(no subject)
MEN AND WOMAN
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just
not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy
your physical needs as a man."
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,
honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, Let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"
Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either...!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just
not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy
your physical needs as a man."
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,
honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, Let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"
Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either...!