with Leonard wasn’t pleasant by any stretch of the imagination; his scientific reputation was in tatters and all his friends - were they his friends? - could do was complain about his behavior. They knew he needed his structure, so why did they think that would change in an unfamiliar environment. It would make much more sense that he’d need it even more in that situation.
Through the door, they heard Howard shout, “Owww!” Then somebody started knocking on the door. When Penny opened it, the woman was pinching Howard’s ear as she dragged him into the room.
“Howard has something he’d like to say to you,” she said to him. When Howard hesitated, she glared and added, “Don’t make me persuade you.”
“I’m sorry!” Howard yelled frantically. “It was mean and stupid and childish, and I’ll come clean to the university about what we did!” He glanced at the woman who gave a slight nod of approval, then grabbed Howard’s hand and pulled him back out of the apartment, leaving the rest of them staring at their backs in confusion.
“Who’s she?” Penny asked, “And why is she willingly touching Wolowitz?”
Raj leaned over and whispered in Leonard’s ear, who repeated it out loud, “She’s his cousin, Buffy…really?” he looked at Raj in shock. “Wow, that family’s genetics are all over the place, aren’t they? Alright, bye, you two,” he said trying to push the non-Penny’s out of the apartment.
“Wait!” Penny interjected. “I think I need to know more about this ‘prank’ that Wolowitz has to tell the university about. That sounds like something more than putting Vaseline on a toilet seat or another childish prank.”
By the time she heard the whole story, she looked so disappointed in Raj and Leonard. Without realizing she was repeating his earlier mental thoughts, she asked, “If he can’t handle having different server on Tuesday nights, why would you suddenly think he’d be Joe Chill in the Artic - no pun intended - where he’s completely out of his comfort zone? Even if he had to be threatened into it, Howard’s doing the right thing, and I think you should do it as well. They’re going to know anyway,” she reminded them.
“It’ so unfair!” Leonard complained. “He was making us miserable, and this was our only option other than killing him!”
“You had the option of leaving,” Penny retorted, starting to look pissed off, which made them all take a step backwards, even Sheldon, who she was sort of defending in her own way.
Penny’s apartment
The next day…
Penny opened the door and saw Howard’s cousin standing there, smiling at her. “Penny, right?” she asked.
“Yeah. Are you really Howard’s cousin? Is one of you adopted?” Penny inquired.
“Actually, yes to both questions. Aunt Debbie’s sister, my mom, couldn’t have kids and for some reason they thought a kid would fix the problems in their marriage. Spoiler alert, it didn’t. It just took another 14 years for things to fall apart completely. But I’m not here to talk about my drama…do you know where Sheldon is?”
“Why?” Penny asked warily. After the fiasco of the night before, she was feeling rather protective of her preying mantis friend, and yes, Buffy had forced Howard to do the right thing, but it still didn’t make her trust the unknown woman entirely.
“I figured he needed a little cheering up and a tiny nerd bird told me he loves Star Trek, so I thought I’d take him to a small convention in San Francisco. Shatner or Nimoy won’t be there, but I did see that Nichelle Nichols was making an appearance and if he’s a fan of the OG cast, maybe seeing her will make him happy…well, happier at least,” Buffy corrected herself.
It probably would, Penny admitted to herself. “If he’s not answering the door, he’s probably holed up in his bedroom, making death ray plans.”
“As shitty of a thing as it was, I’d rather not lose my cuz over it. Let’s go get the mad scientist away from his murder plots.” When Penny looked confused at her inclusion, Buffy explained, “He’s not about to go off with some rando woman just because she’s related to a guy he knows. Plus, you have to help me avoid things that set him off.”
Since she didn’t have work anyway, Penny figured that taking a trip to the Bay - even if it was to a dork convention with Sheldon - was better than sitting around her apartment, staring at unpaid bills. “Unfortunately, you’re probably right. Just let me get changed and we’ll drag Sheldon out of his cave.”
Twelve hours later, three exhausted, yet rather upbeat travelers collapsed onto Penny’s couch.
“As much as I hate surprises, I rather enjoyed this one,” Sheldon remarked. “Thank you both.”
“No problem, Moonpie,” Penny teased, counting with her fingers until the inevitable…
“Only my Meemaw can call me Moonpie, Penny!”
“What are you going to do with your picture of you, Nichelle Nichols and Majel Barrett?” Buffy asked Sheldon to derail the argument.
“I was thinking of having one copy in the apartment and another copy on my desk at the university,” Sheldon mused. “Having Majel Barrett appear was another wonderful surprise today, even if her character, Chapel’s feelings towards Spock were problematic. She was a good actress in her other role on the shows.”
As he blathered on about Star Trek continuities, Buffy and Penny shared a tired, but happy look. Their plan to help him feel better, at least temporarily, was a success.
A/N: Had to stop it there to get it posted in time. I sort of cheated on the related issue, but adopted still counts as family, so I think it fits the challenge.
Author: mmooch
Summary: **Part of the 2022 August Fic-a-Day Challenge** The gang is surprised by the blonde cousin coming to visit…specifically the fact she isn’t Penny’s cousin.
Crossover: Big Bang Theory
Rating: FR-13
Word count: 1110
Challenge: for the livejournal 2022 August Fic-a-Day Challenge Also for TTH Challenge #6681 Big Bang Buffy
Timeline: post AU season 4 for BtVS (Glory/Dawn storyline never happened, but Riley still took off); Season 3 for BBT
A/N: I have a horrible leg cramp today which is making it hard to concentrate on writing, so you’re getting this instead of an update to any of the other stories. Call it pain-crack. POV is sort of wonky as the pain meds are kicking in.
Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. BBT characters belong to CBS et al. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
Sheldon and Leonard’s apartment
After finding out about the experiment tampering, Sheldon opened the apartment door, planning to confront Leonard about it, but was stopped by a petite blonde standing there. She appeared to be quite annoyed, but he didn’t even know her, so how could he have annoyed her?
“Where’s Howard?” she snapped. Ah, that clarified things slightly; it was Howard that upset her. That seemed far more likely, given his habit of making obnoxious passes at any woman, much less one as attractive as this one - given social norms of the time.
“He’s in there; please don’t get his blood on my floor,” Sheldon requested, moving around her to continue on his original quest.
While he knocked on Penny’s door, he could hear the woman yelling at Howard, but not for the expected reason. “What the hell are you doing here instead of going home as soon as you landed? You know how much your mom has been freaking out these past months! It’s the whole reason I agreed to come visit. Get your ass in gear and let’s get moving!”
The conversation with Leonard wasn’t pleasant by any stretch of the imagination; his scientific reputation was in tatters and all his friends - were they his friends? - could do was complain about his behavior. They knew he needed his structure, so why did they think that would change in an unfamiliar environment. It would make much more sense that he’d need it even more in that situation.
Through the door, they heard Howard shout, “Owww!” Then somebody started knocking on the door. When Penny opened it, the woman was pinching Howard’s ear as she dragged him into the room.
“Howard has something he’d like to say to you,” she said to him. When Howard hesitated, she glared and added, “Don’t make me persuade you.”
“I’m sorry!” Howard yelled frantically. “It was mean and stupid and childish, and I’ll come clean to the university about what we did!” He glanced at the woman who gave a slight nod of approval, then grabbed Howard’s hand and pulled him back out of the apartment, leaving the rest of them staring at their backs in confusion.
“Who’s she?” Penny asked, “And why is she willingly touching Wolowitz?”
Raj leaned over and whispered in Leonard’s ear, who repeated it out loud, “She’s his cousin, Buffy…really?” he looked at Raj in shock. “Wow, that family’s genetics are all over the place, aren’t they? Alright, bye, you two,” he said trying to push the non-Penny’s out of the apartment.
“Wait!” Penny interjected. “I think I need to know more about this ‘prank’ that Wolowitz has to tell the university about. That sounds like something more than putting Vaseline on a toilet seat or another childish prank.”
By the time she heard the whole story, she looked so disappointed in Raj and Leonard. Without realizing she was repeating his earlier mental thoughts, she asked, “If he can’t handle having different server on Tuesday nights, why would you suddenly think he’d be Joe Chill in the Artic - no pun intended - where he’s completely out of his comfort zone? Even if he had to be threatened into it, Howard’s doing the right thing, and I think you should do it as well. They’re going to know anyway,” she reminded them.
“It’ so unfair!” Leonard complained. “He was making us miserable, and this was our only option other than killing him!”
“You had the option of leaving,” Penny retorted, starting to look pissed off, which made them all take a step backwards, even Sheldon, who she was sort of defending in her own way.
Penny’s apartment
The next day…
Penny opened the door and saw Howard’s cousin standing there, smiling at her. “Penny, right?” she asked.
“Yeah. Are you really Howard’s cousin? Is one of you adopted?” Penny inquired.
“Actually, yes to both questions. Aunt Debbie’s sister, my mom, couldn’t have kids and for some reason they thought a kid would fix the problems in their marriage. Spoiler alert, it didn’t. It just took another 14 years for things to fall apart completely. But I’m not here to talk about my drama…do you know where Sheldon is?”
“Why?” Penny asked warily. After the fiasco of the night before, she was feeling rather protective of her preying mantis friend, and yes, Buffy had forced Howard to do the right thing, but it still didn’t make her trust the unknown woman entirely.
“I figured he needed a little cheering up and a tiny nerd bird told me he loves Star Trek, so I thought I’d take him to a small convention in San Francisco. Shatner or Nimoy won’t be there, but I did see that Nichelle Nichols was making an appearance and if he’s a fan of the OG cast, maybe seeing her will make him happy…well, happier at least,” Buffy corrected herself.
It probably would, Penny admitted to herself. “If he’s not answering the door, he’s probably holed up in his bedroom, making death ray plans.”
“As shitty of a thing as it was, I’d rather not lose my cuz over it. Let’s go get the mad scientist away from his murder plots.” When Penny looked confused at her inclusion, Buffy explained, “He’s not about to go off with some rando woman just because she’s related to a guy he knows. Plus, you have to help me avoid things that set him off.”
Since she didn’t have work anyway, Penny figured that taking a trip to the Bay - even if it was to a dork convention with Sheldon - was better than sitting around her apartment, staring at unpaid bills. “Unfortunately, you’re probably right. Just let me get changed and we’ll drag Sheldon out of his cave.”
Twelve hours later, three exhausted, yet rather upbeat travelers collapsed onto Penny’s couch.
“As much as I hate surprises, I rather enjoyed this one,” Sheldon remarked. “Thank you both.”
“No problem, Moonpie,” Penny teased, counting with her fingers until the inevitable…
“Only my Meemaw can call me Moonpie, Penny!”
“What are you going to do with your picture of you, Nichelle Nichols and Majel Barrett?” Buffy asked Sheldon to derail the argument.
“I was thinking of having one copy in the apartment and another copy on my desk at the university,” Sheldon mused. “Having Majel Barrett appear was another wonderful surprise today, even if her character, Chapel’s feelings towards Spock were problematic. She was a good actress in her other role on the shows.”
As he blathered on about Star Trek continuities, Buffy and Penny shared a tired, but happy look. Their plan to help him feel better, at least temporarily, was a success.
A/N: Had to stop it there to get it posted in time. I sort of cheated on the related issue, but adopted still counts as family, so I think it fits the challenge.