Sick
It's been a looooong time since I've updated. Not much has changed for me of course. Still the same old sam who works at the stadium and doesn't do her homework and basically sucks at everything. I'd like to update you on the things i've found out in the past few days:
-I may not make the hockey team this year. In fact, probably won't.
-I may have tonsilitis.
-The prom date was reschedualed to the date my brother is getting married (which, ironically, was chosen based on the original date of my prom).
-My chem mark is doomed.
-What i'm studying in university is so common getting a job is basically hopeless.
So i'm getting mildly depressed again, though i think that may be the temperature(as in mine, 102).
This following paragraph details the worst night of my life...ever.
On saturday i watched Bowling for Columbine (for a project) and Zero Day (a movie jess rented, worthwhile, check it out.) and both are about school shootings. That night Jamie and Crystal came over and I asked crystal when her wedding was. She said the 24th. Jess said "that's prom." and crystal of course freaked out and ended up crying all night. Yes, I did wan't to kill jess. I was planning to tell crystal later on. Ah well. She didn't realize. So anyway. Me and jamie sat around watching hockey and drinking beer and talking about Saving Private Ryan (jamie likes to babble when he's drunk. he usually ends up telling me the plotline of a movie i haven't seen yet) I was getting progressively sicker (beer=bad idea, i know, but i never get to hang out with my brother) i went to bed around 2 and had work at 8. It was the worst sleep i ever had. I dreamt i was in the middle of a combination of school shootings and war (it worked in the dream *shrug*) and i woke up around 5 am. I was hysterical. i thought i was still in the dream. i was awake, looking at my clock and everything, but i could have sworn i could still hear the people standing over me deciding whether or not they should shoot me. I remember holding my hands over my head and whimpering for about half an hour when i became aware of my ever increasingly urgent need to pee. I rolled out of bed and landed on my head. Then i turned the light on and that was when i had my first rational thought. i couldn't sleep for the next hour, i just laid on my floor and cried. And i was still a little hysterical, i was too afraid to turn off the lights. I wanted someone with me, anyone, i wanted to go wake up my mom. Then i just went back to bed.
I don't remember much about work the next day. I remember everyone asking if i was alright. i remember almost passing out while i was helping a client. i remember calling to see if anyone would come in to work for me so i could go home (no one could) and i remember the other girl coming late so i couldn't even leave early. I was supposed to go to the skate with denica after work (ironically the first day she could actually come, when i've been going skating every sunday since i started this shift) So i called her and burst into tears on the phone. I felt like such a child. The rest of sunday was just movies and today i stayed home from school i'm alright now i guess. freezing and achey of course. My head pounds when i so much as move it. My neck is a little swollen and very sore. *sigh* if it's tonsilitis i'm going to cry. Luckily i'm home alone. Mom is working (she got a job!) and dad, well, dad isn't ever home during the day. I really needed this day i think. Though i don't feel any less sick, i feel more psychologically stable. I may not even go to school tomorrow, which is bad. Plus the first hockey game of the season is tomorrow and i don't know if i could handle that. Of course this also just happens to be what decides the final team roster. (argh!) Then right after hockey is rugby which i REALLY need since i'm a total beginner and all. I may stay home from school but force myself to go to the two sports things. Yes, it is suicide. Meh.
Other tiny updates, i'm being the corpse bride for hallowe'en. i already wore my costume to the school dance where it was a big hit and i won a pity prize from mr thibeau who thought i should have won when i wasn't even picked to be in the running. I appear to be writing for the school newspaper this year, the movie collumn, though i didn't get an article in this time due to sickness, the death of my computer and my dad suddenly deciding to turn his computer off every night (i don't know his password, but he usually leaves himself logged on)My computer has temporarily regained life. This appears to be a system as it died at the beginning of october and regained life two weeks later, then died again three days later. *sigh* Ah well. Such is life.
This entry is long enough.
Cheers!
-I may not make the hockey team this year. In fact, probably won't.
-I may have tonsilitis.
-The prom date was reschedualed to the date my brother is getting married (which, ironically, was chosen based on the original date of my prom).
-My chem mark is doomed.
-What i'm studying in university is so common getting a job is basically hopeless.
So i'm getting mildly depressed again, though i think that may be the temperature(as in mine, 102).
This following paragraph details the worst night of my life...ever.
On saturday i watched Bowling for Columbine (for a project) and Zero Day (a movie jess rented, worthwhile, check it out.) and both are about school shootings. That night Jamie and Crystal came over and I asked crystal when her wedding was. She said the 24th. Jess said "that's prom." and crystal of course freaked out and ended up crying all night. Yes, I did wan't to kill jess. I was planning to tell crystal later on. Ah well. She didn't realize. So anyway. Me and jamie sat around watching hockey and drinking beer and talking about Saving Private Ryan (jamie likes to babble when he's drunk. he usually ends up telling me the plotline of a movie i haven't seen yet) I was getting progressively sicker (beer=bad idea, i know, but i never get to hang out with my brother) i went to bed around 2 and had work at 8. It was the worst sleep i ever had. I dreamt i was in the middle of a combination of school shootings and war (it worked in the dream *shrug*) and i woke up around 5 am. I was hysterical. i thought i was still in the dream. i was awake, looking at my clock and everything, but i could have sworn i could still hear the people standing over me deciding whether or not they should shoot me. I remember holding my hands over my head and whimpering for about half an hour when i became aware of my ever increasingly urgent need to pee. I rolled out of bed and landed on my head. Then i turned the light on and that was when i had my first rational thought. i couldn't sleep for the next hour, i just laid on my floor and cried. And i was still a little hysterical, i was too afraid to turn off the lights. I wanted someone with me, anyone, i wanted to go wake up my mom. Then i just went back to bed.
I don't remember much about work the next day. I remember everyone asking if i was alright. i remember almost passing out while i was helping a client. i remember calling to see if anyone would come in to work for me so i could go home (no one could) and i remember the other girl coming late so i couldn't even leave early. I was supposed to go to the skate with denica after work (ironically the first day she could actually come, when i've been going skating every sunday since i started this shift) So i called her and burst into tears on the phone. I felt like such a child. The rest of sunday was just movies and today i stayed home from school i'm alright now i guess. freezing and achey of course. My head pounds when i so much as move it. My neck is a little swollen and very sore. *sigh* if it's tonsilitis i'm going to cry. Luckily i'm home alone. Mom is working (she got a job!) and dad, well, dad isn't ever home during the day. I really needed this day i think. Though i don't feel any less sick, i feel more psychologically stable. I may not even go to school tomorrow, which is bad. Plus the first hockey game of the season is tomorrow and i don't know if i could handle that. Of course this also just happens to be what decides the final team roster. (argh!) Then right after hockey is rugby which i REALLY need since i'm a total beginner and all. I may stay home from school but force myself to go to the two sports things. Yes, it is suicide. Meh.
Other tiny updates, i'm being the corpse bride for hallowe'en. i already wore my costume to the school dance where it was a big hit and i won a pity prize from mr thibeau who thought i should have won when i wasn't even picked to be in the running. I appear to be writing for the school newspaper this year, the movie collumn, though i didn't get an article in this time due to sickness, the death of my computer and my dad suddenly deciding to turn his computer off every night (i don't know his password, but he usually leaves himself logged on)My computer has temporarily regained life. This appears to be a system as it died at the beginning of october and regained life two weeks later, then died again three days later. *sigh* Ah well. Such is life.
This entry is long enough.
Cheers!