Recap: Lost In Austen 1x01 (Part One)
Well... I couldn't wait, so whether you want it or not, here's part one of my recap.
First off, let me start by saying that, sadly, English is not my first language. I speak it pretty well, but I still make mistakes, so if you spot one, please let me know!
Secondly, I know that a lot of Austen fans spit fire at the very mention of this series, but I have the perfect cure: Don’t take it too seriously. I know it’s trying to get in on the Jane Austen hype of the last couple of years, and it’s not the best thing ever written, and the characters are taken for some weird spins… I’m not an absolute Austen purist, but I do prefer films/series to stay as close to the book as possible. And yet, even as a lit major and Austen geek, I can still enjoy it. It’s fluffy, flawed, ridiculous, screwball fun, and it has never pretended to be anything different. The best thing to do is to just enjoy it for an hour and then forget all about it for the rest of the week. However, there will still be nitpicking along the way, don’t worry.
Right, off we go!
We start off with Jemina Rooper’s voice-over, telling us that it is “a truth generally acknowledged that we’re all longing to escape”. Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be, is it? Look-at-me-I-read-the-book-tongue-in-cheek-puns? Sigh. Jemina tells us she always escapes to Pride and Prejudice, her favourite book. “The words just say themselves in my head, and it’s like a window opening. It’s like I’m actually there!” I see Guy Andrews paid close attention during Script Writing 101, that’s some top notch subtle forecasting, right there. Jemina squeals some more about how ‘intimately’ she knows that world, how she can almost touch it, how she can see Darcy… Cut to her almost orgasmically closing her book, as she moans: “oohhh, Amanda! …Where was I?” Oh boy. I hate her already.
Credits, complete with some tinkly piano tunes and bright colours, but the only thing really drawing my attention is the name Hugh Bonneville (Miss Austen Regrets, Mansfield Park, Notting Hill, Madame Bovary), whom I just adore, and the fact that Darcy is… Really not that handsome. Bingley had better be cute, or this recap is going to be very grumpy.
The next scene shows Amanda pretty much being bored to death at work, watching a parade of dysfunctional relationships, as Amanda’s voice-over tells us it’s the same for everybody and she just “takes it on the chin” and patches herself up with Jane Austen. Cut to Amanda trying to read her book on the bus and getting pushed over. Well, dear, that’s just asking for it. Don’t try to read a book whilest standing up on the bus, anyone can tell you that. Just wait till you get home, make a nice up of tea, and curl up on the sofa, like any reasonable person would do. Then there’s a shot of Amanda walking home and almost getting run over by a cyclist (yeah yeah yeah, modern life is getting her down, we get it), telling us that’s she’s a bit of a loser, but she does have a boyfriend. And to show us just how big of a geek she is, Amanda’s ringtone is the theme tune of the BBC P&P mini series. It’s her boyfriend (Michael) calling, but she ignores it. Her roommate bursts in, there’s some talk about how Amanda told Michael not to come over because she wants a nice quiet night with her book. Bla bla bla, pointless chatter, moving on!
Amanda is curled up on the sofa with P&P and a glass of red wine when the doorbell rings. Of course, it’s Michael, who immediately puts on the football and gets himself a beer. Amanda’s getting some crisps in the kitchen, sighing to herself (“I just want to read my book”). As she walks back to the living room, her boyfriend gets down to one knee, which stops her in her tracks. “What are you doing?” Michael opens his beer bottle and dramatically holds up the bottle opener thingy, which looks like a ring. Amanda asks him if this is his way of proposing to her, and he answers by burping. Ah, comedy! He’s a keeper! “Marry me, babes! Make an honest woman of me!” Amanda tearfully tells him that he has no idea how unromantic that is. Michael chugs his beer.
Cut to Amanda pensively eating toast in the kitchen. Suddenly, there are some strange noises coming from her bathroom, including a muffled “ouch!”. Amanda goes in, holding… A rolled up newspaper. Yeah, that’s how you scare them burglars off! “Put that back or I’ll read out the Daily Mail to you, I swear I will!” Anyway, she turns on the light, and there is a very confused girl in a Regency nightgown, standing in her bath tub. They blink at each other. Then the girl says that this is most extraordinary and begs Amanda to listen to her explanation, calling her ‘Miss Spencer’ in the process.
“There is a door, Miss Spencer, in the attic portion of my father’s house, which is a place unvisited except by servants and myself.” Amanda looks around, half expecting to see rabbits with pocket watches rushing past. “Were this door to open, which it does not, it would give upon the empty air four stories high, for there is no room beyond. It is a door entirely without sense. One may not pass through it, try as one might… Until this day! For you, Miss Spencer, have opened this door for me! You are the key!” Amanda, staring at the girl as if she’s sprouted four extra legs, finally manages to utter “why do you think my name is Spencer?” “It is tailored in your underthings!”, the girl answers brightly. How very Marty McFly! Amanda says that her name is Price (seriously, Andrews? Price?), and the girl introduces herself as Elizabeth Bennet. Amanda looks like she’s about to throw up. Then Michael calls her name, and she shrills “just a minute!”, turning off the lights. When she turns the lights on again, Elizabeth is gone.
Amanda’s back at work, thinking to herself that she’s clearly hallucinating. “Why? Too much Austen? My mother would say ‘not enough boyfriend’.” Cut to said mother, saying that Michael’s not on drugs and doesn’t knock Amanda about. There’s some chatter about redecorating, bla bla bla, her mother’s divorced, exposition, blab la bla. Her mother tells Amanda that she is who she is and shouldn’t waste her life pretending to be someone else (enough with the falling anvils already, I GET IT!). More exposition about how Michael cheated on Amanda with a waitress, yadda yadda. Then Amanda explains that she’s “not hung up about Darcy. I do not sit at home with the pause button and Colin Firth in clingy pants, okay?” Hey, I squealed when David Tennant was shirtless for about two seconds in the Doctor Who season finale, I’m not one to judge. Amanda sighs that she loves the love story, Elizabeth Bennet, the manners, the language, and the courtesy of P&P. “It’s become part of who I am and what I want. I’m saying, mum, that I have standards.” Her mother just hopes that those standards will still help her when she’s seventy. Or something. I don’t know, I don’t really care for this scene. It’s clear that Andrews is trying to show us why Amanda would be so willing to get out of this world. Terrible boyfriend? Check. Fucked up family? Check. Annoyed with getting run over by modern life (and cyclists) day after day? Check and check. Moving on.
Amanda’s on the couch again, losing herself in P&P, when she hears strange sounds coming from her bathroom again. When she opens her door, there is a fascinated Elizabeth, turning the lights on and off. “Is this not astonishing? With such a thing at my disposal, I should do little else but toy with it all day!” she brightly announces. Amanda stammers that she’s having a nervous breakdown. “You see, I am a real person, and you are a pretend person. You are the creation of Jane Austen.” Elizabeth frowns: “I am not acquainted with this person.” “You’re a character in a book!” Amanda shrieks. “This one, written by her two hundred years ago!” Elizabeth looks like she’s feeling sorry for a rambling, confused child. Which frankly isn’t far off. “It grieves me, Miss Price, that I must presume to dispute with you. I have my fleshly envelope as you yours.” She takes her hand, and Amanda just about has a stroke. “Tell me something I couldn’t possible know! Please! A piece of information that simply doesn’t exist in my brain. Just do it!” Elizabeth says that Netherfield Park is let, but that won’t do. “I know about Mr Darcy, everything!” Elizabeth frowns. “But you don’t,”, Amanda realizes, “you haven’t met him yet!” Elizabeth then throws some geographic stuff about Russian America at her, and Amanda has never heard of it, which means it must be true. Elizabeth shows her the door through which she came, and Amanda rambles that it’s just part of the wall, and how there’s nothing but pipes behind there. Of course, when she opens it, there’s no piping, but the hallway of Elizabeth’s house. Just as Amanda climbs in, a servant enters, the door slams shut, and Amanda is trapped. Let the wacky shenanigans begin!
The servant asks Amanda if she’ll be dining tonight. Amanda, eyes wide as saucers, tells her to “please advise Mr Bennet” that she will be down directly and she was just looking for him. After telling the servant that she’s a friend of Miss Elizabeth, she declares that this is really weird and she wants to go home, but of course, the door is shut and Elizabeth doesn’t respond to her cries.
The next shot is of Amanda trying to sneak down the stairs unnoticed, only to run into Hugh Bonneville, a.k.a. Mr Bennet! Hi, Hugh Bonneville! I love you, Hugh Bonneville! “Good heavens!” Ah, how I’ve missed you. “The noise in this PALACE OF LUNACY is more than a reading man can bear.” After he’s pulled himself together again, Amanda introduces herself, trying to curtsy. He marvels at the society where ladies are not promiscuous of speech (or something, I didn’t quite catch that) and then introduces himself as “Claude Bennet”. “Claude?! You’re kidding!”, Amanda sniggers. Ehm, rude?
While Amanda looks around Mr Bennet’s office, he examines her clothes and concludes that she’s not a local person. There’s a quick joke about how Hammersmith isn’t an area of London yet, and he then asks her how exactly she knows Elizabeth. Amanda says she’s known Elizabeth for years, and he frowns that he’s never heard her talk about her, but just assumes that she has and he just forgot. “Old age, Miss Price! I find I cannot recommend it.” I’ve mentioned I love Hugh Bonneville, right?
Mrs Bennet’s dulcet tones penetrate the wall, and Mr Bennet explains that that’s his wife and asks if Elizabeth’s already told her about their thrilling new neighbour, Mr Bingley. “Pleasant enough fellow, not strong on the brains.” He tells her that he’s called on him, but hasn’t told his wife yet. “But… She enjoys the suspense.” His expression is pricelessly painful. “We’re really right at the beginning, aren’t we?” Amanda blurts out, and Mr Bennet tells her that she does make the most professionally elliptical conversation. He then notes that it’s strange that Elizabeth has gone to Hammersmith to visit Amanda, while she has come to Longbourne to visit Elizabeth. Amanda sighs deeply. “Miss Price, are you well?” “I do feel a bit… Unusual. Might I go back upstairs?” Mr Bennet tells her to take Elizabeth’s bed and watches her curtsy again. In jeans. And a leather jacket.
Amanda walks around the house, trying to find Elizabeth’s room, only to be ambushed there by Mary and Kitty, the former looking adorably dorky in round glasses. Amanda tells them that she’s read so much about them, she feels like she knows them already. “…Read?”, Mary asks. “Heard! Talking to Elizabeth. Who is my friend.” Smooth, Amanda. Just get with the show already, this confusion and clumsiness is getting on my nerves. Mary asks her if she needs extra faggots, but Amanda says she’s fine. I’m confused, does she mean meatballs? Because I assume she’s not asking Amanda if she needs any more cigarettes or gay men. If so, that would give this series a whole other spin, and I’m not sure if I’d like it. Anyway, Amanda says she’s going to sleep and Mary and Kitty leave the room. She then proceeds to hide her volume of P&P under her pillow and does the obligatory cell phone reception test (surprise: there isn’t any).
The next morning, Amanda wakes up to the soothing sound of Mrs Bennet’s howling. Lovely. Oh, and Lydia is in bed with her, looking gorgeous and declaring she thought Amanda felt funny. I… Don’t want to know. She also asks Amanda what preparation she uses for her hair, “for it looks most pungent.” This triggers the next step on the Character Ends Up In Another World check list: the forbidden camera rant. “What are you after guys? Girl on girl action under the covers? What do I have to do, to get out of here? Snog her? Show you my pubes?” Which she then does, to the horror of Lydia, who blushes furiously, covers her eyes and nervously giggles: “what have you done to yourself?”. Amanda informs her that it’s called a ‘landing strip’, and I can’t take any more of this, thank GOD this scene’s over.
Bennet Breakfast! Amanda looks around nervously and Lydia glances at Kitty with a “she’s my new girl crush” look on her face. Jane tells Amanda to come sit next to her, introduces herself and says that Hill makes excellent toast (yay, Hill!). She’s pretty, but sadly no Rosamund Pike, Lydia’s radiant smile easily outshines hers. Kitty asks Amanda if her tunic is what is worn in town this season, she thinks it rather fine. Jane tells her she’s being impertinent, but Kitty says she’s starved of fashion. Amanda tells her that it’s otterhunting kit, which prompts this whole running joke about hunting otters, and I must say, I just don’t get it. Is Otterhunting Kit a brand in Britain that I’ve never heard about, or am I just really really stupid? Anyway, Amanda says that the rest of her clothes are coming. Lydia tells her she shouldn’t bother. “In this house, you might as well take the veil!” She is, of course, talking about the fact that her father won’t visit Mr Bingley. “I think you’ll find…” Amanda starts saying, but realizes she should stop talking just in time. Mrs Bennet cries some more, and Jane quietly informs Amanda that their mother suffers from her nerves. She asks if she’s already met her mother, and Amanda stammers that she’s yet to have that pleasure. Luckily, at that moment a gentleman arrives on horseback. “I’ll tell you exactly who that is!”, Lydia excitedly says.
Cut to Mrs Bennet, adoringly sighing: “Ohhh, Mr Bingley!” Cut to… YES! Yesssss! He’s cute! Oh, thank GOD. The recap is saved!
Mrs Bennet gushes, Mr Bingley is all polite smiles, and once again, I am reminded why he will always be my favourite P&P character (Mr Bennet is the firm holder of the second place). I love his cheerfulness, his optimism, his readiness to make friends, his politeness, and his never ending trust in Darcy. He may not be the most interesting person in the story, but he’s an adorable naïve geek who just wants everyone to have a capital time, and I wouldn’t want him any other way.
Anyway, the Bennet girls and Amanda rush in and Mr Bennet welcomes him “to the asylum”. They exchange books, Mrs Bennet is appalled and I’m too busy staring at Bingley’s smile to really notice what’s going on. Amanda looks on approvingly how his eyes wander over to Jane, who smiles sweetly. Mr Bennet introduces the girls, “separating the sheep from the goats”. Amanda curtsies, flashing Bingley some cleavage, making him grin dorkily. Mrs Bennet fumes in the background. The otter hunting joke comes up again (seriously, what’s up with that?) and the less said about it, the better. Amanda stutters that Elizabeth’s gone to her place for a day or two to write a novel. Mr Bennet says that Elizabeth told him she’d be gone for weeks, while Mrs Bennet has a nervous breakdown on the other side of the room. Amanda awkwardly says she thinks Elizabeth wanted it to be a surprise. Bingley, of course, is all in favour of writing and thinks it’s a marvellous idea. Mrs Bennet hastily cuts in and asks if he’s coming to the dance the next evening. Bingley tells her he’s sent for hoards of friends from London (Amanda: “He means Darcy!”), which hugely delights Mrs Bennet. “It should be quite a party. One that could only be enhanced, should you consent to join it. All of you.” At that, Bingley pointedly stares at Amanda. Mr Bennet, taking it to mean him, tells him he’s too kind, but large gatherings of society bring him out in hives. Amanda panics that Bingley’s looking at her and not at Jane, while Mrs Bennet tells Jane to provide Amanda with clothes “less provoking of attention”.
That is all for now! Let me know what you think, I could use the feedback. Writing in English is more difficult than I thought, and I need all the practice I can get!
Cheers!