the long rant for those who have a care.
Inflicted lies burn like fire,
drowning in gasoline, enveloping.
How come this lolipop tastes like chrome?
Maybe cause it's a gun.
Time is wasted. I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle of days where words have no definition, no meaning; they're just utterances in reply to a statement/ person we were never really listening to in the first place. So little is said with actual thought or feeling behind it these days. I really wonder what the point of human interaction is sometimes. So little of it seems human anymore; it's more akin to a program running a complex, moving, dancing, eating, shitting, cursing, voiletile-computer. This is in part because people to me are annoying for the mostpart- especially myself. All lipgloss and letdown, no substance. ( more letdown than lipgloss for anyone who was actually getting any perverse ideas ) That's partly why I miss the other Brooke so much ( my real name being Brooke, and Brooke being the person who became my best friend and dubbed me Starr ). Brooke made me believe in people/ humanity. I don't think I'll ever find anyone so smart, kind, funny, sick, and so complimentary to my own personality. She made me the sick bitch i'm proud to self-loath today. I'd rather spend my life in friendship with Brooke than get married to some all American man where we have 2.5 kids, a white picket fence, and a morgage with a low interest rate. But hey, Brooke is in New York going to Law School making her successes while i'm here in Tampa living small failures daily.
The other day and older man asked me, "What is your Generation called anyways?" I shrugged and said I had no clue on the matter myself. After reflection, I'd say that my generation is not "Generation X" or "Generation Y", but more Generation Empty Whore. I spend the occassional Monday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday going out watching people with blank faces and fake style whore themselves out for the hope of a cheap satisfation and false affirmation in making out, fucking,...basically, devoiding any intimate encounter of having any real significance. ( don't get me wrong this is not my opinion of EVERYONE out, just a large majority, and I do go out myself... I enjoy seeing my friends and getting my dork on, on the dance floor. )
I can't say how many numerous times I want to scream to the girls I see, "Just cause some guy will makeout with you or do you, doesn't mean he thinks your pretty, or interesting, or smart...it just means you are some easy satisfaction, some easy way to feel better and not think about some bullshit 9-5 job he hates or some life issue he's avoiding!" I'm not saying that I've never made out with anyone in a club- I have- but, I make no bones about having any delusions about what's really going on.
My biggest relationship is the one I have with Life itself right now; it is of the Love-Hate kind. There are moments where I feel absolutelyfuckingamazing. I want do any and everything spontaineous and crazy and unpredictable. And, sometimes I just want to end it. Stop the disappointment with myself, with others. Those are the points where Life seems to be a series of short-comings and failures.
Now i'm off to close my eyes. At least I know the my dreams couldn't be any worse that what real-life is itself.
"The taste of rust fills my mouth, til the day I just threw it all away.....I just threw it all away."
drowning in gasoline, enveloping.
How come this lolipop tastes like chrome?
Maybe cause it's a gun.
Time is wasted. I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle of days where words have no definition, no meaning; they're just utterances in reply to a statement/ person we were never really listening to in the first place. So little is said with actual thought or feeling behind it these days. I really wonder what the point of human interaction is sometimes. So little of it seems human anymore; it's more akin to a program running a complex, moving, dancing, eating, shitting, cursing, voiletile-computer. This is in part because people to me are annoying for the mostpart- especially myself. All lipgloss and letdown, no substance. ( more letdown than lipgloss for anyone who was actually getting any perverse ideas ) That's partly why I miss the other Brooke so much ( my real name being Brooke, and Brooke being the person who became my best friend and dubbed me Starr ). Brooke made me believe in people/ humanity. I don't think I'll ever find anyone so smart, kind, funny, sick, and so complimentary to my own personality. She made me the sick bitch i'm proud to self-loath today. I'd rather spend my life in friendship with Brooke than get married to some all American man where we have 2.5 kids, a white picket fence, and a morgage with a low interest rate. But hey, Brooke is in New York going to Law School making her successes while i'm here in Tampa living small failures daily.
The other day and older man asked me, "What is your Generation called anyways?" I shrugged and said I had no clue on the matter myself. After reflection, I'd say that my generation is not "Generation X" or "Generation Y", but more Generation Empty Whore. I spend the occassional Monday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday going out watching people with blank faces and fake style whore themselves out for the hope of a cheap satisfation and false affirmation in making out, fucking,...basically, devoiding any intimate encounter of having any real significance. ( don't get me wrong this is not my opinion of EVERYONE out, just a large majority, and I do go out myself... I enjoy seeing my friends and getting my dork on, on the dance floor. )
I can't say how many numerous times I want to scream to the girls I see, "Just cause some guy will makeout with you or do you, doesn't mean he thinks your pretty, or interesting, or smart...it just means you are some easy satisfaction, some easy way to feel better and not think about some bullshit 9-5 job he hates or some life issue he's avoiding!" I'm not saying that I've never made out with anyone in a club- I have- but, I make no bones about having any delusions about what's really going on.
My biggest relationship is the one I have with Life itself right now; it is of the Love-Hate kind. There are moments where I feel absolutelyfuckingamazing. I want do any and everything spontaineous and crazy and unpredictable. And, sometimes I just want to end it. Stop the disappointment with myself, with others. Those are the points where Life seems to be a series of short-comings and failures.
Now i'm off to close my eyes. At least I know the my dreams couldn't be any worse that what real-life is itself.
"The taste of rust fills my mouth, til the day I just threw it all away.....I just threw it all away."