bored
At school. supposed to be doing geography but im not in the mood.(good excuse eh?) i hate school. no i dont hate school. as calvin said "we can find at least one thing beautiful and loveable about everything". for example we learn at school and are able to get a further education. also we get to see friends and meet people and such. we need to empty our hearts of all hate and fill the cracks with love. through this we can be whole and live in harmony with each other. i have given up trying to talk to him. he obviously doesn't want to talk to me. and if he does then he can call me of aproach me at school or whatever. but i dont really care too much anymore. yes i still like him and it will definatly take a while to get over him but im pretty sure he doesnt love me. i wish he would just tell this to me though. if he doesnt love me i want to know. and if he does i want to know. but because i barely talk to him this never happens. im not sure yet if i still love him. i dont think i do. but it hurts me to say that. cause its like i want to love him because i loved loving him. if that makes any sense. i just want us to love eachother again cause whenever i think of the great times we have it hurts so bad to think that its all over. but i just have to remind myself we have 3 years here. and i belive in love after love. wow i have a realy bad head ach and need to get some sleep. i dont think i will have any geography homework today so i wont be up till 12 as usual. i dont know why i care so much aboout this class. i guess its just cause its the only thing keeping my average up this semester. i have given up all home in french and just want to pass. as long as i get the credit im good. im not taking it next year. dont go here if your a homophobic bastard. http://www.livejournal.com/users/masochist_molly/ wow this person is actually an amazing writer. she expresses her feelings so artistically. well i have run out of things to say even though i still feel like typing. and avoiding at all costs geography work. i realy want it to be summer but you all know that. though it will be a really sad summer cause calvin isn't comming back next year:( but i just keep thinking about times with james and gramps at the cottage and a wave of happiness followed with a wave of depression comes over me. i just wish it was now. well im done boring whoever is reading this to death. good day.