Aug 11, 2022 - Death’s Merchant (FR-13)
Aug 11, 2022 - Death’s Merchant (FR-13)
Author: mmooch
Summary: **Part of 2022 August Fic-a-Day Challenge** The world is unprepared for the real Merchant of Death.
Crossover: Iron Man
Rating: FR-13
Word count: 979
Challenge: for the livejournal 2022 August Fic-a-Day Challenge
Timeline: pre-series for both; shift the timelines to match up. Honestly, I don’t know the timeline of Marvel as it is told in the movies and shows, so I’m saying that Jarvis died before Howard and Maria.
A/N: I was driving home from work, wondering about my next chapter and this plot tribble attacked me. Almost wrecked my truck.
Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. MCU characters belong to Marvel, Disney et al. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
Stark Mansion
After several days of being missing - although that wasn’t a new thing for Tony, so his parents weren’t concerned just yet - the teen stumbled into his private lab in his wing of the mansion. “Hey, Jar?” he called out to his relatively young AI. Tony had just tested it a week ago and JARVIS had evolved from an UI to an AI, and he went out to celebrate. That’s when he went missing.
“Sir?”
“We need to make a few changes around here, starting with my living status.”
“I don’t understand, Sir. If you are not alive, how are you here, talking to me?” JARVIS inquired for his records. There was always something new to learn around Sir.
Tony flopped onto his couch, ran his hands through his hair, then replied, “Turns out that vampires are real, and a literal pain in the neck.”
“Like Count Dracula or Nosferatu?” Those were popular fictional versions of the bloodsucking monsters.
“I don’t know about the shapeshifting or hypnotizing stuff, but the rest seems real enough. First on my list is figuring out how to handle the feeding thing. For one, it’s…messy to feed off a person, and two, if too many bodies start piling up around me, somebody’s going to get suspicious. Oh, that reminds me, we need to see if there’s a Van Helsing type person out there, fighting vampires, because it feels like there should be or else the world would be overrun with them by now,” Tony mused as he tried to think of what else he might need to keep from being outed as a ‘creature of the night’.
“I will do a careful search in various parts of the world so it can’t be traced back to you, Sir,” JARVIS vowed. His primary objective of protecting Sir was still valid, even if it was slightly different now. Instead of protecting Sir’s life, he’d be protecting Sir’s existence.
“We should try different animal bloods to see if they are sufficient for keeping the thirst sated. I’d hate to get parched when Rhodey is around and turn him into a snack. And while I can probably get away with the nighttime routine for a little bit - between being a college student and an eccentric millionaire’s son - eventually I’ll have to venture out into the daylight. If for no other reason than to keep any Helsings from figuring out what I am…if they really exist,” he tacked on, almost correcting himself. However, he figured there had to be someone keeping the vampire numbers down based on the lack of impulse control he’d witnessed from the vampire that turned him.
“It would need to be able to withstand rain and wind, Sir,” JARVIS pointed out. “And not feel different from human skin or people might wonder why you are averse to touching all of a sudden.”
“How about we tell the truth about my missing time? Well, to a point, I mean. A woman got close enough to touch me, dosed me with a contact drug that knocked me out, tried to hold me hostage for a payout from Howard, but before they could make the call, I managed to escape. I can’t remember where I was being held because of the drugs and by the time I figured out where I was, the drugs wore off and I just came home,” Tony recited what he thought was a plausible story.
“Wouldn’t the kidnappers still try to call for a ransom, even if you weren’t there?” JARVIS asked.
“How would I know what they did or didn’t decide to do,” Tony answered patiently, then quoted as if he were speaking to the police if they asked the same question, “Maybe they thought my dad wouldn’t believe them without proof of life?”
A couple days later…
It was embarrassingly easy to get his parents and the police to buy his story, and his new quirk about not wanting to be handed anything. Rhodey was a touch more skeptical but didn’t flat out question him. The one thing that should have made his best friend suspicious was the thing that tipped the scales in his favor. Regardless of how Tony interacted with anyone else, he was still a koala bear with Rhodey, insisting on cuddling whenever he could get away with it.
What Rhodey didn’t realize was that in the two months that it took him to finish basic training, Tony had already figured out a way to mimic a heartbeat and breath using implants around his body. It even regulated his body temperature so nobody could guess he was really room temp.
When Tony was alone one night, JARVIS spoke up, “Sir, I’ve found a young woman who has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital after claiming she burned down her high school gym because of vampires.”
“Were there vampires?” Tony asked, finishing his blood smoothie. With enough spinach in it, nobody could tell there was a pint of blood in the cup.
JARVIS confirmed, “There were several unusual deaths leading up to the attack at the dance. Students attacked by wild animals, accidents with barbecue forks, other…unimaginative covers for what were likely vampire feedings. Bodies went missing from the morgues, gravesites desecrated, and bodies ‘stolen’. If they weren’t vampires, it was a coincidence of astronomical proportions.”
“Is there a way we can sneak in to see her? Maybe we could ask some questions; see how much of a danger she is,” Tony suggested.
“There’s a bit of risk involved. However, if she isn’t delusional, she could have information that isn’t available on the internet,” JARVIS allowed reluctantly.
“Great, let’s make plans to meet…what’s her name?”
“Buffy Summers, Sir.”
“Doesn’t exactly scream dangerous vampire hunter, does it?”
“Would you prefer she go by Dracula Van Helsing, Sir?” JARVIS snarked, making Tony grin.
“The sass on you, I’m so proud!”
A/N: I meant to get to their introduction, but my mother called, and you can’t tell your mother that you have to write a fanfic instead of talking to her. I think there’s a special place in hell for people like that, unless the mom is Norma Bates or Mommy Dearest.
Author: mmooch
Summary: **Part of 2022 August Fic-a-Day Challenge** The world is unprepared for the real Merchant of Death.
Crossover: Iron Man
Rating: FR-13
Word count: 979
Challenge: for the livejournal 2022 August Fic-a-Day Challenge
Timeline: pre-series for both; shift the timelines to match up. Honestly, I don’t know the timeline of Marvel as it is told in the movies and shows, so I’m saying that Jarvis died before Howard and Maria.
A/N: I was driving home from work, wondering about my next chapter and this plot tribble attacked me. Almost wrecked my truck.
Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. MCU characters belong to Marvel, Disney et al. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.
Stark Mansion
After several days of being missing - although that wasn’t a new thing for Tony, so his parents weren’t concerned just yet - the teen stumbled into his private lab in his wing of the mansion. “Hey, Jar?” he called out to his relatively young AI. Tony had just tested it a week ago and JARVIS had evolved from an UI to an AI, and he went out to celebrate. That’s when he went missing.
“Sir?”
“We need to make a few changes around here, starting with my living status.”
“I don’t understand, Sir. If you are not alive, how are you here, talking to me?” JARVIS inquired for his records. There was always something new to learn around Sir.
Tony flopped onto his couch, ran his hands through his hair, then replied, “Turns out that vampires are real, and a literal pain in the neck.”
“Like Count Dracula or Nosferatu?” Those were popular fictional versions of the bloodsucking monsters.
“I don’t know about the shapeshifting or hypnotizing stuff, but the rest seems real enough. First on my list is figuring out how to handle the feeding thing. For one, it’s…messy to feed off a person, and two, if too many bodies start piling up around me, somebody’s going to get suspicious. Oh, that reminds me, we need to see if there’s a Van Helsing type person out there, fighting vampires, because it feels like there should be or else the world would be overrun with them by now,” Tony mused as he tried to think of what else he might need to keep from being outed as a ‘creature of the night’.
“I will do a careful search in various parts of the world so it can’t be traced back to you, Sir,” JARVIS vowed. His primary objective of protecting Sir was still valid, even if it was slightly different now. Instead of protecting Sir’s life, he’d be protecting Sir’s existence.
“We should try different animal bloods to see if they are sufficient for keeping the thirst sated. I’d hate to get parched when Rhodey is around and turn him into a snack. And while I can probably get away with the nighttime routine for a little bit - between being a college student and an eccentric millionaire’s son - eventually I’ll have to venture out into the daylight. If for no other reason than to keep any Helsings from figuring out what I am…if they really exist,” he tacked on, almost correcting himself. However, he figured there had to be someone keeping the vampire numbers down based on the lack of impulse control he’d witnessed from the vampire that turned him.
“It would need to be able to withstand rain and wind, Sir,” JARVIS pointed out. “And not feel different from human skin or people might wonder why you are averse to touching all of a sudden.”
“How about we tell the truth about my missing time? Well, to a point, I mean. A woman got close enough to touch me, dosed me with a contact drug that knocked me out, tried to hold me hostage for a payout from Howard, but before they could make the call, I managed to escape. I can’t remember where I was being held because of the drugs and by the time I figured out where I was, the drugs wore off and I just came home,” Tony recited what he thought was a plausible story.
“Wouldn’t the kidnappers still try to call for a ransom, even if you weren’t there?” JARVIS asked.
“How would I know what they did or didn’t decide to do,” Tony answered patiently, then quoted as if he were speaking to the police if they asked the same question, “Maybe they thought my dad wouldn’t believe them without proof of life?”
A couple days later…
It was embarrassingly easy to get his parents and the police to buy his story, and his new quirk about not wanting to be handed anything. Rhodey was a touch more skeptical but didn’t flat out question him. The one thing that should have made his best friend suspicious was the thing that tipped the scales in his favor. Regardless of how Tony interacted with anyone else, he was still a koala bear with Rhodey, insisting on cuddling whenever he could get away with it.
What Rhodey didn’t realize was that in the two months that it took him to finish basic training, Tony had already figured out a way to mimic a heartbeat and breath using implants around his body. It even regulated his body temperature so nobody could guess he was really room temp.
When Tony was alone one night, JARVIS spoke up, “Sir, I’ve found a young woman who has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital after claiming she burned down her high school gym because of vampires.”
“Were there vampires?” Tony asked, finishing his blood smoothie. With enough spinach in it, nobody could tell there was a pint of blood in the cup.
JARVIS confirmed, “There were several unusual deaths leading up to the attack at the dance. Students attacked by wild animals, accidents with barbecue forks, other…unimaginative covers for what were likely vampire feedings. Bodies went missing from the morgues, gravesites desecrated, and bodies ‘stolen’. If they weren’t vampires, it was a coincidence of astronomical proportions.”
“Is there a way we can sneak in to see her? Maybe we could ask some questions; see how much of a danger she is,” Tony suggested.
“There’s a bit of risk involved. However, if she isn’t delusional, she could have information that isn’t available on the internet,” JARVIS allowed reluctantly.
“Great, let’s make plans to meet…what’s her name?”
“Buffy Summers, Sir.”
“Doesn’t exactly scream dangerous vampire hunter, does it?”
“Would you prefer she go by Dracula Van Helsing, Sir?” JARVIS snarked, making Tony grin.
“The sass on you, I’m so proud!”
A/N: I meant to get to their introduction, but my mother called, and you can’t tell your mother that you have to write a fanfic instead of talking to her. I think there’s a special place in hell for people like that, unless the mom is Norma Bates or Mommy Dearest.