Status
I was reminded today that I have not written anything here in nearly a year now, so just a quick update.
Re: writing. There's still an overwhelming amount of stuff going on in life right now, so writing is still on hiatus, but there is still a piece in the works for yaoifix. If anything changes there, I'll let ya'll know.
Health is still hanging on, not great, but not declining, so woo hoo for that!
Re: my twisted son. My kid is insane, but in a good way. He is now on a competetive rock climbing team (Yeah, I'm gonna share, because he just made it on yesterday, so congrats to him!) and he's on a wall climbing for about 2-4 hours a day, every day. He's got a little six pack going, but... he is still the tiniest little thing. He's 14 but still less than 5 feet tall, with a little snub nose and a baby face. If he's walking alone, strangers still sometimes stop him on the street and ask if he needs help or if his mom knows where he is. You can imagine how thrilled he is about this.
'Mom, everyone always wants to look older in their twenties, and they only want to look younger when they hit their thirties. It's going to be a loooong time before this,' he points to his baby face, ' is going to do me any good.'
Ha.
Re: my twisted daughter. We finally got a psych eval, and while there are mental health troubles, we found out something that not a single doctor ever considered: my daughter is autistic. She is extremely happy about this. Because suddenly, she has a way to express how she feels, as well as a group of people out there who understand how she feels, and who can commiserate with her on the weirdness of the rest of the world.
Like how people will try to hurt someone's feelings on purpose, which makes no sense to her. Or how people will get upset when you tell them the truth. Like, say, telling someone that their mother is a slut shamer or a bigot, for example. 'But she IS, mom!'
When kids are 5, people laugh over this type of thing. When they're teens? Not so much. Awkward truths are usually assumed to be a deliberate attempt to be obnoxious, not a situation where that teen literally does not get why everyone is upset. But she learns pretty freaking fast that she keeps saying things that get people mad at her. She just doesn't understand why.
I need a Watson for my litlte Sherlock.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqpDoQAj0bc
So let me advocate for a moment, like I always do, with information I have now learned. Because I'd like the world to be a better place for my daughter to be in.
First, Autism Speaks is one of the first charities that comes up when you google autism. It also turns out it is one of the most hated charities for autism within the autism community. It puts a lot of value on finding cures for autism and help for the 'emotional pain' of parents or grandparents. It does, well, about jack all for people who actually ARE autistic. Almost no money goes for helping autistic folks, actually.
And the big kicker - there is not a single autistic person on the board. At all. They are not consulted, talked to, nothing. It's kind of like having a charity to support a disease where no one there has it or talks to the people who do, but thinks that they are all doing a great job of helping and supporting these same people. And while yeah, there are some autistic folks who cannot communicate effectively and might not be able to express their wants and needs, there are a HECK of a lot of autistic folks who absolutely can. Heck, Dan Aykroyd is autistic - no one can tell me that he can't communicate perfectly fine for himself.
Seriously, if you ever decide to donate to an autistism charity, I'd please consider looking at a different one.
Second, the concept of 'high functioning autism.' A lot of people (and I'll admit I WAS one of them) assume that autism is like a scale, with low functioning on one end, and high functioning on the other. So, the same traits for all, but less intense/severe on the high functioning end. This, it turns out, is totally, totally wrong. The autism spectrum is more like a big color wheel of traits. Some of them are more intense and near the center of the circle, and some are less intense and near the outer edge. And typically, 'high functioning' really only looks at 'can you talk well' and 'can you pass for not austic well' (so you can do a lot of self care, as an example). Heck, one of the big differences is that HF autistic kids tend to talk earlier as toddlers, while LF ones tend to talk later.
I mention this because a lot of folks (and again, I was one of them) assume that high functioning means this person is pretty good on their own, their minds just work a litlte differently than mine does. But they don't need help, or assistance, or accommodations, etc... As someone who has a kiddo who is now diagnosed with high-functioning autism, I can say from experience it SO doesn't work like that.
And...end of the advocacy
I'll just leave you with my newest pretty boy obsession: Lucifer. This is mostly hetero clips, I'll admit, but he is just such a cutie in them I had to put them in. :-)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6N8t8jq88M
Re: writing. There's still an overwhelming amount of stuff going on in life right now, so writing is still on hiatus, but there is still a piece in the works for yaoifix. If anything changes there, I'll let ya'll know.
Health is still hanging on, not great, but not declining, so woo hoo for that!
Re: my twisted son. My kid is insane, but in a good way. He is now on a competetive rock climbing team (Yeah, I'm gonna share, because he just made it on yesterday, so congrats to him!) and he's on a wall climbing for about 2-4 hours a day, every day. He's got a little six pack going, but... he is still the tiniest little thing. He's 14 but still less than 5 feet tall, with a little snub nose and a baby face. If he's walking alone, strangers still sometimes stop him on the street and ask if he needs help or if his mom knows where he is. You can imagine how thrilled he is about this.
'Mom, everyone always wants to look older in their twenties, and they only want to look younger when they hit their thirties. It's going to be a loooong time before this,' he points to his baby face, ' is going to do me any good.'
Ha.
Re: my twisted daughter. We finally got a psych eval, and while there are mental health troubles, we found out something that not a single doctor ever considered: my daughter is autistic. She is extremely happy about this. Because suddenly, she has a way to express how she feels, as well as a group of people out there who understand how she feels, and who can commiserate with her on the weirdness of the rest of the world.
Like how people will try to hurt someone's feelings on purpose, which makes no sense to her. Or how people will get upset when you tell them the truth. Like, say, telling someone that their mother is a slut shamer or a bigot, for example. 'But she IS, mom!'
When kids are 5, people laugh over this type of thing. When they're teens? Not so much. Awkward truths are usually assumed to be a deliberate attempt to be obnoxious, not a situation where that teen literally does not get why everyone is upset. But she learns pretty freaking fast that she keeps saying things that get people mad at her. She just doesn't understand why.
I need a Watson for my litlte Sherlock.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqpDoQAj0bc
So let me advocate for a moment, like I always do, with information I have now learned. Because I'd like the world to be a better place for my daughter to be in.
First, Autism Speaks is one of the first charities that comes up when you google autism. It also turns out it is one of the most hated charities for autism within the autism community. It puts a lot of value on finding cures for autism and help for the 'emotional pain' of parents or grandparents. It does, well, about jack all for people who actually ARE autistic. Almost no money goes for helping autistic folks, actually.
And the big kicker - there is not a single autistic person on the board. At all. They are not consulted, talked to, nothing. It's kind of like having a charity to support a disease where no one there has it or talks to the people who do, but thinks that they are all doing a great job of helping and supporting these same people. And while yeah, there are some autistic folks who cannot communicate effectively and might not be able to express their wants and needs, there are a HECK of a lot of autistic folks who absolutely can. Heck, Dan Aykroyd is autistic - no one can tell me that he can't communicate perfectly fine for himself.
Seriously, if you ever decide to donate to an autistism charity, I'd please consider looking at a different one.
Second, the concept of 'high functioning autism.' A lot of people (and I'll admit I WAS one of them) assume that autism is like a scale, with low functioning on one end, and high functioning on the other. So, the same traits for all, but less intense/severe on the high functioning end. This, it turns out, is totally, totally wrong. The autism spectrum is more like a big color wheel of traits. Some of them are more intense and near the center of the circle, and some are less intense and near the outer edge. And typically, 'high functioning' really only looks at 'can you talk well' and 'can you pass for not austic well' (so you can do a lot of self care, as an example). Heck, one of the big differences is that HF autistic kids tend to talk earlier as toddlers, while LF ones tend to talk later.
I mention this because a lot of folks (and again, I was one of them) assume that high functioning means this person is pretty good on their own, their minds just work a litlte differently than mine does. But they don't need help, or assistance, or accommodations, etc... As someone who has a kiddo who is now diagnosed with high-functioning autism, I can say from experience it SO doesn't work like that.
And...end of the advocacy
I'll just leave you with my newest pretty boy obsession: Lucifer. This is mostly hetero clips, I'll admit, but he is just such a cutie in them I had to put them in. :-)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6N8t8jq88M