... and then?
well... she flew home today/tonight. we spent her last day in near constant contact, which pleased me. it was just great to have that sort of contact. i called her before she flew out... three times. it was good to hear her voice. but then... i have to deal with the fact she may as well be in a different country and on a different continent (?) as of today.
it's hard. no three ways about it.
i've spent so much time typing out these memories and trying to articulate just how our situation is but... i'll never get close. it's nearly impossible. i cant... explain. i've run out of words. all i have is feelings but they're not particularly helpful when you're trying to express it for future reference or for other people to read and understand. it's lose:lose. lame.
i'll just use the clichés.
i cry for her. i'd give it all up for her. i honestly less than three her. feeling her skin against mine is so extremely special... i feel powerful. i dont want to go too much more into it all for fear of either making people physically ill or just trivialising it all by putting it into words. needless to say she's the most special thing in my life right now; without her life seems so empty. it feels fair empty right now.
well... i've only gotta wait three months of which is have to save for the whole of it. this'll be great. according to my calculations i'm gonna need to save 220/week. let me double check. okay. 214/week. shit. that's gonna take some effort. i definitely need to earn over 200. oi i can do it. for oomie i WILL do it.
miss you so much already, bub.
see you soon tho, yea? xxx
OH YAH!
sydney! must tell all about syd.
i went up on sunday, saw my cousin and went drinking with her. it was great. i left star city up $120. hurrah!
i spent the day on monday moping more or less. i couldnt see oom cause she had family stuff to do, which was cool. i called her tho after the BB finale and a bit of le reading.
tuesday MUST go down in history as one of the greatest days ever for me. i met oom at 11 or so and we went to see Wedding Crashers (which i loved!) then we played dance machine and her bro (um) came over so we played cars where i lost EVERY time. god damn oom plays dirty. it's not fair to knock people off the road. YOU PLAYED DIRTY GOD DAMN IT! we got bored of that all eventually (probably more me due to my chronic losing to a girl and her brother) and went and had sushi. now, i'd never had sushi before so it was something of a novelty. i have to say tho... it was a good experience. we had plenty of laughs at my expense and her expense... and ultimately at um's. i ate much of his muffin with chopsticks. i'm sooooo cool!!! for the record um is a top bloke; i like her family so far.
we left there and went to the shopping centre under the big arse tower trying to find her mum. we didnt. mum was angry. we bought some cool stuff tho and mucked around constantly. i had to ask the store people where i could find women's cosmetics.. they read into it (bastards!). oom smiled heaps and wouldnt stop reminding me that i have some extra flesh (which i happen to find rather appealing :P) by grabbing it and mentioning it rather often. it was fun. we eventually walked back to her apartment where mum was waiting looking menacing. they tried to explain, but mum was in worry mode and getting mums out of that is hard at best. i gave them time and eventually we went down to the pool and went for a swim/spa/sauna. hahahaha. so fucking fun. oom got dropped from the spa into the pool a number of times because she wasnt being very nice. poor girl near froze each time. the sauna was more fun. um went upstairs to get a cup so he could water the rocks. plenty of fun and plenty of talking. it was great just to relax with her.
we ended up cleaning up and going out to dinner. um got subway (which i had to order because he didnt want to) and oom and i ate chinese at this place just near the apartment. it was fair good... just a little expensive that's all. we mucked around for a while longer and had the first serious talk we'd had all day up in the apartment while we ironed and dried clothes. i had to leave soon after that, but we talked again and that was good.
Wednesday we just hung out. she ordered me to shave my beard and i begrudgingly agreed and then she and um dyed my hair this really dark brown colour. i swear i don't look the same anymore. after that i tagged on while they all shopped. we didnt get to talk much but just being nearby was enough. i got back to her apartment and cleared out my shite before she walked me to the train station near town hall. i launched into a soliloquy that lasted a good long time. i told her everything i needed to before she left again for an indefinite period of time. i didnt look into her eyes when i told her that i loved her nor did i give her a goodbye kiss (which wasnt necessarily appropriate anyway); but you can't have it all can you? i just hope she remembers what i did tell her and what i told her to do. it was so, so important on a basic level. she's right tho. i treated like it was the last time i'd see her ever, but i needed to or else i'd regret it forever.
enough out of me.
i hope everyone else is well. i need to read more zara goodness. where's that cheerful little cherub?
it's hard. no three ways about it.
i've spent so much time typing out these memories and trying to articulate just how our situation is but... i'll never get close. it's nearly impossible. i cant... explain. i've run out of words. all i have is feelings but they're not particularly helpful when you're trying to express it for future reference or for other people to read and understand. it's lose:lose. lame.
i'll just use the clichés.
i cry for her. i'd give it all up for her. i honestly less than three her. feeling her skin against mine is so extremely special... i feel powerful. i dont want to go too much more into it all for fear of either making people physically ill or just trivialising it all by putting it into words. needless to say she's the most special thing in my life right now; without her life seems so empty. it feels fair empty right now.
well... i've only gotta wait three months of which is have to save for the whole of it. this'll be great. according to my calculations i'm gonna need to save 220/week. let me double check. okay. 214/week. shit. that's gonna take some effort. i definitely need to earn over 200. oi i can do it. for oomie i WILL do it.
miss you so much already, bub.
see you soon tho, yea? xxx
OH YAH!
sydney! must tell all about syd.
i went up on sunday, saw my cousin and went drinking with her. it was great. i left star city up $120. hurrah!
i spent the day on monday moping more or less. i couldnt see oom cause she had family stuff to do, which was cool. i called her tho after the BB finale and a bit of le reading.
tuesday MUST go down in history as one of the greatest days ever for me. i met oom at 11 or so and we went to see Wedding Crashers (which i loved!) then we played dance machine and her bro (um) came over so we played cars where i lost EVERY time. god damn oom plays dirty. it's not fair to knock people off the road. YOU PLAYED DIRTY GOD DAMN IT! we got bored of that all eventually (probably more me due to my chronic losing to a girl and her brother) and went and had sushi. now, i'd never had sushi before so it was something of a novelty. i have to say tho... it was a good experience. we had plenty of laughs at my expense and her expense... and ultimately at um's. i ate much of his muffin with chopsticks. i'm sooooo cool!!! for the record um is a top bloke; i like her family so far.
we left there and went to the shopping centre under the big arse tower trying to find her mum. we didnt. mum was angry. we bought some cool stuff tho and mucked around constantly. i had to ask the store people where i could find women's cosmetics.. they read into it (bastards!). oom smiled heaps and wouldnt stop reminding me that i have some extra flesh (which i happen to find rather appealing :P) by grabbing it and mentioning it rather often. it was fun. we eventually walked back to her apartment where mum was waiting looking menacing. they tried to explain, but mum was in worry mode and getting mums out of that is hard at best. i gave them time and eventually we went down to the pool and went for a swim/spa/sauna. hahahaha. so fucking fun. oom got dropped from the spa into the pool a number of times because she wasnt being very nice. poor girl near froze each time. the sauna was more fun. um went upstairs to get a cup so he could water the rocks. plenty of fun and plenty of talking. it was great just to relax with her.
we ended up cleaning up and going out to dinner. um got subway (which i had to order because he didnt want to) and oom and i ate chinese at this place just near the apartment. it was fair good... just a little expensive that's all. we mucked around for a while longer and had the first serious talk we'd had all day up in the apartment while we ironed and dried clothes. i had to leave soon after that, but we talked again and that was good.
Wednesday we just hung out. she ordered me to shave my beard and i begrudgingly agreed and then she and um dyed my hair this really dark brown colour. i swear i don't look the same anymore. after that i tagged on while they all shopped. we didnt get to talk much but just being nearby was enough. i got back to her apartment and cleared out my shite before she walked me to the train station near town hall. i launched into a soliloquy that lasted a good long time. i told her everything i needed to before she left again for an indefinite period of time. i didnt look into her eyes when i told her that i loved her nor did i give her a goodbye kiss (which wasnt necessarily appropriate anyway); but you can't have it all can you? i just hope she remembers what i did tell her and what i told her to do. it was so, so important on a basic level. she's right tho. i treated like it was the last time i'd see her ever, but i needed to or else i'd regret it forever.
enough out of me.
i hope everyone else is well. i need to read more zara goodness. where's that cheerful little cherub?