I'm kind of a legend
I just got back from seeing the new Will Smith Megablockbusterextravaganzabash, I Am Legend. I'll get this out right now, I didn't think the movie was awful, and this isn't a rant about how much it sucked. Granted, it wasn't muy fantastico, but it was still watchable, and it'll make a great addition to a DVD collection.
I went in to this movie with a bit of aprehension. I kept thinking that the hardest part of watching this will be staring at Will Smith and a German shepard for about 2 hours. No, that wasn't hard at all. The hardest part of watching it was trying not to bludgeon the people in the theater also watching it. The most heinous perp was the asshat sitting to my right. This guy was a total dickhead who kept blurting out painfully obvious plot points to his wife sitting next to him, who I only imagine has the IQ of a turnip, since she apparently needed a play-by-play of the movie every 5 minutes. "Oh, he's alone in the city." "Oh, his family is leaving in a helicopter." "Oh, those monsters are infected people!" Seriously? Is she really that dense, or do you just say things out loud in movie theaters for shits n' giggles? I had to restrain myself from choking him to death with some Red Vines.
He was just the most vile offender. The rest of the audience still had other idiots. Like people who gasped really loud at inappropriate moments (like, when he's just standing around...which he did often) and cell phone lights that kept popping up in the seats around me. There was a lot of whispering and giggling and other tomfoolery that's unacceptable in a movie watching environment! It's this kind of bullshit that makes me a strong supporter of this guy's proposal.
I'm totally for it! Sign me up! After all, if there's one thing I've learned it's that, in this day and age, violence solves all sorts of problems, including ignorant movie-going dumbasses. So, yeah, go see I Am Legend if you want. Just...try and catch a matinee.
I went in to this movie with a bit of aprehension. I kept thinking that the hardest part of watching this will be staring at Will Smith and a German shepard for about 2 hours. No, that wasn't hard at all. The hardest part of watching it was trying not to bludgeon the people in the theater also watching it. The most heinous perp was the asshat sitting to my right. This guy was a total dickhead who kept blurting out painfully obvious plot points to his wife sitting next to him, who I only imagine has the IQ of a turnip, since she apparently needed a play-by-play of the movie every 5 minutes. "Oh, he's alone in the city." "Oh, his family is leaving in a helicopter." "Oh, those monsters are infected people!" Seriously? Is she really that dense, or do you just say things out loud in movie theaters for shits n' giggles? I had to restrain myself from choking him to death with some Red Vines.
He was just the most vile offender. The rest of the audience still had other idiots. Like people who gasped really loud at inappropriate moments (like, when he's just standing around...which he did often) and cell phone lights that kept popping up in the seats around me. There was a lot of whispering and giggling and other tomfoolery that's unacceptable in a movie watching environment! It's this kind of bullshit that makes me a strong supporter of this guy's proposal.
I'm totally for it! Sign me up! After all, if there's one thing I've learned it's that, in this day and age, violence solves all sorts of problems, including ignorant movie-going dumbasses. So, yeah, go see I Am Legend if you want. Just...try and catch a matinee.