(no subject)
Today was the last full day of school... THANK GOD. the last two weeks have been excruciating, in more ways than one. I am really not in the right frame of mind to be leaving for camp in 3 days. I need to make peace- with myself and other people... the trouble is how to do that. Sometimes its really hard to just let things go... any sometimes you know that you want something(/someone) but you keep like, subconsciously screwing it up, or something. i dunno.. its hard to explain. I'm kind of scared about leaving... i've never been away from home for that long. what if people forget about me! and what if i screw up up there. What if i'm really bad at stuff... who knows what could happen.
I've realized that my outlook on life has become very pessimistic. Just recently too. I used to be a very optimistic person, if you can believe that. And a very happy person. I mean, i'm still pretty happy. I like to make people happy. I think thats where i get my "energy", like we talked about in psych class. I think everything that has happened in the last couple years is finally catching up to me, you know? But its time for me to just move past things, and just be ok. . . i've put up all these walls preventing people from getting too close, and they really need to come down. That's something i'm going to work on this summer... Maybe i'll be a whole new person when i come back... hopefully.
I've realized that my outlook on life has become very pessimistic. Just recently too. I used to be a very optimistic person, if you can believe that. And a very happy person. I mean, i'm still pretty happy. I like to make people happy. I think thats where i get my "energy", like we talked about in psych class. I think everything that has happened in the last couple years is finally catching up to me, you know? But its time for me to just move past things, and just be ok. . . i've put up all these walls preventing people from getting too close, and they really need to come down. That's something i'm going to work on this summer... Maybe i'll be a whole new person when i come back... hopefully.