this is what i do for money
So! I'm teching the Exotic Hypnotic festival for Artscape, which means lots of long-ass days full of experimental musicians, their obnoxious hippie fans, and never-ending technical issues. I'll spare everyone the boring details of which vocal mic channels aren't working (hint: ALL OF THEM) and how low we're running on audio cables and get right to the part where I make snarky comments about the performers.
DAY 1
Robby Rackleff - weird, washed-out film images set to music that sounded like marbles tumbling in a dryer.
Aaron Henkin - radio guy who makes audio collages from the news. NERD ALERT WOOP WOOP
Bethany "Square Pi" Dinsick - experimental vocalist who didn't know what planet she was on.
Baltimore Sacred Harp - all-acoustic singing group specializing in a stompy, early American, "churchy songs that all sound alike" genre.
The Hammered - the heavy metal end of Baltimore's growing rock opera scene. Awesome music played by awesome guys, even though they nearly blew out our sound system.
Weyes Bluhd - her music was pitched as "dark, lo-fi ballads," which hit the mark. Awesome stuff; folk music filtered through H.P. Lovecraft. She's kind and appreciative, too.
Janitor - described as "homoerotic industrial noise" - ended up being two rude, awkward guys who made very loud, boring noise on guitars for ~45 minutes and left without saying anything to us.
Annex Theater - showed a film of a play they made with some Greenmount kids, one of whom wrote the play in question. It was ridiculous, but all the kids were there and they were so proud of themselves and what they'd done. It was very touching.
DAY 2
Avocado Happy Hour - lo-fi, melodic indy music, aka good music played by jerks. based on their name, someone in the crowd thought we had a liquor license. really.
Turquoise Cats - beep boop beep
The Creepers - hilarious love songs played on a keyboard and a trumpet. one of them looked like an extra from Welcome Back, Kotter. musically, they're what happens when Ween and TMBG shake hands at a party.
Jason Urick - beep boop beep: the sequel
Singers Madrigale - madrigal singers. in garb. hey nonny nonny and a wtf.
Stuart Saunders Smith - classical music that sounded like the orchestra pushed all their instruments down the stairs.
Summer Games - tone deaf hipster karaoke. they sucked.
Broydelic Sidecar 1 - provided an alternative soundtrack to a screening of Death Race 2000, complete with live audio feed tweaking. it took FOREVER to set up because their original tech ideas were retarded and unworkable.
DAY 3
Jah Hannibal Trio - crazy free jazz stuff. great drumming, and the cello kept everything together.
Nothingberry Plasma - insufferable hipster radio static. "CAN I GET MORE REVERB ON MY VOCALS." no. you suck. go home.
Question Mark didn't show, so we got a hodgepodge of the festival's organizers to jam out for about 45 minutes or so. they weren't bad.
Jeff Carey - more loud radio static, but he had TV screens that flared on and off whenever he made any noise. nice guy, too.
Andrew Bernstein - even more loud radio static, but with a saxophone. weird and droney and it made me sick to my stomach. nice guy. needs to shave his pedo mustache, though.
Yoshiko Ohara - singer of Bloody Panda leads another hodgepodge of musicians through some awesome keyboard-and-strings doom rock. i set up their sound and, unlike the vocal mic fiasco with The Hammered, did a bang-up job of it.
Embarrassment Poems - people read poems they were embarrassed to have written. many of them were high school love poems. one guy stripped down to his boxers and sang "evenflow." they were great.
Baltimore Experimental Dance Group - all dancers are retarded. all of them. these poor girls didn't know their asses from holes in the ground, and they couldn't focus on tech for more than three seconds.
The verdict? I lived. Now let's never, EVER do that again.
DAY 1
Robby Rackleff - weird, washed-out film images set to music that sounded like marbles tumbling in a dryer.
Aaron Henkin - radio guy who makes audio collages from the news. NERD ALERT WOOP WOOP
Bethany "Square Pi" Dinsick - experimental vocalist who didn't know what planet she was on.
Baltimore Sacred Harp - all-acoustic singing group specializing in a stompy, early American, "churchy songs that all sound alike" genre.
The Hammered - the heavy metal end of Baltimore's growing rock opera scene. Awesome music played by awesome guys, even though they nearly blew out our sound system.
Weyes Bluhd - her music was pitched as "dark, lo-fi ballads," which hit the mark. Awesome stuff; folk music filtered through H.P. Lovecraft. She's kind and appreciative, too.
Janitor - described as "homoerotic industrial noise" - ended up being two rude, awkward guys who made very loud, boring noise on guitars for ~45 minutes and left without saying anything to us.
Annex Theater - showed a film of a play they made with some Greenmount kids, one of whom wrote the play in question. It was ridiculous, but all the kids were there and they were so proud of themselves and what they'd done. It was very touching.
DAY 2
Avocado Happy Hour - lo-fi, melodic indy music, aka good music played by jerks. based on their name, someone in the crowd thought we had a liquor license. really.
Turquoise Cats - beep boop beep
The Creepers - hilarious love songs played on a keyboard and a trumpet. one of them looked like an extra from Welcome Back, Kotter. musically, they're what happens when Ween and TMBG shake hands at a party.
Jason Urick - beep boop beep: the sequel
Singers Madrigale - madrigal singers. in garb. hey nonny nonny and a wtf.
Stuart Saunders Smith - classical music that sounded like the orchestra pushed all their instruments down the stairs.
Summer Games - tone deaf hipster karaoke. they sucked.
Broydelic Sidecar 1 - provided an alternative soundtrack to a screening of Death Race 2000, complete with live audio feed tweaking. it took FOREVER to set up because their original tech ideas were retarded and unworkable.
DAY 3
Jah Hannibal Trio - crazy free jazz stuff. great drumming, and the cello kept everything together.
Nothingberry Plasma - insufferable hipster radio static. "CAN I GET MORE REVERB ON MY VOCALS." no. you suck. go home.
Question Mark didn't show, so we got a hodgepodge of the festival's organizers to jam out for about 45 minutes or so. they weren't bad.
Jeff Carey - more loud radio static, but he had TV screens that flared on and off whenever he made any noise. nice guy, too.
Andrew Bernstein - even more loud radio static, but with a saxophone. weird and droney and it made me sick to my stomach. nice guy. needs to shave his pedo mustache, though.
Yoshiko Ohara - singer of Bloody Panda leads another hodgepodge of musicians through some awesome keyboard-and-strings doom rock. i set up their sound and, unlike the vocal mic fiasco with The Hammered, did a bang-up job of it.
Embarrassment Poems - people read poems they were embarrassed to have written. many of them were high school love poems. one guy stripped down to his boxers and sang "evenflow." they were great.
Baltimore Experimental Dance Group - all dancers are retarded. all of them. these poor girls didn't know their asses from holes in the ground, and they couldn't focus on tech for more than three seconds.
The verdict? I lived. Now let's never, EVER do that again.