(no subject)
bit a chunk out of me tongue the other night..and swallod it..
pretty gross.. but then I was off my face..
waiting upon mums cooking...thats something that I havnt learnt to do yet away from home...
went to the casino last night..spent too much on gambling..I was still scattered fucking head spins
saw ks wednesday night I think it was? just had a couple of drinks at ashfield hotel it was strange seeing her after so long..I had no idea what to talk about I was so nervous..our lives have run so very different paths...though I would still love to keep in touch..my oldest friend since kindergarten...
I look at the past now and question..if a slightest change had been to what is would I be where I am at now? where else could I have been in this point of time? its strange to think of chance and fate and the smallest change of action could create a different direction..
I used to get so depressed all I wanted for my lot in life was to die..but I was gutless in taking my own life and now...?
well..im content...in my own way..
the depression is still there ugly and malicous but it lies still
I often wonder will it ever surface again?...
pretty gross.. but then I was off my face..
waiting upon mums cooking...thats something that I havnt learnt to do yet away from home...
went to the casino last night..spent too much on gambling..I was still scattered fucking head spins
saw ks wednesday night I think it was? just had a couple of drinks at ashfield hotel it was strange seeing her after so long..I had no idea what to talk about I was so nervous..our lives have run so very different paths...though I would still love to keep in touch..my oldest friend since kindergarten...
I look at the past now and question..if a slightest change had been to what is would I be where I am at now? where else could I have been in this point of time? its strange to think of chance and fate and the smallest change of action could create a different direction..
I used to get so depressed all I wanted for my lot in life was to die..but I was gutless in taking my own life and now...?
well..im content...in my own way..
the depression is still there ugly and malicous but it lies still
I often wonder will it ever surface again?...