(no subject)
my tired hands grip the counter rather shakily as i stare into my bloodshot eyes.
there's spit running down my chin, &&a toilet bowl full of last nights dinner.
the sweat on my brow is like the condensation on a bottle of beer. the heat is withering me away to the point of nothing. my hands are tremorous as i relive every horrible event that's been plaguing me the past few nights of so-called "sleep".
a name dropped here;or a gaze misplaced there. i can't even look myself in the eyes anymore.
i'm my own judge, jury, and executioner. my mind left my heart for dead a long time ago.
whether or not it was completely depleted remains to be seen.
he's the only thing that keeps me going these days. living weekend to weekend, quarter to quarter. being near him is the only thing that makes me feel human anymore. when he's not around i'm just a mindless automaton. a heartless zombie. &&the funny thing is, we're nothing. but being nothing except for convenience feels nice for once.
i fill the sink with cold water and submerge my entire head. the icy fingers tear at my face as my lungs scream for oxygen. i let myself back up and gasp for air. sliding down the cabinets to the wet linoleum. this is me giving up. this is me giving in.
hello, rock bottom.
there's spit running down my chin, &&a toilet bowl full of last nights dinner.
the sweat on my brow is like the condensation on a bottle of beer. the heat is withering me away to the point of nothing. my hands are tremorous as i relive every horrible event that's been plaguing me the past few nights of so-called "sleep".
a name dropped here;or a gaze misplaced there. i can't even look myself in the eyes anymore.
i'm my own judge, jury, and executioner. my mind left my heart for dead a long time ago.
whether or not it was completely depleted remains to be seen.
he's the only thing that keeps me going these days. living weekend to weekend, quarter to quarter. being near him is the only thing that makes me feel human anymore. when he's not around i'm just a mindless automaton. a heartless zombie. &&the funny thing is, we're nothing. but being nothing except for convenience feels nice for once.
i fill the sink with cold water and submerge my entire head. the icy fingers tear at my face as my lungs scream for oxygen. i let myself back up and gasp for air. sliding down the cabinets to the wet linoleum. this is me giving up. this is me giving in.
hello, rock bottom.